The Pain of Losing Another
by SoftNoodle
Summary: [COMPLETE] AU. SessKag. He left her broken and vulnerable. After four years they run into one another again, only it is he who wants her back. Unable to understand his love, she'll keep on running. How will he show her he loves her?
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: Don't own it

Note: This fic was inspired by _Distance_ written by Leunra, and this is posted with her permission.

Thanks to ejqHorseLady for noticing some rather grievous errors on my part in this chapter.

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**The Pain of Losing Another**

**Chapter One**

It hurt. It pained her so much. Weakly, Kagome grasped the edge of the kitchen counter with one hand and lowered her body to the ground. Her other hand was placed gently over her still flat stomach. The child inside cried out in her pain from within the womb.

Kagome bent over her unborn baby, wrapping her arms around her stomach. "I'm so sorry." She wept softly. "I was too weak. I'm so sorry."

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Kagome blinked. The sunlight was blinding, but felt so good to stand in, to be embraced by the warmth from above. That was the main reason why she kept herself secluded, deep within her home, she didn't deserve such comforts. Her lack of sunshine caused her skin to become a milky white color, rivaling the finest marble, and as translucent as arctic fog.

Against her pale complexion, her raven hair and dark cerulean eyes shown starkly. She swathed her body in clothing of mundane coloring. She refused to wear clothing finer than plain cotton and possessing only beige and brown pigments.

For four years she had tried to make herself out to be as ordinarily weak and disgusting as she truly was. She wrapped her arms around her thin, almost malnourished-looking body, and peered out the window of her small home.

Basking in the rays of sunlight which filtered through the thick foliage was a slender four-year old little boy. He lay on his back with his eyes closed, his arms and legs splayed gracefully around him. Fine silver tresses spread out from his head, reflecting the sunlight in such a manner where it formed a glowing halo.

Unlike Kagome, the boy was dressed in the finest clothes she could afford. They were in bright and pale colors which complimented his natural features well . His slender build was already covered in lean, well-sculpted muscles, without giving him a bulky appearance. He held an almost effeminate sway to his whole being.

The boy was utter perfection, Kagome remarked to herself. Though he was still a child, she knew he would grow up to be a fine and handsome man. 'Just like his father,' she added ruefully.

Unshed tears welled up in her eyes. She often wondered bitterly how she could have borne a child of such absolute flawlessness. His father's superiority must have made up for her ineptitude, she realized. Her beautiful son was perfect. She was worthless.

Long ago, Kagome had come to a decision. She wasn't worthy of raising the perfect child, but at the same time, she was unwilling to pass him on to his father. She was selfish. He had left her, weak and broken, over four years ago. Perhaps in the back of her mind, she wanted a form of petty revenge against him. In the end, she decided she would try to be a loving mother to him, for as long as he needed her.

When she became useless to him, which she was sure she soon would be, she would pass soundless and inconspicuously from his life. She assured herself that she would be doing him a favor. Her son would be so grateful to rid himself of her worthless presence as soon as possible.

Perhaps, when the time came to leave him, she might call upon his uncle so at least he could inform his brother of his son. Then, father and son would be reunited, and she would disappear once again.

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Hoshimaru was bored. He liked to lay out in the sun, but he much preferred that his mama come out with him than stay inside all the time. He didn't understand why she didn't come out in the sun.

She only went out at night, often to pick vegetables or herbs from their garden or to tend to their cabin or other things. For a while he entertained the thought that she might be allergic to sunlight. His mama had once told him that people who had allergies had to stay away from the thing that made them sick.

He shook his head and opened his eyes. No, he remembered once when he was playing by the creek, he had accidentally fallen in. It had happened before he had learned how to swim. His mama had bolted out of the house and practically flew to save him. She had run through sunlight that day, and had been perfectly fine.

Hoshimaru sighed. He rolled onto his side and looked back toward their home. His sharp eyes could see his mother standing at the window watching him. He loved his mama so much, he just wished that she would come out and spend more time with him. He wanted to play with her like they used to do when he was even littler.

"Mama," he called out.

Kagome smiled from where she stood. She walked to the open doorway, carefully remaining in the shadows, and waved at her son. "What is it?"

"I'm hungry." Hoshimaru whined. He was rewarded with a light chuckle. His mama sounded so pretty when she laughed. He thought she was the prettiest woman in the whole world.

"Alright then. Come inside and wash up. I'll have lunch ready by the time your hands are clean." She held open her arms.

Hoshimaru grinned. "Coming Mama!" He stood on his feet quickly and ran into his mama's embrace. She was so warm and soft. He loved the way her arms wrapped around him. Sometimes, he wished that she would hold him like that forever. "I love you mama." He whispered before dashing off to the washroom.

Kagome stiffened as she heard her son's softly spoken words. A warm feeling filled her chest before she harshly pushed it away. No, she didn't deserve his love. He was perfection. "Oh, I'm so sorry. My beautiful son, you don't know what you're saying…" She said sadly.

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The pair had just sat down for lunch when their door burst open unexpectedly. A tall red-headed teen barreled in, launching himself at Kagome.

"KAGOME-KAA-SAN! I MISSSSED YOUUUUUU!" He shrieked.

"Ow…"

Hoshimaru went to stand over the intruder as the teen was currently on top of his mother, pinning her to the ground with his weight. "Shippou-nii-san! You're too big to do that now. Only I can!" He scolded, placing his tiny hands on his waist.

Shippou stuck his tongue out at the silver-haired child. "Since I'm your aniki, I don't have to listen to you. I'll hug mama, all I want."

"Help me…" Kagome gasped weakly from the floor.

With that, the two boys helped Kagome to her feet. She dusted herself off lightly before embracing the taller boy. She pulled back to hold him at arms' length. "My Shippou-chan. It's been a while since I've seen you last. Have you gotten taller?" She held a hand out to the top of his head and brought the hand toward her, measuring that he was indeed about half a foot taller than her diminutive height.

"He's taller than you, mama!" Hoshimaru exclaimed.

"Yep, and soon you will be too, my little dear." She smiled at her son. Kagome turned back to Shippou, whom she still held by the shoulders. "So what brings you way out my way, Shippou-chan?"

Shippou could only grin at his adoptive mother. She would never cease to call him little, even if he grew to be three feet taller than her. "I have great news! But I want it to be a surprise, so I gotta tell you later," he pointed conspicuously at Hoshimaru.

Seeing this, the younger boy pouted. "But I wanna heeeeaaaar." He whined. "Mama, make Shippou-nii-san tell me too!" He spun to face his mama, hands crossed over his chest, face in full pout.

Kagome laughed at her son's antics. "Now now, if Shippou-chan wants to keep it a secret for now, I'll let him. You'll find out sooner or later." She waved her hands placatingly at him, then gestured toward the table. "I think I'll set up a third setting now?" She raised an eyebrow toward her adoptive son.

Shippou grinned widely and Hoshimaru brightened immediately.

"RAMEN!" They squealed in unison.

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Shippou stared sightlessly through the window. The glass had been frosted so that though he could see the other side clearly, he could not see his own reflection. He laid a hand against the cold pane before resting his forehead on it.

Kagome had become thinner. He could tell she hadn't been eating as much. He snorted, she probably thought she wasn't worth the wheat grown for their bread. Every penny she earned went to buying Hoshimaru the finest clothing, food, and luxuries she could afford. Without even looking, he knew the stark differences between their rooms.

Kagome slept on a plain straw pallet in the middle of her unpainted room. One side of the room contained an unpolished oak cabinet she had constructed herself to hold her meager belongings. Hoshimaru had a teak bed with a down comforter and pillows. His room was painted a cream color with matching plush carpet. All of his furniture was hand polished, and made of the highest grade cherry lumber with a dark mahogany finish.

When Hoshimaru had become old enough to begin to notice the glaring differences in the way their rooms were set up, Kagome locked her door. If he ever needed her, she would come to him, and sleep beside him in his room, but he would not be allowed to see her room. She tried so hard to provide the best for him, sometimes going for days without food to pay for his luxuries.

Shippou would stop by at least once a week with food and money, which she would not accept, but he forced it on her anyway. Jade eyes closed as he tried to hold back his tears. Kagome tried so hard, too hard, to raise her son. She was fading away right before his eyes.

When her fiancé had abandoned her, Shippou had found her laying brokenly on the kitchen floor, surrounded by a pool of her own dried blood. He took her to her family for comforting. She had been completely shattered, her body ailing and weak, her spirit defeated. After a few days, she disappeared from her family's shrine, leaving behind a note saying that she did not wish to burden them with her worthless presence.

Shippou had once again sought her out. Finally locating her, months later, at a hospital when someone had found her going into a premature labor on the streets and called for an ambulance. After that, she had tried to flee again, but Shippou had kept a close eye on her.

While in the hospital, she had tried to commit suicide three times, but finally quit after Shippou reminded her of her duty to raise her son. The little premature baby had spent a scant seven months in the womb of his mother, and due to the self-inflicted abuse on her body, he was placed in intensive care.

Shippou had finally convinced her to stop running from him as she lay on the hospital bed, covered in wires and tubes. Her arms were held down with restraints to keep her from hurting herself again.

Shippou, only fifteen at the time, was completely mortified by his mother's reactions. He couldn't understand her heartache, but cursed the man who had caused her to become like that. He held onto her hand as she lay helpless, trying his best to comfort her. At that time, she begged him to not tell anyone about her son or her. She wanted to flee from the city and escape her horrible memories.

Her eyes were full of such pain. Shippou couldn't deny his mother her request. Hesitantly, he agreed, on the condition that she move to a place of his choosing and that she stay there. She nodded as he pointed out to her his father's old hunting cabin.

The cabin was far from the outskirts of the city, tucked away in rural Japan. The location of the cabin would be hard for anyone to find if they did not know exactly where they were going. It was in a place which seemed frozen by time. Most people there were farmers. They would walk from village to village, often bartering for needed items. It was perfect for Kagome's needs.

After the death of his parents as a child, his family's fortune had fallen on his eight year old shoulders. Being a mischievous child, he wanted nothing to do with the responsibility that came with it, so he fled. A fifteen year old Kagome took him in, not knowing his name or origins, but just seeing a child who needed help. Under her guidance, he went back to his duties, but he chose to stay with Kagome anyways. Now, he only wanted her to be happy. He would do anything to ensure it.

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Kagome tucked Hoshimaru into his down bed, pulling the covers up to his chin. She brushed back the few silver strands of his hair from his face and smiled. She bent down and gave him a loving kiss on his forehead before shutting off the lights and closing the door. She made her way downstairs to the living room where Shippou sat, uncharacteristically brooding by the window.

"Shippou-chan? Is something the matter?" She called out softly.

Shippou turned and smiled. Her voice was so lovely. It was a shame that she didn't think so. She thought everything about herself to be horrid and undesirable. "Hai, I'm fine, kaa-san. Just tired, I guess."

"Well, I set up the spare room for you already. You can go and rest while I tidy up around here." She gestured for him to sleep.

"No, I'd rather sit out here and watch you, kaa-san."

Kagome smiled. "Whatever pleases you, dear." Humming to herself, she made her way around the cabin collecting things and straightening out the room, all under Shippou's watchful eye.

An hour had passed, still finding Kagome moving about the cabin, and Shippou watching her. "Kaa-san?" He called out, breaking the still silence.

"Yes?" She replied distractedly as she pulled the wrinkles out from the throw rug.

"Inuyasha and Kikyou are getting married."

Kagome stilled. Slowly, she turned to face the taller teen, her eyes glistening. "Oh..my god. I'm so happy for them. It's about time they got married." She exclaimed as she stood to embrace her adoptive son.

Shippou nodded, refusing to mention the fact that the reason they waited this long to marry was because they were worried sick about her. They had spent so long looking for her, but Shippou had used his family's resources to cover her tracks, to make her disappear. It was what his okaa-san had wanted, he thought sadly.

"You have to tell them how happy I am for them." She said without thinking. When she caught herself, she pulled back. No one was supposed to know where she was, or that Shippou knew she was here. "I mean…"

"Don't say anything kaa-san." He interrupted her gently. "Inuyasha is totally oblivious, but I think Kikyou knows that I know something. She told me yesterday that she wished that her younger sister could be at her wedding."

Kagome blanched. "No, I don't think I could…Oh my dear sister, I'm so sorry, but I can't…" She drew back, falling toward the couch. "I want to be…" She said softly, "but I can't, I just can't."

Shippou strode forward and caught her hands in his. He marveled for a moment how small her hands seemed in his. "Kaa-san, it would mean so much for them if you were to be there." He held her hands tightly, his eyes pleading with her. "They would be so happy to see you again. They haven't heard or seen anything of you for so long. And it would give them a chance to meet Hoshimaru. I'm sure he would love to see the rest of his family."

"I…" Kagome faltered. She desperately missed her family. She had spent four long years away from all of her loved ones, except for Shippou and Hoshimaru. She longed to see their faces again, but at the same time, she feared them. What would they think of her? She was such a disappointment to the family. She had started out so promising, but she had messed it up. What she had done was unforgivable in her eyes, she had been too weak.

"They WANT to see you, Kagome. They all miss you very much." Shippou added, sounding very much like an adult. He could see the internal battle Kagome fought with herself. He had to make her understand that none of what happened was her fault.

"But, what if," she started, tears interrupting her.

Shippou hugged the woman to her, allowing her to cry all over him if that's what she needed. She was so small, so fragile against his stronger frame. She barely came up to his neck. He rested his chin on the top of her head. "Kagome, they don't hate you." He said softly. He could here her muffled sobs against his shirt. He knew that more than anything, she wanted their forgiveness and love, it was something she desperately needed. He just couldn't relay to her that she already had it, full and unconditionally.

Clutching the woman to him, he leaned back to sit on the couch. He settled her into his lap, rocking back and forth in a comforting manner. "Aishiteru, okaa-san." He whispered.

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	2. Chapter Two

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**Chapter Two**

Kagome grasped her Hoshimaru to her body closely. The boy was nervous, yet excited. He had never before gone beyond the forest surrounding the cabin. Now he sat in the rear seat of a taxi in his mother's lap. Shippou sat beside her, happily jabbering on about the new buildings which had been constructed during her absence.

Kagome smiled weakly. She tried to focus on the redhead's words, but her mind kept wandering, sending her on the verge of panic with worry. Kagome was still very unsure of herself. She worried over whether or not her family would still want to see her. In her eyes, she was naught but an utter failure, a being of absolutely no value to anyone.

She hugged Hoshimaru to her, giving him a reassuring squeeze once in a while. Her son smiled back warmly. She sat, staring out the window, trying to calm her wildly beating heart. She was going to the shrine. She was going to visit her family. Did they still want to see her?

She wasn't very sure they would…

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It had taken Shippou about a week of pleading, but he was finally able to convince her to leave the cabin to visit her family before the wedding. He had been unable to persuade her to attend the wedding, but he was pleased that at least she would pay her family a well deserved visit after so long.

He was so excited, but at the same time, he was aware of Kagome's nervousness. She had been completely broken, and required much time to heal. He had hoped that the few years of solitude he had allowed her had helped her instead of increasing her recluse nature. He was concerned about the latter. The last thing he needed to do would be to aggravate her fragile condition. So he chattered on about inane and meaningless trivialities while she stared unseeingly at him and their surroundings.

Pasting a bright smile onto his childish features, Shippou grinned and assured her repeatedly about her family's desire to see her. He was desperately hoping that this visit would encourage her to get out more and to not view herself as an unwanted object.

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Kikyou grumbled to herself about her own stupidity as she watched the obese feline put on an unexpected burst of speed and dash out the open doorway. She had gotten up early to retrieve the milk bottles from the front door, the back of her mind thanking the faithful milkman who trekked up the shrine stairs every morning, when Buyo decided that it was time for a morning stroll. Slightly irritated and disheveled from sleeping, Kikyou wrapped the small cloak about her more tightly. The early chill was quite biting this morning.

She yawned, eyes blinking blearily, she tried to rub the sleep from them while scratching her head. While successful in making herself look more untidy than ever, she could not locate the lazy lump of fur which was the family pet.

Kikyou allowed herself a light chuckle. At one point, Buyo had been an energetic (thin) kitten who loved to chase the mice in the shrine. That was when they were all younger and Buyo had been primarily Kagome's pet. As he aged, he got fatter and lazier, but was still loved by all. When Kagome left, he only seemed to get fatter and lazier, but at the same time, looked so much more lonely. She could understand, they all missed their dear little shrine maiden.

Chuckles became silent sobs, and Kikyou wiped away a bitter tear. "Gome-chan, I miss you." She whispered.

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Shippou held Hoshimaru in one arm and Kagome's hand in his free hand. The young boy had fallen asleep after the short plane ride to Tokyo. They had taken a cab to the outskirts of the town where the shrine resided and decided to walk the rest of the way. Hoshimaru sighed in his sleep and curled tighter into Shippou's chest in an unconscious attempt to ward off the morning chill.

Kagome held Shippou's hand in a veritable deathgrip, causing the teen to frown. She was so nervous, on the verge of panic from what he could tell. If he hadn't returned her grip with his own, he was sure that she would have snatched up her son and fled back to the cabin, running all the way if need be.

"Relax, 'kaa-san." He plastered a grin onto his face. "I know they can't wait to see you. Won't this be a surprise for them. I can't wait to see their reactions." He said brightly, trying to lift her mood.

She gave him a weak smile in return. "Yes, it will be a surprise." Internally she frowned. 'They'll probably be so surprised that I have the gall to return. I should go back.' She thought.

As if hearing her thoughts, Shippou's hand tightened around hers. She looked up to see him smiling at warmly. "They will love seeing you again, I'm sure. They've missed you."

Kagome remained silent. She closed her eyes and relaxed, allowing the younger boy to lead her around. Even with her eyes closed, she could never forget her home town.

At the moment, they were passing the ice cream shop where she used to celebrate birthdays and trivial events with her friends and family. In eight minutes, they would cross the street and be two minutes away from the WacDonalds where she spent so much of her junior high and high school afternoons with her friends. A forty minute walk from there, they would enter the neighborhood of where her best and closest friends lived.

At the end of the street, they would turn left and walk through the cemented routes of an old forest, following the lines of houses where trees used to be. They would turn left again and then right at the abandoned home. It would take seventeen minutes to reach the last street. They would walk past six houses, turn right, pass another twelve houses, and come to across one of the main streets of the town. They would cross the street and find themselves at the foot of a daunting staircase. Two hundred and thirty-six steps divided into three flights.

As a child, Kagome would often race her friends up the stairs. Of course, she would always win, having lived there her whole memorable life. Sometimes, some of the neighborhood boys would join in, three in particular, she could remember. One always chased her, and if she hadn't known the shrine grounds so well, would have caught her. One was always overly polite and loved giving her strange medicinal remedies which she would promptly hand over to her overjoyed ojii-san. One seemed more content to look at the rear of her than the front. They were always a lot of fun and Kagome never minded if they partook in the games she played with the girls, which were mostly more tomboyish than expected from the young females.

Shippou watched as Kagome's tensed expression relaxed into serenity. The corners of his mouth curled upwards. She was so beautiful when she was happy. She must have been remembering better times, he realized. Kagome's hometown would make anyone nostalgic though. It was a quaint, clean place; a nice place where someone pure such as Kagome would flourish. Shippou himself noticed this when he was eight, it was a stark contrast from the life which he had been used to at the time.

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Sesshoumaru reclined wearily into his chair. He placed a hand over his eyes. At the moment, he wished he had a sword, or a gun, or a rabid rabbit, or something with which he could cause irreparable damage. It was so frustrating. Taisho Corporation's main rival, Akatsune Industries, had once again outmaneuvered his plans and had somehow monopolized on Mizuni Tech's silicone exports.

It was infuriating. Not only did Akatsune Industries repeatedly acquire manufacturing contracts which were the well known targets of Taisho corp, but the leader of Akatsune Ind. constantly avoided all contact with their representatives and had even been absent at a requested meeting with the head of Taisho corp, Sesshoumaru himself.

According to the information he had been able to obtain, Sesshoumaru had gathered that Akatsune-san was an established genius. He had begun heading the business since he was eight years old when he was orphaned due to his parents' passing in a car accident. There had been rumors that the car accident had been caused by Hiten and Manten, two well known goons in the employ of Kumo Inc, a smaller, yet still powerful, rival business.

Sesshoumaru frowned. If Taisho corp and Akatsune Ind would come to an understanding, they could easily crush Kumo Incorporated and become the most powerful corporation of all Japan. Merging their businesses together would also save him a lot of pain and heartache in the paperwork section of his day.

However, the young company leader seemed to have a grudge against him, though he was not sure why. Sesshoumaru had never met the boy personally, so he wasn't sure what he could have done to offend him. If anything, Sesshoumaru should have been the one who was irritated by the other's actions.

It was tiring. He propped up his elbow on the desk and rested his chin in his hand. He was so tired. After a rather catastrophic engagement five years ago, he had thrown himself into his work. Taisho corp, already infamously successful, had flourished under his leadership.

Now he was in charge of an insanely huge company. Other than his secretary and personal assistant, Sesshoumaru wasn't sure if he could name a single employee in his staff. In most meetings, he often sat and slept with his eyes open. They were pointless. Taisho corp was virtually indestructible by any other company unless Kumo and Akatsune merged, which was about as likely as himself miraculously being able to shit kittens.

Simply put, the three companies were in a deadlock. Though Akatsune headed the three in profits and capital, none of the companies would be able to assimilate the others without the cooperation of another party, which, currently, did not seem very likely.

Sesshoumaru stiffened at the horrendous buzzing sound of his intercom. Irately he pressed the button. "What is it?" He intoned impassively.

"A call from your brother, sir." His secretary's bright voice floated in.

"Half-brother," he corrected, bored. It was really meaningless for him to continue correcting it, but it had become a force of habit.

"Uh, yes, half-brother." She corrected half-heartedly. "He called to remind you that he's getting married in a month, and in his words 'You'd better damned well be there you son of a bitch or I will personally show up on your doorstep or whatever other hellhole you're hiding your worthless ass and beat the fucking shit out of you.' And, 'oh yeah, you gotta come see me today cuz we gotta get you outfitted 'n' shit 'n' there's some other crap. I don't know.'"

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes. His secretary had been in his employ for a little less than four years. He fired the last one after some less than tasteful events had occurred which she had played a part in.

His new secretary had a flair for delivering his messages as stated, unfortunately. Most of the time, he could applaud her accuracy, but she often relayed even the most crass of messages in her same cheerful manner. It would get quite disturbing sometimes.

"Thank you, Sanako. Tell him that I'll be in attendance. And no more calls for today. I'm leaving." He replied.

"Okay, Taisho-sama. Good day!"

With that, Sesshoumaru clicked off his intercom. Leaving behind his stack of papers, he slipped into his jacket and left his office. It was all meaningless, he wasn't needed. He had strengthened Taisho corp to its absolute limit. Unless Akatsune Ind or Kumo inc withdrew or merged, absolutely nothing would change. Why further complicate the situation and add to his misery with a headache and paperwork. It was all futile.

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Clad in a much warmer outfit, consisting of an oversized wool sweater and loose, thick pants, Kikyou resumed her hunt for the elusive feline. She would call his name out every so often, but so far she had not seen the cat since the morning when he had made his great escape. Irately blowing her bangs out of her eyes, she placed her hands on her hips. 'Kagome would know where he went,' she thought, surprising herself.

"Now where did that thought come from?" She wondered aloud. She shook her head. Tightening the hair tie of her pony tail, she made her way away from the Goshinboku and toward the well house. A movement across the grounds caught her eye and she turned her head in time to see a fuzzy rear and tail scamper down the shrine steps and disappear from her sight. "Buyo!" She called, and jogged after it.

She could see the cat pause a few steps down, he turned his head and meowed once, then continued down the steps. He didn't make it far as he was scooped up into Kikyou's arms. "You naughty little cat, what are you thinking so early in the morning." Buyo pawed at her sweater and mostly ignored the woman's scolding, his attention focused at the bottom of the stairs.

Curious, Kikyou peered down, she could make out three shapes at the base of the stairs. 'Visitors this early?' She wondered. One had a vibrant shock of red hair. Beside him a pale young woman stood nervously. Both were looking up at her. "Oh Kami…" Kikyou's arms fell limp to her sides. Buyo fell neatly and scampered down the stairs.

Biting her lower lip hard enough to draw blood, she fiercely prayed that she wasn't dreaming. Kikyou bounded down the stairs heedlessly. She took the stairs four at a time, a feat only capable after years of conditioning on the shrine grounds.

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Shippou's hand had tightened once more around Kagome's. She smiled briefly and squeezed his hand back reassuringly. Seeing a familiar fluff ball making his way toward her, she held her breath. At least there was some creature who still wanted to see her. When Buyo pawed at her feet, she released Shippou's hand and reached down to pick up her furry companion.

She cradled the small creature to her chest and he meowed appreciatively. He snuggled up into her arms and promptly fell asleep. Kagome turned to Shippou and smiled. "Buyo missed me."

Shippou nodded, then gestured with his free hand for her to turn around. She did so slowly, at first not comprehending what she was seeing. Her elder sister stood a few steps from the bottom of the staircase. Her cheeks were flushed and she was panting from her wild flight down the stairs. She looked at Kagome with wide disbelieving eyes.

Tentatively Kikyou reached out, as if to assure herself that what she was seeing was real. Unconsciously, Kagome flinched. To her, it looked as if her older sibling was about to strike her.

"Kagome," Kikyou whispered as she saw the other girl's reaction. Her heart dropped sadly. She, of all people, knew the real reason as to why Kagome had become as broken as she was now. Gingerly, she laid a hand on Kagome's bowed head and stroked her hair soothingly. She gently drew the younger girl into a tight embrace, Buyo cuddled between them.

"Imouto-chan, I missed you so much," the elder girl murmured into Kagome's hair. Below her she could feel Kagome trembling, almost pulling back. Kikyou only held her tighter. "I'm so happy to see you." Kikyou whispered, hot tears blurring her vision. "Please don't leave again." She buried her face into the dark wavy hair of her sibling. "Don't leave us, Gome-chan."

Kikyou held on to her sister until the shaking stopped. When Kagome's breath evened out, Kikyou relaxed her hold. She stood back to take in Kagome's appearance. She was shocked by the obvious paleness of the girl's features. When she had held her, it seemed that the younger girl could have shattered if she had squeezed her any harder. Kagome had been starving herself, that much she could tell.

Looking beyond her little sister, Kikyou saw a familiar form towering over them. Shippou had grown so much since the last time they had seen him. He hadn't visited the shrine in the past few years, and had only kept contact with them through rare telephone calls or the sparse e-mail. Cradled in the teen's arms was a small sliver haired child, fast asleep.

Giving the red-head a look meaning they would have to talk later, she held Kagome's silent and tense form against her, and walked her up the stairs. Shippou followed them quietly.

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Sakuya Higurashi stood at the stove, patiently stirring a large pot of oden. She smiled to herself, remembering her younger daughter's excitement at the smell of oden cooking. Oden had been her favorite dish. Absently, she slid the sliced fish from the cutting board into the pot and adjusted the temperature.

Outside, she could hear the pattering of footsteps. It was quite early for visitors at the shrine, but it couldn't be helped. She placed a lid over the pot and lowered the temperature once more to allow it to simmer, but not burn while she was occupied. She washed her hands and wiped them dry. Straightening her clothes, she went to answer the door.

:- -:- -:-

After ten minutes of pounding, the door swung open. Miroku poked his disheveled head out, his eyes still glassed over from sleep. "Whatcha want?" He asked, yawning. He stood clad in an oversized t-shirt and boxer shorts, obviously his sleepwear.

Sesshoumaru curled his lips in distaste. "I have come to inquire the whereabouts of Inuyasha. He left me a message this morning which reminded me of something he had requested of me."

Miroku paused in mid-yawn, his hand frozen on his head which he had been scratching. His eyes widened. "Oh crap!" He suddenly disappeared from the doorway.

Refraining from rolling his eyes, Sesshoumaru settled on stepping back from the open door. The foul odors of the apartment were far from pleasant, making him wonder how long it had been since Miroku had last done any cleaning of any sort. Perhaps something had died in his apartment and he had allowed it to ferment in there.

Miroku appeared a few minutes later, fully dressed and hygienically safe. "Ah, I completely forgot, I was supposed to meet Yasha at the shrine today. Well, it's eleven o'clock, so I'm only an hour late. But I'm glad you're here. It makes things easier since I was supposed to call you anyways." He babbled.

"Indeed." Sesshoumaru kept his face impassive as they approached their respective cars.

"Anyways, I gotta go pick up Sango. She's gonna throw a fit when I tell her that we're late. Inuyasha should be at the shrine right now, chattin' it up with Kikyou. Uh, there was something I was supposed to ask you…" He trailed off, scratching his head thoughtfully. "I forget, but I'm sure Yasha will tell you when you see him. Well, gotta go. Bye!" He waved cheerfully, before dropping into his car and racing off.

Sesshoumaru frowned. The shrine. Of all the places he wished to return to the least, Higurashi Shrine had to top them. Though they were not hostile toward him, the residents of the shrine cast about an aura which made him feel unwelcome. He didn't blame them.

Sighing resignedly, Sesshoumaru sat in his car, pulled out, and headed toward the shrine.

:- -:- -:-

Opening the back door quietly, Kikyou noted that her mom had a pot of oden on the stove. She allowed herself a small smile, remarking on the irony that her mother would make Kagome's favorite dish today.

Buyo padded past Kikyou and into the kitchen, much happier to be in the warm house than outside in the cold.

Taking no notice of their cat, Kikyou immediately turned her attention to the voices coming from the living room. Recognizing the voices of her mother and fiancé, Kikyou wanted to slap herself in the face. Amidst the morning chaos of kitty-hunting and sudden sibling reunion, she had forgotten that she and Inuyasha had set aside today to plan out the finer details of their wedding. Praying that they hadn't noticed her, Kikyou snuck in her silent sibling and her companions.

:- -:- -:-

Kikyou and Shippou had come to the conclusion that as great as it was to have her back, Kagome was far from ready to meet everyone again. They would have to go slowly, introducing her friends and family to her one at a time. So they decided that they would take Kagome up to her room, and wait until she was ready. It pained Kikyou to know that her little sibling was wary of even her, the one who had been closest to Kagome her entire life.

Kagome's room had been left untouched since she had left them. It sat as an innocent reminder of the child she had used to be. Hoshimaru was laid on the soft pink bed and tucked in under warm down comforters. Kagome sat at the bedside to watch over her son, and for what unconscious support his presence gave her.

Shippou and Kikyou sat across the room from her, silently pondering. They both understood their dilemma. Kikyou had mentioned to Shippou that many of Kagome's closest friends would be arriving at the shrine to help out with the wedding plans. If Kagome's presence was known, they would all want to see her, and they didn't think that Kagome would be able to handle that, but it would do to hide her while they were over.

Kagome was starved for affection, but she pushed them away. What was worse was that she appeared afraid of them. She didn't think herself worthy of them, their attentions, or anything they could offer.

:- -:- -:-

It was too quiet. The tension in the air only served to assure Kagome of what she had concluded: she shouldn't have come.

Shippou was unsually quiet and her elder sister seemed troubled. Neither of them would even look at her. She was unwanted after all.

Kagome had felt so happy to hear her sister's words of wanting to see her, but she had lied. Kikyou didn't want her here after all. She had only said those words for Kagome's sake. Kikyou had always been so compassionate and caring.

Kikyou had always been so much better than her, but was never conceited or had any malicious intentions. Kikyou would be kind even to people who had been cruel to her. It was one of the many reasons why Kagome loved and idolized her elder sister so much. Kikyou would always know what to do, while Kagome struggled and failed.

Kagome smiled sadly as she looked upon her son. He seemed so contented in sleep. She brushed his fine hair from his face and kissed his forehead. She stood slowly. She had to leave. They didn't want her here. It had been a mistake for her to even think that they might have wanted to see her.

Kagome was across the room and at the door before Kikyou or Shippou could stop her. She opened the door silently with the intent to disappear before they noticed when she was stopped.

:- -:- -:-

Inuyasha had heard the backdoor open. He was lounging on the couch, waiting for Kikyou. Mrs. Higurashi had told him that she was out about the shrine grounds searching for their cat. When he had offered to help look, the woman had simply pushed him onto the couch and told him to wait there comfortably until she returned.

Mrs. Higurashi chatted idly about things, asking him how he was and what he was doing. Inuyasha answered her as best he could, but his mind was elsewhere. He wondered if his brother had gotten his message. It was strange, but he knew his brother felt deeply guilty about what had happened four years ago, but there really wasn't much he could have done about it. Sesshoumaru had simply crapped up his own life with his shitty attitude.

He heard Kikyou pattering around in the kitchen, but was surprised to hear that there were some people with her. He told Kikyou's mother that he had heard her come in and go upstairs.

Sakuya smiled. "She must not have noticed us." She remarked, well, make yourself at home. I'm going to finish making lunch." She stood and went back into the kitchen.

"Thanks, Higurashi-san." Inuyasha replied as he ran up the stairs.

He had heard them go into Kagome's old room. He was sure of it. Curious he opened the door and stood completely shell-shocked at the sight which greeted him.

:- -:- -:-

Surprised blue eyes stared up him before fading into a dull grey. Kagome bowed her head and tried to retreat from Inuyasha.

Moving as fast as he could, Shippou had one hand on Kikyou's back and on on Kagome's. He shoved both out of the room, forcing Inuyasha to take a few steps back. He shut the door firmly behind him and grinned broadly. "Hiya Inuyasha. Haven't seen you for a while. Let's move this reunion to a place more suitable, ne?" He smiled innocently.

Kikyou gave the red-head a questioning look while Inuyasha sputtered, his brain struggling to comprehend what had just happened.

"Shippou?" He managed to croak.

"In the flesh." Shippou spread his arms wide. When Inuyasha wasn't looking, he gestured to Kikyou to keep quiet about the sleeping boy. It would be something that he would explain later.

Turning wide eyes to Kagome, Inuyasha stared at her intently, as if to assure himself that was really there. "Kagome…?" He whispered softly, praying that she wouldn't disappear.

Afraid to meet his gaze, Kagome kept her head bowed. "Hello, Inuyasha." She said uncertainly. At hearing no response, she moved back, attempting to hide behind Shippou when she was suddenly crushed against a hard body.

"Kagome! I can't believe it! When you disappeared, we went mad searching for you. I missed you so much!" Inuyasha bawled.

Kikyou leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Kagome as well. "We all love you very much Kagome." She cooed gently. This was what Kagome needed most right now, Kikyou thought. She should have said so sooner, but the shock had yet to wear off. Give it to Inuyasha to instinctively know what to do. It happened rarely in any other case, but Inuyasha almost always knew how to make Kagome feel better. He was like an older brother, always looking out for her.

Standing stiffly, tears rolled down Kagome's cheeks. Her arms reached out to weakly embrace the other two. Turning her head a little to face Shippou, she mouthed a "thank you," before burying her head onto the shoulder's of her loved ones.

Shippou grinned. It couldn't have worked out better. He frowned a little at the thought of explaining Hoshimaru though. He knew Inuyasha would want Sesshoumaru to know about him. Shippou frowned. He didn't want Sesshoumaru any where near his Kagome-kaa-san. He'd have to keep Inuyasha quiet about Kagome's return.

:- -:- -:-

:- -:- -:-

:- -:- -:-


	3. Chapter Three

:- -:- -:-

:- -:- -:-

:- -:- -:-

**Chapter Three**

"Hey, what's all the hubbub? We're not that late." Miroku commented as he entered the Higurashis' house. There seemed to be a party or something going on.

Sango swatted him on the head. "It's you're fault we're late! If you could just wake up on time, we wouldn't be late!" Sango retorted.

"You could've called me." Miroku calmly replied.

"No, my phone's broken, which is also your fault!" Sango waved a finger at him. "You owe me a new phone!"

"It's only broken because you threw it at me." Miroku whined, holding his hands up in a placating manner.

"If you weren't so perverted, then I wouldn't have thrown it at you."

"Well, I can't help it if your delicious looking-"

"Guys?" A voice interrupted their banter.

"What?" They said simultaneously, turning their heads to face the speaker.

It seemed the whole family was gathered in the living room. Mrs. Higurashi was sobbing quietly with a large smile on her face, she held a tissue to her nose and blew noisily. Higurashi-jii-chan looked positively drunk with happiness, though it could be attributed to the large bottle of sake on the living room table. Souta sat on the floor with a tall red-head beside him. On the couch lounged Inuyasha and Kikyou with a familiar girl perched between them. Buyo lay sprawled across her lap.

:- -:- -:-

It had not taken long for Mrs. Higurashi to come flying up the stairs at the mention of her missing daughter. Inuyasha's wailing had been loud enough to hear from the first floor. She had latched on to her daughter and could not stop weeping.

After that, Jii-chan had been informed and she had called Souta from the University to visit. Jii-chan, at first sight of his favorite grand-daughter, promptly pulled out the sake and declared it a celebration.

:- -:- -:-

"I don't believe it," Sango gasped, her hand flying to her mouth before she dashed to the girl. "KAGOME!" She shrieked, catching the surprised girl in a tackle hug.

Inuyasha and Kikyou bounced to the side due to the force of Sango's lunge. The excited girl embraced Kagome and squeezed her tightly. "Oh my KAMI! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!" She demanded, still squeezing the poor girl while rocking back and forth.

"Can't…br-breathe…S-Sango!" Kagome gasped while patting her friend on the back in a futile attempt to get the girl to relax her tight hold.

Ignoring Kagome's pleads for air, Sango continued scolding the girl. "You shouldn't have left! Never, never, never! We're never going to let you go again! I swear it!" Sango was stopped in her tirade by a gentle hand on her arm. She looked up to see warm violet eyes sparkling merrily.

"If you don't release her soon, Sango-chan, poor little Gome-chan will expire before you finish telling her how much we missed her." Miroku teased lightly.

"Oh my God!" She abrupty released Kagome as Inuyasha and Kikyou stifled their giggles.

Red faced and panting for air, Kagome smiled up at her best friend with tears in her eyes. "Hi Sango." She said nervously. "It's good to see you again."

"'It's good to see you again.' IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY!" Sango shrieked, holding Kagome by the shoulders.

"I…" Kagome faltered. She looked helplessly at Shippou, but before Shippou could say anything, Miroku intervened.

"Sango-chan, why don't we let Gome-chan explain when she's ready. I'm sure we'll get an explanation for what's going on." He gave a pointed look at Inuyasha, who shrugged. Miroku frowned slightly. He had figured that at least Inuyasha would know the circumstances, or perhaps had even orchestrated the reunion as an accomplice to Kikyou. Apparently not.

"Shippou-chan, you've grown." He commented. "Must be quite the ladies' man now, eh?" He grinned and the teen flushed.

"Sh-shut up you perv!" Shippou stammered, blushing.

Miroku laughed and mussed Shippou's hair. "You wound me dear boy! I am no pervert! I have eyes for only one!"

"But hands for everyone else." Sango added sourly.

"Oh, but Sango love!" Miroku moved to clasp Sango's hands in his. "If you would but bless upon me the gift of bearing my child, I'm sure the curse of my wandering hands would be lifted!" He proclaimed loudly. He received a sharp strike to the head, knocking him to the floor.

Sango returned her attentions to Kagome. "How are you?" She asked.

Kagome flushed. "I…I've been good. Um...there's something I'd like to say to everyone…" She paused, looking around for approval. Shippou nodded and held her hand tightly in his. He knew what was coming. At the arrival of everyone, Kagome now had to explain herself, and, among other things, introduce them to the new member of their family.

It would be difficult for Kagome, but with her heartfelt reunion, he was sure Kagome would make it. She had always been a strong person. He had brought her here for the express reason of for Kagome to know that she was loved and sorely missed. Her understanding nature had brought her to the conclusion that she now had to explain her past actions. It was well known to himself and Kagome's family that not all present knew of what had really happened to her.

:- -:- -:-

Giving a soft smile which warmed her features, Kagome stared out into the sea of faces around her. Each face was focused on her in an array of expressions, ranging from hopeful to worried to supportive. She faltered for a moment.

It was difficult to explain herself in a way that her friends would find accepting. She had never really been a person to act so rashly as to run away before, but at that time, she had known nothing but pain. The pain had slowly eaten away at her, even to her current point. Her inner turmoil had shown clearly in her physical appearance. Kagome was as white as a sheet and looked as if the next hard wind would shatter her. She had become the epitome of a porcelain doll.

Slowly, Kagome bowed her head, unable to meet the intense stares of her friends and family. "I know you've all been asking where I've been these past few years," she started weakly. "You don't know how happy you've made me by looking so hard." She bit her lip as a few tears slid down her cheeks. Her whole face felt hot at the thought that she had been missed. Her family still loved her.

"I'm sorry that I had been a disappointment." She continued quietly.

At the first sign of argument, Shippou stared at them hard. He gave them the silent message to let Kagome finish. If she was stopped now, it would be next to impossible to get her to finish later. Shippou squeezed her hand reassuringly as he felt the invisible tremble run through his mother.

"I was the one to break of the engagement four years ago, then I ran away. It was selfish of me, but I thought I could spare you all the heartache of having to look after someone like me." Kagome's voice broke, and she let out a soft, sad little hiccup.

Breathing deeply to try and clear up her emotions, Kagome blinked away her tears. Gripping Shippou's hand tightly, she looked up to face her family. "Four years away was a long time. It has given me time to think about everything and…I'm sorry. I've caused you all a lot of grief, but that wasn't my intent. I just wanted everyone to be happy, and I thought that if I left…" Her throat constricted. She had thought that if she wasn't there, they would all be happy. Regardless of the pain it caused her, their happiness was more important.

A soft hand was laid against her shoulder. Kagome looked up to see the loving gaze of her mother on her. "Kagome," she said softly. "We all love you very much." She drew her youngest daughter into a gentle embrace. "Never think otherwise, no matter what anyone says."

Kagome lay limply in the arms of her mother. Tears scalded down her face. "Mama…" She cried in barely a whisper. "I missed you." Squeezing her eyes shut in an attempt to block out the negative thoughts which would permeate the moment of comfort, she weakly returned the embrace.

"I'm sorry." Her mother murmured softly into her ears.

:- -:- -:-

Sesshoumaru angrily snapped open his cell-phone. He had driven around for a few hours in indecision. He was trying to uncharacteristically prolong the time before he had to confront the friends and family of his ex-fiancée. At the very moment he had reached the crossroads to the shrine, his phone had rung, ripping him from his contemplation. He had expressly ordered that he would take no calls today, but no less than an hour later, his personal assistant calls him.

"What?" he barked into the receiver.

Visibly cowering on the other end, Jaken made a small noise of fear. "I'm sorry Taisho-sama, but I thought you should know, Kumo Incorporated is making threats on Taisho again." He squeaked.

Sesshoumaru rubbed his temples. "Is this nonsense what you called me for? It doesn't' matter."

"But!" Jaken interrupted quickly. "Onigumo says that he has made arrangements to merge with Akatsune, by engagement."

Sesshoumaru growled. After his own fiasco of an arranged marriage, he had never wanted to hear the word 'engagement' again. "That is pointless. There is no one for Onigumo to marry."

"He brought up the subject of Akatsune's mother."

"She is dead." Sesshoumaru clipped.

"His foster mother," was the quick correction.

Sesshoumaru paused. He had never known that the Akatsune heir had a foster mother. The thought had never crossed his mind. It would be problematic for him if Kumo and Akatsune were to merge. "Who is she?"

"I don't know."

"Find out." He clipped and snapped the phone shut.

Sesshoumaru clenched his jaw. After ending the call with Jaken, he sighed. He made a sharp right turn and drove directly toward the shrine. Resigning himself, he parked and slowly made his way up the shrine steps, inching up one step at a time.

Taking almost half an hour to reach the top, he found the grounds oddly empty and lacking the noise he would associate with the large gathering which the shrine was supposed to accumulate on that day.

:- -:- -:-

Musical laughter floated through the air. Sango was yelling while Miroku groveled on the floor. Inuyasha and Shippou were fighting. Kikyou was pouring tea for ojii-san. Souta was petting Buyo on the floor while watching the goings ons. Nothing would ever change, Kagome thought smiling.

She yelped in surprise as Miroku suddenly grabbed her legs which were bent over the edge of the couch. "Kagome-sama! Help me!" He whined pitifully as Sango slammed her fist down onto his head. Grabbing at his legs, Sango tried to wrench the man from her friend's legs, but Miroku stubbornly held on tightly.

"HEY! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" Inuyasha had turned at Kagome's yelp to see his best friend clinging inappropriately, he thought, to his future sister-in-law. He leapt wildly at the poor man while Shippou stood there grinning.

:- -:- -:-

Mrs. Higurashi stood patiently, hidden behind a wall with the phone receiver pressed to her ear. She listened to the brief ringing of the phone before the other line picked up. "Taisho-sama," she greeted formally.

"Higurashi-san? Is that you?" A deep voice questioned. After a compliant confirmation, the voice continued. "No need to be so formal, Sakuya-san."

"Hai…Touga-san." Sakuya let a smile flit lightly over her features.

"So, what is the occasion?" He asked in humor, but Touga could all but hear the hesitation in the woman's demeanor.

"Touga-san…Kagome has come back. I thought that you would like to know." She replied softly.

"I see," was the slow reply. "I'm very happy to hear that. You and your family must celebrate the occasion." He intoned carefully. "Was there something that you would like me to do?"

Sakuya nervously twirled the phone cord in between her fingers. As much as she respected the former Taisho CEO, the man could be damn aggravating with his words. "I was wondering what you would like to do." She answered just as carefully.

It was a delicate situation. It had been, after all, a marriage that he had arranged, with their cooperation. At the time, it had seemed that everyone would have benefited from the arrangement. Kagome herself had not objected. They had all known that the conflict with originate from Sesshoumaru.

"How is she?" Touga smoothly interjected, avoiding the unspoken question. He did not want to repeat his mistakes, nor put the poor girl through anymore harm than had already come to pass upon her.

"She's shaken and frail. But I'm hoping that with time spent here, she'll recover more fully. I believe there are a few secrets she's still hiding though. I want her to trust in us again and to protect her like I should have before." She answered truthfully.

Touga frowned. It had been his fault. It was he who had come up with the idea in the first place. He had been close friends with the Higurashis since the passing of Sakuya's husband, who had been a loyal employee of his. The couple had such charming children. He had figured that his own sons could only benefit from their presence. He had been wrong. "Sakuya-san, it's not your fault. The fault lies entirely with me." He sighed. "If possible, I'd like to come over for a visit," he frowned, "unless she isn't ready to see any of Taisho blood." He added wryly.

Sakuya shook her head in a negative the man couldn't see. "No, Inuyasha is already over. She might be able to bear seeing you, but…" She trailed off, her mouth curling into a small frown. "I just…wish the best for your eldest. I know he didn't mean to hurt her like he did, but my baby is still weak." She paused before voicing her request. "I was thinking, Kagome is far from ready for such a confrontation. If you could-"

"Consider it done." Touga clipped sharply. Speaking with a smile in his voice, "Sakuya-san, I wouldn't dream of harming your family. I'll make sure that Sesshoumaru won't find out about Kagome's return until she's ready."

"Thank you Touga-san. I'm very grateful to you and your family. You've been of incomparable help to us." She hung up the phone before allowing the man to reply. Sakuya let out a slow breath and leaned against the wall. She was hoping she was doing the right thing. She had to shield her daughter right now. She didn't think she could handle if Kagome ran off again. Lifting the sleeve of her blouse to her eyes, she smartly wiped away the forming tears and hid any emotions which had bubbled to the surface.

Kikyou had pretty much the whole run of the family when they found out about Kagome's disappearance. Souta, unable to understand everything fully, escaped into his schoolwork. Ojii-san had been almost inconsolable for a time. Sakuya herself had a breakdown, refusing food and sleep in trying to find her lost daughter.

Kikyou had been strong for all of them, but she had to have been hurting among the worst. She was the closest one to Kagome, the one to understand her the most. In the end, they had to accept Kagome's decision to leave. They all understood that Kagome needed time to heal, but she needed to heal with them. After some time alone, she was sure to come back. Sakuya hadn't thought it would take four years.

She missed her daughter so deeply. She loosely wrapped her arms around herself. It seemed so cold suddenly. Her little girl had grown up into a broken woman. It was painful to look at her. Kagome was so thin and pale. A hollow expression had replaced her once sunny and innocent demeanor. Her face had become so haunted. The empty eyes which looked at them all; they glimmered with a glassy look, but only reflected what she saw. Kagome wasn't touched by it. No matter how she smiled or how she acted, she was still trapped in a lonely world.

Her darling baby had gotten hurt. She had been delivered a pain so deep, it might never heal. She should have rejoiced that Kagome had returned at all, but just looking at the changes Kagome had gone through, Sakuya deeply regretted ever letting her baby go. She should have looked harder for, tried harder to protect her. She should have noticed the signs of her daughter's unhappiness, but Kagome was a completely selfless girl. She had hid all of her pain and all of her suffering until she had broken. Her body and mind had passed their limit and had shattered. Her heart had irreparable damage done to it. Kagome had become a shell, and it was all Sakuya's fault. She couldn't protect her baby.

:- -:- -:-

Sesshoumaru strode swiftly across the shrine grounds. The outer portions seemed completely deserted. Even the old priest who seemed to be perpetually sweeping the grounds was absent. Slightly puzzled, Sesshoumaru made his way in further. He was positive that he was correct in the date his brother had provided. Of course the fault could have lain with his brother, it would not have been the first time Inuyasha had messed up his dates, by mistake or otherwise.

Upon reaching the Higurashi home, he noted that the doorways had been flung open, as if in haste, or perhaps they had forgotten to close them. Mentally shrugging, he entered quietly, shedding his shoes and silently closing the door. Hoping that letting himself in would not be considered too rude, he ambled slowly toward the main room when a shriek quickened his pace.

He raced for the doors to the living room and sped through them. Shock froze his body as he took in the scene before him. It seemed that the whole family had gathered in the living room and were clustered around the center table. At one end of the table, there was a pile of bodies all dog piled atop a poor young man. The rest of the rooms occupants crowded around an effectively familiar face.

:- -:- -:-

Touga listened to the dial tone of the phone after Sakuya had hung up. All of the Higurashis had kind natures, but Kagome had been the most giving of them all. He had thought that she would be a good influence for his eldest son, and she had been, until he had made a disastrous mistake. He replaced the receiver slowly into its cradle and rubbed at his temples.

It would be better to visit the shrine soon. He needed to straighten things out with the Higurashis, and if nothing else, apologize. A full explanation had been long over-due.

:- -:- -:-

Kagome tensed at the sudden intrusion and her body drained of any color as she recognized the intruder.

Golden eyes had widened to a size she would have considered impossible for him to achieve. The room seemed to become so abruptly silent and still.

Sesshoumaru's mouth gaped as he had the attention of the whole room, but his focus was riveted to the lone woman. She had changed so much since he had seen her last. Her body had looked to have healed completely, but the look of absolute terror on her face at the sight of him appalled him. Although her reaction should have been expected, he couldn't help but feel the pang of sadness lance through him. It physically hurt him to see her so terrified of him.

He opened his mouth slowly to try to explain something, anything to the woman, about how regretful he was about what he had done. "I-" The sudden and unwelcome blaring of his cellphone shattered the spell of stillness. Immediately he was leapt upon by two very angry young men.

The women flew to Kagome who had backed away from the newcomer. As soon as she saw her friends and family heading toward her, she fled for the stairs. Bitterly she wiped away the tears which had once again found their way down her cheeks. She shouldn't have come back. The look of pure disgust on Sesshoumaru's face at the sight of her more than confirmed all of her suspicions. She wasn't wanted here.

Inuyasha and Miroku had to jump and grab the two volatile youths as they had been attempting to strangle the life out of Sesshoumaru. Miroku had his arms wrapped around Souta's torso and pulled him far enough so that Sesshoumaru wouldn't be hit by any of the boy's flailing limbs.

Inuyasha had Shippou by the arms, gripping them behind the youth's back as Shippou was screaming profanities at his elder half-brother. "You're timing couldn't have been better, bro." He muttered through gritted teeth. It actually required him to use almost all his strength to keep the little squirt in line. My how the boys had grown.

Taking the pause, Sesshoumaru checked his cellphone and cursed as he saw it had been Jaken who called him. Angrily switching the contraption off, he threw it against a wall and headed toward where the women were chasing Kagome.

Shippou's eyes widened. He stomped on Inuyasha's foot, then he bent forward and used his feet the lever his whole body against Inuyasha, bending his elbows to strike and wind the man. "Sorry," he muttered before racing after Sesshoumaru. Sprinting faster than he ever had in his life, he was able to catch up to the Taisho and cut in front of him, blocking his entry to the staircase leading to Kagome's room.

"Move, boy." Sesshoumaru growled. He was in no mood to play with any idealistic young men. He would remove the obstruction by force if he had to.

"My my, Taisho-sama, I have never heard of you having such a temper." Shippou smirked. "I don't think I've had the pleasure of ever meeting you face-to-face." Plastering a grin to his face, he bowed slowly. "May I introduce myself?"

"Out of the way!" Sesshoumaru was seeing red. Not only was this boy was mocking him, but he was preventing him from speaking with Kagome.

"I don't think that's a very nice tone to take if you want to see my kaa-san." Shippou taunted lightly.

Sesshoumaru's eyes riveted on him, boring into the red-head to seek out any lies. "What was that?"

"Taisho-sama, allow me to introduce myself. I am Akatsune Shippou, of Akatsune Ind. It's nice to meet you." He narrowed his eyes at the man who had hurt his mama. If it required, he would play every card he had to protect her. "I do believe I'd like to conduct some business with you."

"Not now, let me through." Sesshoumaru ordered sharply. He moved to push the boy out of the way when Shippou placed a hand on his shoulder.

"It would be in your best interest if you listened to what I have to say first. Kaa-san would be very upset if you didn't hear me out."

Growling lowly in his throat, the Taisho leader allowed himself to be lead back into the living room. There, he saw that Kagome's younger brother had been calmed down, but still stared at him with nothing but pure hatred as Sesshomaru walked past. He received the same feeling while speaking with the Akatsune heir. He didn't care what they thought of him though, he just needed to speak with Kagome.

:- -:- -:-

Kagome pressed her body against the door. She had locked the door already, but on the other side, she could hear her family trying to talk to her, trying to coax her into opening the door. She squeezed her eyes shut. A hand clutched at her shirt and she bowed her head.

The pain in her chest wouldn't lessen. Her throat constricted and she found it harder to breathe. A soft choking noise escaped her. She should have stayed hidden. He hated her. She should never have come anywhere near here. He didn't want her around. He had never wanted to see her again.

"Kaa-san?" Hoshimaru sat up, rubbing his bleary eyes.

Kagome's gaze focused on him. It had been a miracle he had stayed asleep this long, but the boy had always been a heavy sleeper. Now, the boy looked to her questioningly.

"Okaa-san? Are you ok?" Hoshimaru could see his mother was in pain. She was looking at him like she was afraid of something. Worried, the boy climbed out of the bed and made his way toward her with his arms outstretched. Despite his young age, he could understand that his mother suffered from a deep pain she tried to hide from everyone.

Kagome trembled as Hoshimaru approached her. The boy's hair, his soft voice, his whole demeanor reminded her of _him_, the man who had hurt her, but his eyes…vibrant emerald eyes shone at her with only childish adoration and naiveté. Hoshimaru's eyes were a unique blend of her strange blue coloring and his distinctive golden orbs. The child wasn't him, but it was his.

Her chest hurt. She felt so cold, so hollow. Hoshimaru wasn't him, not yet.

"Kaa-san?" He asked, his voice carrying the tremor of his nervousness. Hoshimaru was really worried. His mama was acting really strangely.

Kagome knelt and gathered the small boy to her. "Shh…" She shushed him gently. She wrapped her boy into a warm embrace, stroking his head to calm him. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Just, please be quiet right now, ok?" She met Hoshimaru's apprehensive gaze warmly. He nodded silently. "Thank you." Kagome whispered gratefully.

She wasn't ready yet. She couldn't part with her boy just yet. She clutched the boy to her. She was being selfish, but at the moment, Kagome didn't care. She wanted to stay with her son just a little longer. As soon as her family found out about him, they would no doubt want to take him away and have Hoshimaru stay with someone more capable, more worthy of raising him. He would probably be returned to his father.

Kagome cringed. Her heart felt like it was breaking anew. "Just a little longer…" She pleaded quietly. "Please, I just want to stay with him a little longer…"

:- -:- -:-

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	4. Chapter Four

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**Chapter Four**

Sesshoumaru leaned back into the couch, keeping his expression as emotionless as possible. He looked bored, but Shippou knew better. The man's body was tense, as sure a sign as any that he was bent on rushing to Kagome. The red-head clenched his jaw. If he had anything to do with it, he would make sure to keep the man as far away from his okaa-san as possible. He didn't need the man to once more do irreparable damage to his now fragile mother. It was all his fault, he though venomously.

Inuyasha, Miroku, and Souta had been shuttled out by Mrs. Higurashi. The woman was smiling kindly and had asked them for help in certain matters outside of the house. The three knew it was a ploy to allow Sesshoumaru and Shippou to speak to each other uninterrupted, but they weren't sure why. They complied with the woman's wishes nonetheless though.

Before leaving, Mrs. Higurashi had made some tea for the two businessmen. The tea sat cold and forgotten on the table between them.

A cheerful smile painted onto his features, Shippou grinned at Sesshoumaru. "So, what brings you here?" He asked innocently, making idle small-talk in order to irritate the man. He knew that nothing annoyed the Taisho leader more than pointless actions.

Sesshoumaru curled a lip distastefully, but otherwise kept his face expressionless. "I was invited by my younger brother to come today. He mentioned needing my assistance in something." He replied slowly. He would play the boy's game. If what the boy said was true about Kagome being his foster-mother, then the boy had every right to hate him. Still, he wanted to explain to Kagome, and the boy was getting in the way.

"I see." Shippou grinned brightly. "So, are you helping out with the wedding?"

"Yes. It is my responsibility to set Inuyasha's affairs in order beforehand." Sesshoumaru stared at the boy with a glazed, yet no less intimidating glare.

Undaunted, Shippou continued his indirect taunts. "Speaking of affairs, I've heard a strange rumor originating from Taisho corp."

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow. "Pray tell, what would this rumor be."

Shippou made no indication that he had heard the man. He bent over the table and poured himself a cup of the now cooled tea. He held the pot up in a silent gesture asking if Sesshoumaru had wanted a cup. At the man's negative shake of the head, he shrugged and replaced the pot. He brought the cup to his lips and sniffed lightly before taking a sip. He was, in every respect, prolonging the amount of time before he had to acknowledge Sesshoumaru's question. Out of the corner of his eye, Shippou could already see golden eyes harden at him in impatience. He hid a smile.

:- -:- -:-

Sango stood agitated as she watched Kikyou speaking softly through Kagome's door. At the moment, she wanted to run and break down the door and simply hold Kagome until the girl understood how much she meant to all of them. However, in Kagome's frail state, she knew that probably wouldn't be the best course of action. So she left the consoling to Kikyou, and she watched from the sidelines. She would be there for Kagome for as long as the girl needed it.

After a while, Kagome's door creaked open a crack. Kikyou turned her head and nodded to Sango, assuring her that Kagome would be alright. Sango nodded weakly in return, slightly hurt that Kagome wouldn't speak to her yet.

Kikyou entered and shut the door behind her. She started slightly as she met a vibrant emerald gaze. "Oh my Kami…" She whispered.

Kagome slowly turned her face to meet her sister's. "Isn't he beautiful?" She asked softly.

Kikyou could only nod mutely. "He's amazing."

Hoshimaru turned his head inbetween the two. "Kaa-san, she looks like you." He whispered in an excited tone, but still trying to keep quiet. He wasn't sure if he was allowed to make a lot of noise yet.

Kagome smiled. "She's my older sister."

Hoshimaru's eyes widened. "There are people older than you?"

Kikyou bit her lip in an attempt to stifle her giggles. The child was precious. He had the unspoiled innocence which Kagome had possessed as a child. Afraid to scare the child, who was obviously shy by the way he clung to Kagome, she knelt beside him and smiled openly. The child returned the smile trustingly. "Hi, my name is Kikyou. What's your name?"

The boy looked to his mama briefly before answering at his mother's nod. "Hoshimaru."

"I see." Kikyou's gaze saddened. Leave it to Kagome to name her child something like that, the 'star of perfection'. Her younger sister had no confidence in herself anymore.

"Yeah, I know. It's a long and funny name." Hoshimaru made a face. "I don't like it much."

"Hoshimaru!" Kagome scolded.

The boy wilted. His silver head bowed, he clutched at his mama's shirt with small hands. "I'm sorry mama. It just sounds weird. And it's a lot longer than your name, or even Shippou's."

Kagome's lips smiled mechanically. She stroked his hair, running her fingers through the thin silky strands. "I think the name fits you." She bent her head so that it rested on the top of her son's head. "You are my perfect child."

Hoshimaru flushed, clearly embarrassed that his mama was talking like that in front of the new person. She had never acted like that before. "Mama?"

Kagome shook her head. "It's ok, Hoshimaru. I'm sorry. It was nothing." After reassuring her son, she turned her attention to her elder sister. "Kikyou onee-san." She said softly.

"What is it?" Kikyou asked, her brow furrowed. She could not remember Kagome ever being so formal. It was completely out of character for the normally rebellious girl.

"Would you take care of Hoshimaru when I cannot? I don't want the others to know about him yet. No one has even seen him yet except for you and Shippou. I think…it would be better as a surprise. What do you think, honey?" She tilted her head toward Hoshimaru, whose face had brightened at the mention of the word 'surprise'.

"Do you think?" He whispered excitedly.

Kagome nodded slowly and looked toward her sister. Kikyou sighed. "Of course, Gome. You know I would do anything for you. And I think that this will be quite the surprise."

"Thank you, Kikyou. You have no idea how much this means for me." She released her son briefly to embrace her elder sister.

Feeling as if she had just promised something she should have not, Kikyou slowly returned the embrace. She pulled back after a minute. "Kagome," she said seriously, "is he…?" Kikyou trailed off looking pointedly at Hoshimaru. The boy could only look puzzled at the woman's half sentence.

Kagome's throat constricted suddenly. She nodded. "Yes, he's _his_ child. I…I don't want to tell…just yet." A pale hand grasped at Kikyou's sleeve. "Please not yet. He's…he'll take him away. I can't…not yet." Kagome's grasp tightened on the material and she looked pleadingly at Kikyou. She was begging her to not tell Sesshoumaru.

Kikyou turned to fully face Kagome. She held her younger sister's hands in her own, Hoshimaru snuggled in between them on his mother's lap. "I won't betray your trust, Kagome. I'll keep Hoshimaru here, and everyone else downstairs. Until you are ready, his presence will remain a secret."

"Thank you."

:- -:- -:-

"THAT'S A LIE!" Sesshoumaru roared into the offending youth's face. He was standing, his body rigid with anger. "I would never have consigned a product such as that!"

Shippou merely sniffed and sipped his cold tea. If the man was passionate about anything, it would be his reputation and his business. Nothing else mattered. Shippou's eyes narrowed, the silver-haired idiot was simply too easy to read. He began to wonder as to why he had been fearful of the man in his younger days.

"So you say, but our records indicate that there have been a particular string of accidents related to the release of your new product. If you look closely enough, it affects female users, and generally between the ages of twelve and twenty-three." Shippou said monotonously. "If you doubt my information, you may leave and check yourself. I must forewarn you though, Akatsune has a very proficient information network, even more so than your own, and we are never wrong."

Sesshoumaru glared at the insufferable whelp. The child was taunting him, about his own business no less. Marketing had never been a particularly strong point when it came to Sesshoumaru's business savvy, or to be more specific, the products to market. At any given day, the Taisho could easily calculate the risks of stock, gains and losses of any exchange, extract properties and contracts from even the tightest of fists, and procure any object or title he desired. He could not however, sell a damn cup of lemonade if his life depended on it.

Perhaps it was his naturally intimidating nature or his inability to express a 'sunny' disposition, but Sesshoumaru could never make a what would be a 'legitimate' sale. He could easily charm anyone into purchasing a product, which was technically legitimate, but as for him going out as a merchandiser, it simply was not possible.

In essence, though Taisho did widely distribute an amazing array of products, he rarely kept track of it. The only things that mattered were maintaining the Taisho name and the increase of profit and capital and the ways of obtain them. As for what the Akatsune heir was describing, it had something to do with some new fat pill or something which the Taisho pharmaceutical branch had recently released. Apparently the pill could cause a body to retain water for an unspecified amount of time, even after the user stopped taking the pill. There had been only a few cases of such an incident so far, but there would be many more once the pill went into wide-distribution.

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes. Though the pill would not cause any serious monetary damage, it would be more than embarrassing. He couldn't even remember allowing the pharmaceutical department to develop such an ostentatious pill. It had been his opinion that such drugs were only a fad and entirely ridiculous. If people were worried about their weight, they should watch what they ate and exercise, not look for some miracle drug.

Shippou smirked openly. Already he had diverted the man's attention toward his business and away from Kagome. Getting him out of the house would be more than simple. Sesshoumaru didn't care for Kagome. He simply wanted to maintain his 'family honor'. The red head scowled, a look unbecoming of the young man. As much as he disliked to think negatively about anyone, he hated the man, Taisho Sesshoumaru. What that man had done to his mother was unforgivable.

:- -:- -:-

Kagome slipped soundlessly from her room. She spotted Sango who was sitting on the stairs, but appeared to be staring at a point far off. Her friend's mind clearly elsewhere, Kagome snuck out toward her brother's room down the hall. It would be a harder climb down, but if she had started out of her own window, not only would Kikyou have tried to stop her, but the people downstairs would see her easily.

Kagome wasn't running away. She just wanted some alone time on the shrine grounds. The familiar places and feelings they offered made her feel at home like nothing else. Perhaps some time alone communing with nature would calm her frazzled nerves enough to confront the others in the house. She hoped so. Kagome took a deep, slow breath, and began her graceful descent from her brother's window.

:- -:- -:-

Kikyou was smiling widely at the boy she was currently cradling in her arms. He was so adorable. Kikyou hoped that one day, when Inuyasha matured more, that they would have children as well. She had always wanted to be a mother. There seemed to be something so rewarding about seeing something two loving people created grow up, mature, and love them in return.

She frowned suddenly. "Two loving people," she murmured, then shook her head. Kagome was more than loving enough for two people.

"Huh?" Once again, hauntingly vibrant eyes stared into her.

Kikyou, shaken from her reverie, simply smiled and muttered a "nothing," to the curious little boy. His eyes were startling. They seemed to be an even blend of Kagome's expressive blue and his father's intense gold. The colors mixed to form an eerie, yet beautiful, metallic emerald, which was both clear and stormy. Despite the cause of his birth, Kikyou was sure the child would grow up to be a passionate person, if his eyes alone were anything to tell it by.

"I'm hungry. Will kaa-san be back soon?" Hoshimaru questioned while crossing his legs and studying the carpet fibers intently. The whole room was pink. He wrinkled his nose a little. It was such a girly room.

His mama had left with the assurance that she would be back soon. He sat waiting impatiently for her return and also for the surprise. He loved surprises, but loved them more when he was a part of the surprise. "Kikyou-ba-san?" He looked up at her curiously when he got no response to his previous questions.

"Oh!" Kikyou started. "Sorry." She grinned sheepishly. "Got lost in thought. I'll be right back with a plate for you. Wait here and play nice, now." She said teasingly before standing.

"'k, Kikyou-ba-san!" Hoshimaru yelled quietly, as to show his enthusiasm, but not give himself away yet to the others in the household.

Kikyou couldn't hold back her grin. He really was a really sweet child, now if only she could get him to call her something besides "Kikyou-ba-san," it made her feel old. She was about to traipse down the stairs while lost in thought, but a soft body prevented her. She looked down to see whom she had accidentally kicked. "Sango! Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going." She apologized. "What are you doing on the stairs?"

The younger girl stood slowly. "No harm done. I was waiting for Kagome." She said.

Kikyou gave her a puzzled look. "But Kagome came out a few minutes ago."

Sango blinked. "No one has gone down the stairs…" She paled. Thoughts of Kagome jumping from a window and fleeing the shrine flashed vividly through her mind.

Coming to the same conclusion, Kikyou's eyes widened. Her mind flew to Hoshimaru. "She wouldn't…!" Suddenly fearful for her imouto's state of mind, Kikyou raced down the stairs, hot on Sango's heels.

:- -:- -:-

Kagome stiffened as a rain gutter creaked beneath her heel. She quickly adjusted herself away from the flimsy hold and maneuvered toward a nearby ivy trellis. Balancing her weight between the trellis and her own rather precarious footholds, she made her way to the ground and began to run toward the surrounding forest.

:- -:- -:-

Sesshoumaru tensed as a strange sound graced his sensitive ears. It was the creaking of metal from somewhere out of the house, but nearby. He slowly lowered his body back down to the couch. His lips thinned as he tried to regain the iron control he had been so well known for, yet the sharp-eyed youth before him had so easily ripped away. Setting his thoughts in order, he realized that he had been sent off topic by the boy. A favor he would gladly reciprocate.

"Speaking of rumors," Sesshoumaru began, "a rather interesting one has come to my attention concerning you."

"Oh?" Shippou raised an eyebrow in an excellent mockery of Sesshoumaru's own expression.

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes. He calmed quickly. Slowly, as if moving through tar, he poured himself a cup of the chill tea and took a small sip.

Shippou smirked. Sesshoumaru was either already undone, or was mocking him, he had a suspicion it was the latter.

Taking his time, Sesshoumaru sat motionless and quiet for a few minutes. Then he placed the cup soundlessly onto the table. "I received a call earlier today from my assistant. It seems that he had received word that you were going form an attempt merge with Kumo Inc. Well, actually, I was not informed who had made the proposition, but the idea was in the air."

Shippou's smirk widened. Where was the man going with this. He knew better than for anyone to trust the slimeball known as Onigumo Naraku. After all, it had been that scumbag who had murdered his parents in the first place. Sesshoumaru, with the information at his disposal, should have known this. Was he simply killing time, he wondered.

"I believe it has something to do with marrying your foster mother."

Shippou paled instantly.

"But I don't recall you ever being formally adopted. So tell me, who is this 'foster mother' of yours?" He asked, figuring it to be Kagome, but wanting confirmation. It would be a terrible thing if Naraku got his filthy hands on his Kagome. Golden eyes narrowed at the boy's reaction. Though it had not been what he was hoping for, it was something to throw the kid off-track.

Shippou swallowed hard. Naraku knew of Kagome's existence? That was bad. He had tried very hard to keep the ties between them a secret. He did not want the murder of another of his parents to occur. In fact, the only reason Naraku should have known about Kagome would be the failed engagement with Taisho. That would be easily discarded by Naraku since the sadist would have no use for a failed project.

Wordlessly, the boy stood and ran up the stairs. He had to talk with his okaa-san and warn her. He would not be able to bear it if something happened to her. As he ran up, Sango and Kikyou were bolting down the stairs. The panic evident in their expressions was enough to tell the boy that his mother was no longer upstairs.

Shocked, but appearing impassive, Sesshoumaru was surprised by the sudden fear in Akatsune's face. If it was anything to go by, he knew that the rumored merger was a lie, but the reaction was something else. At Shippou's sudden departure, he figured something was wrong.

His sharp eyes caught the two women racing down the steps as Shippou turned and followed them. Sesshoumaru concluded that Kagome was no longer up the stairs. Remembering the sound he had heard before, he realized that she must have climbed out of a window.

Apprehension gripping him more tightly than he could ever remember, he ran out the back door. Kagome had fled!

:- -:- -:-

Sitting in the lower boughs of the Goshinboku was far more relaxing to Kagome than any vacation. It was before the God Tree where Kagome had her happiest of memories. She closed her eyes wistfully. How she wished she could return to the days of blissful naiveté, before she discovered how useless she was.

Kagome had never had much of an ego, but she always took a small pride in her ability to make others smile, or at least bring them an amount of comfort. She wondered if any of that had been real, or if she had been imagining those smiles. It hurt to think about it.

After a moment, a chill raced down her spine. Her eyes snapped open and fell upon a pair of molten eyes staring up at her. She froze, the feeling of icy dread overcoming her.

:- -:- -:-

Sesshoumaru had immediately started for the forest. He had known that Kagome had always run toward a forest when something had bothered her. He quickly found her resting in the boughs of the Goshinboku. For a while, all he could do was stare. He could not remember her looking so peaceful.

He watched as she stiffened and opened her eyes to meet his. Scarcely a second had past before she averted her gaze. She stood and moved to a branch behind the trunk, putting the body of the Goshinboku between herself and his gaze.

"Kagome," he called softly.

Sesshoumaru received no reply, but he could hear the rustling of the foliage as Kagome moved about. He waited for only a moment before continuing. "I want to explain myself. I know apologizing at this point would be meaningless, but I would like you to hear my explanation first. Then I would beg for your forgiveness." He said quietly, remorse tinting every syllable.

He heard the soft thud of Kagome's feet landing on the soil. He could not, however, hide his surprise as Kagome came bolting out, running past him. He reached out to try and snag her arm, but fell a few inches short. Reeling on his heels, he ran after her.

:- -:- -:-

Shippou and the girls were at the well-house where Kagome had been known to hide when she was little, when they spotted Kagome streaking across the shrine grounds. Sesshoumaru was only a few feet behind her. His eyes widened as he saw her disappear down the shrine steps.

:- -:- -:-

Kagome ran down the stairs with all the grace and speed of one who had been raised on the steep steps. She was not nearly as fast as the taller male giving chase on level ground, but on the steps she was a gazelle. No one could match her speed on the descent.

Sesshoumaru had to slow on the steps, or risk breaking his neck. He grimaced as he saw Kagome descend rapidly, and away from him. He was not unbalanced by any means on the stairs, but they were a daunting obstacle due to their steepness and height.

Kagome was already halfway down and Sesshoumaru knew he would never be able to catch her. If only he knew to where she was trying to run. She reached the bottom so quickly, he was only about two-thirds of the way down. His eyes widened when she didn't slow at all, nor deter her direction. She was running straight into the street! He would never make it in time to stop her.

Heedless of the oncoming traffic, Kagome plowed ahead. As her feet sped over the curb, she was hit sharply from the side. The heavy weight knocking her off her feet and sending her sprawling to the ground, the weight pinning her there. Shocked, Kagome looked up to meet a pair of furious amber eyes.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED!" Inuyasha screamed at the girl. He held her tightly by the shoulders as if trying to shake sense into her.

At Kagome's bewildered expression, Inuyasha realized that he didn't want to hear her answer. He had the aching suspicion that she had just tried to kill herself, and he did not want her confirmation of it. "Nevermind." He snapped before she could answer. He quickly lifted himself off of her and looked up the steps. Near the top were the horrified faces of Kikyou, Sango, and Shippou. Nearing the bottom of the stairs was his own brother who was tirelessly making his way towards them.

Inuyasha frowned. Whatever had happened here, or whatever Sesshoumaru had tried to do, had absolutely fallen around his ears. He scowled, then bent to retrieve the brown paper bag and its scattered contents. He had been sent to do some grocery shopping by Mrs. Higurashi, and in his haste so save her daughter's life, he had thrown the bag to the side. He frowned again as he noted that some of the more perishable items had indeed perished.

Tossing a mangled orange to the side, Inuyasha grasped Kagome's hand in his own, and began to lead her back up the steps. She followed him numbly. Inuyasha pushed past his brother, mumbling "It's probably better if you don't say anything right now," when the latter had attempted to speak to Kagome once more.

Shippou and the others met Inuyasha halfway up the stairs. They quickly encircled the girl and stayed that way until she was safely back into the house.

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	5. Chapter Five

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**Chapter Five**

Kagome sat unmoving on the couch. Her eyes were dull and unresponsive. Around her, Kagome's friends stood worried. Kagome didn't seem to notice them.

Shippou kneeled in front of her. He placed a hand on her knee and stared up into her pale face. "Okaa-san?" He received no response. "Okaa-san." He tried again. "Are you alright? We're all worried about you, okaa-san."

Slowly Kagome blinked. She couldn't comprehend what her son was saying to her, but one point had made itself clear, the voices were back.

"_Shut up! I don't want to hear your idiotic voice!"_

"_You useless bitch, what do you think you are doing?"_

"_Get away from me, wench!"_

Kagome recoiled, curling up and shying away from everyone in the room.

"Kaa-san!" Shippou's eyes widened. He had only seen Kagome like this one time before, and it wasn't an experience he was eager to relive. "Everyone out of the room!" He shouted. He would be the one to deal with it, and him alone. As the others hesitated, Shippou gritted his teeth and stood up. "Out, now." He menaced.

Out of the corner of his eye, Shippou could see Kagome flinch at his tone. He cursed inwardly. Kneeling in front her once more, Shippou rested his palms on the couch cushions on either side of her. "Okaa-san," he said softly. He met her blank gaze steadily with his own, hoping that she would take some reassurance or comfort from his presence. "It's alright. No one here is going to hurt you. We were just worried. I don't want you hurting yourself again."

He ran his fingers through her hair, now mussed from her wild run across the shrine grounds. Shippou sighed. "Okaa-san," he began again. "You're supposed to be healing. I never meant for anything bad to happen to you here. I just wanted to show you how much you were missed. Nobody hates you," he frowned, "despite what you were lead to believe." He added bitterly.

Shippou's presence was calming to Kagome, but she seemed unwilling to relax. She wanted desperately to disappear. She didn't belong at the Higurashi Shrine. She was completely different from everyone at the shrine.

She could never be a successful shrine maiden, like her sister. She could never become a techno head like Souta; who would have known that the thousands of mind-numbing hours her little brother had dedicated in the pursuit of conquering RPGs would have paid off in such a beneficial manner. She would never be able to keep such a happy home as her mother. Even her grandfather could outstrip her in his vast knowledge of ancient lore and feudal era remedies.

Kagome's frame sagged. She was a disappointment.

"_You're worthless!"_

"_Insignificant bitch! Don't tell me what to do!"_

"_Voice your opinions to someone who cares."_

The voices, they hurt. Each one made her short of breath and she wilted under each one of them. They rang in her ears, not allowing her to forget. Each were spoken to her with such vehemence, that she believed them.

"_You're weak. I don't want you here."_

They were right. Kagome had realized it a long time ago. The voices were echoing what she was, and what she could not change, but she couldn't cry anymore.

Shippou was afraid. Kagome had not made a single move, nor had she relaxed her tense body. She had been almost catatonic for an hour. No matter what he did, he couldn't get her to respond.

"Okaa-san, okaa-san." He whispered out in a quiet mantra. Nothing was working. He was about to go out and find Kikyou, when Kagome shifted slightly. Suddenly hopeful, Shippou picked up her hand and held it gently in his own. Almost winsomely, he looked at the small pale hand in comparison with his own. She was still so fragile. He had rushed things, he mused sadly to himself. Kagome wasn't ready to have come back. Sesshoumaru still frightened her and she had not recovered enough to meet him.

Shippou sighed again. He had been wrong. First thing tomorrow morning, he was going to take her back to the cabin. Perhaps by the time Kagome became an aunt, she might be ready, he thought hopefully. In the meantime, he would take her to her room and let her rest there until the next day. He frowned. If anything else, Kagome had relapsed to how he had found her four years ago.

He would have to talk to Sesshoumaru and find out what he said to her. Kagome was in no state to answer his questions.

Silently, the red-headed teen picked up his mother and carried her to her room, tucking her in gently. "Please rest now, okaa-san." He said softly, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Get better soon, I miss you and I love you very much. I just want you to know that. No one hates you. No one thinks bad thoughts about you. We all just want you to get better and smile like you used to. You had the most beautiful smile, okaa-san." Shippou closed his eyes holding back the tears which burned his eyelids. "Goodnight mama. I love you."

-:- -:- -:-

Sesshoumaru sat watching the afternoon sun set through the kitchen window, wordlessly. Inuyasha was stomping back and forth angrily, trying to hold back his rage and yet wanting the strangle answers out of his older brother. Sesshoumaru had not said a word to anyone since Shippou had thrown them out of the living room. When questioned, the man would simply ignore them or glare at the offender until they walked away.

Sango was sitting at the table with Miroku next to her. Miroku had returned after what ever task Mrs. Higurashi had sent him on a few minutes after they had entered the kitchen. They sat silently, waiting for Shippou to allow them to come and talk to Kagome. Sango frowned dejectedly. It seemed that she was totally unhelpful in dealing with Kagome.

Sango just wanted to share some of the pain so that Kagome wouldn't have to hold it all in or bear it all alone, but anyone who knew anything was kept as tight-lipped as a could be. Kagome's family, especially Kikyou, would smile and turn her questions to another subject. They avoided speaking of what had happened to Kagome and almost seemed to ignore the event in its entirety. They did, however, look to try to remedy Kagome's current condition with everything they had.

Beneath the table, Miroku have Sango's hand a reassuring squeeze. Miroku smiled. His demeanor emphasized the idea that Kagome would be alright, and Sango wanted to believe in him with all she was worth.

Kikyou had gone a way a little while ago, carrying a plate of food to her room. No one questioned her leaving.

Shippou suddenly appeared in the doorway. Sango turned questioning eyes to the teen, but Shippou just shook his head. "Kagome's in bed now. It's best to not disturb her." Shippou replied in answer to the unspoken question the occupants of the room had all thought. "I need to talk to Taisho-san." He said with a sharpness that was surprising in his young voice.

Sesshoumaru turned his head slowly to face the Akatsune. "We'll go outside." He said after a moment.

Shippou nodded and proceeded out the backdoor of the kitchen.

"When did the little brat get so bossy." Inuyasha muttered, lacking any of the teasing manner which normally accompanied his jeers directed toward Shippou. The red-head gave a half-hearted smile at hearing it. Inuyasha tried, but he had absolutely no skill in hiding his emotions. They were all worried over Kagome.

"This won't take long." Shippou said quietly in passing the younger Taisho.

Inuyasha grunted and crossed his arms, but he did not leave the room.

-:- -:- -:-

Slowly, grey-eyes blinked in the coming darkness. Kagome sat up, the covers falling from her body. She couldn't sleep, not here. She stood and walked to her window, drawing back the curtain. She gasped as a familiar white head was making its way across the shrine grounds.

Kagome sat back down onto her bed. She had to apologize. Slipping from her bed, she padded to the door and silently made her way downstairs, the voices still ringing in her ears. She made it to the door without being noticed and opened it before the man on the other side could knock. Bowing deeply, she greeted him. "Welcome Taisho-san."

-:- -:- -:-

"Taisho-san." Shippou spoke crisply to Sesshoumaru. He didn't want to say anything more than required in order to make his point. "I don't know what you said to Kagome, but it's clear that you're only harming her. We're leaving tomorrow. I think it's best if you cease to have contact with her altogether."

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed. "Child," he hissed, "you will not tell this Sesshoumaru what to do." Sesshoumaru was angry. He was angry at many things, but mostly at himself. He had always considered himself an honorable man. He was calculating, but honorable. He would never do anything that would taint his name. He was proven wrong four years ago. Now the wound had been ripped open and salt was being rubbed in mercilessly, and it infuriated him. Why not allow the child to stoke the fires of his own self-loathing.

Shippou stared incredulous at the man. Did he not hear him clearly or was the man really that full of himself. "Listen Sesshoumaru! All you're doing is hurting Kagome! You many not see it, but I do! Stay AWAY FROM HER!" His last words came out as a yell.

Sesshoumaru took a step forward, his eyes nothing more than molten slits. "Do not tell me what I can and cannot do, or you will regret it." He said, his voice dangerously low.

Shippou curled a lip. "Really," he said liltingly. "Because it seems to me, that you have done more things to regret than I have. Maybe, you just can't admit that you're wrong." He said sharply.

Sesshoumaru's mind flashed back to when Kagome had run down the steps. His heart had stopped as he saw her feet fly over the curb. All the blood in his body froze and a single thought rang through his mind, "I can't save her."

It was true, he had been responsible for Kagome's pain, and it hurt him. Seeing her cringe every time she heard his voice, or even the mention of his name made him feel hollow inside. He wanted nothing more than to run up to her and beg and grovel at her feet for forgiveness. Two things held him back. One was his own pride. The other was the fear that she wouldn't forgive him, that she would continue to hate and fear him for the rest of her life. If that were the case, he didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to know that he had hurt her so horribly, that even her infinitely kind heart had rejected him.

His own fear of rejection, his distrust of her, had been his own downfall. He couldn't look back with his head held high. It was disgraceful, and all he could blame was himself.

"She wasn't supposed to break." He murmured more to himself than for Shippou, but the other boy heard.

Shippou scoffed. "'Wasn't supposed to break'? Who are you kidding. That was your intention. But you just didn't realize that it wasn't what you wanted until far too late." His emerald eyes glittering with a light akin to malice, he glared at Sesshoumaru. "Face it, you were wrong, and you've done something unforgivable."

"I want for her to here me out." Sesshoumaru said quietly. "I want to tell her that…I still…"

Shippou's eyes widened.

"I lo-"

"SHUT UP!" Shippou roared. "You have no right to say that. Don't say it! You can't, you heartless bastard! I hate you! I hate you!" Shippou was screaming childishly now. It wasn't fair! He knew better than anyone else that Kagome couldn't hate Sesshoumaru. He was the person who could never be wrong in her mind. It pained him to know that after everything that had happened, Kagome still loved Sesshoumaru and that she thought that she was the one who needed to be forgiven.

Sesshoumaru didn't deserve Kagome's love. His okaa-san was kind and pure and perfect, and Sesshoumaru had destroyed her simply because he couldn't understand her unconditional love. He needed to be punished. If he spoke to Kagome, he would find redemption too easily. _HE_ needed to live with the guilt of knowing what _HE _had done, to know the extent of the damage _HE _had caused.

Close to tears, Shippou was trembling with his own rage. The idiotic man still didn't understand. All Sesshoumaru knew was that he was hurting because of his own guilt, and he was trying to ease his own pain. He didn't understand that Kagome was more important! It was KAGOME who had suffered the most!

Tears dripped hotly down his face as Shippou's emerald gaze met gold. "You don't understand. You still put yourself before anyone else, don't you, Sesshoumaru. You don't deserve Kagome's forgiveness, or her love. And I hate you all the more, because you already have both." He bowed his head in the polite gesture, but without any meaning, and stepped away, moving back into the house.

Shippou left the elder Taisho stunned in the Higurashis' backyard. He needed to get Kagome away from him as soon as possible. Sesshoumaru was still a threat to Kagome's heart.

-:- -:- -:-

Touga was a little surprised as the door opened before he could raise a hand to knock on the door. He was even more surprised to see who was on the other side.

"Welcome Taisho-san." She spoke so softly and with a slight rasp, it sounded like a light breeze over dried leaves. It was nothing like the soothing musical voice she had once possessed.

Inclining his head slightly he stared at her with slightly widened eyes. "Thank you." He replied.

He stepped in as she stepped back to allow him entry, never taking his eyes off of the woman. She was so pale and thin. It was shocking to remember what she had looked like before. The Kagome he remembered had been charming and full of life. Now she old beyond years and almost wizened. He scowled mentally.

He had known that Sesshoumaru had not treated her properly, but what he had to have done to have completely defeated Kagome's spirit must have been atrocious. He would have to get the full story from his eldest son later. At the moment, he had been unable to contact Sesshoumaru and didn't know where he was. His eldest had his cell phone turned off and secretary had been out to a late lunch when he called the office.

When he had first heard of the breaking of the engagement, Touga had figured that perhaps Kagome had tired of Sesshoumaru's poor attitude, but when she disappeared, he had worried. It never occurred to him to demand the full explanation from Sesshoumaru, for he had trusted his son to have acted honorably. Apparently it had not been the case, and now he regretted his decision.

-:- -:- -:-

Kagome led the former Taisho CEO into the living room and moved to scuttle away when she was stopped by a gentle hand on her shoulder. She looked up to meet a soft golden gaze.

"Please sit down, Kagome. I'd like to speak with you." Touga said as gently as possible. It seemed to him that Kagome wanted nothing more than to flee his presence like a timid animal. He felt Kagome stiffen under his hand and he frowned inwardly. Obviously there had been many things Sesshoumaru had neglected to tell him. Something was terribly wrong with Kagome.

Slightly tightening his grasp, Touga steered the girl toward the couch and made her take a seat. He sat across from her and gazed at her with a paternal affection. Smiling warmly he leaned back. "How have you been, Kagome?"

Kagome sat stiffly, her knees together and her hands folded in her lap. Her head was bowed and she refused to meet the Taisho's gaze, preferring instead to study the fabric of the brown pants she wore. "I've been alright." She answered softly after a moment.

Touga frowned openly now. It wasn't right. In the past he had witnessed cases of trauma from abuse, and Kagome was showing all the signs of it. The once bright and happy girl he had known had been broken. "Kagome, are you sure you've been alright? You can tell me."

Kagome nodded silently.

A moment of uncomfortable silence passed. Touga had become pissed beyond all reason. If Sesshoumaru had indeed done this to her, he was in dire need of having a "chat" with his eldest. He had been told that Kagome had broken the engagement and run away. He now discovered that he had been left out of a rather large loop. Sakuya, he knew, had a reason for not telling him, she didn't want him to worry. His sons however, he had expected to be notified if something such as a travesty had occurred.

So wrapped up was he in his thoughts that when Kagome had suddenly slid from the couch and bowed before him, he was taken aback.

Kagome was kneeled on the floor, her forehead pressed against the carpet. "Please forgive my disappointment to you, Taisho-san. I never meant to have been so useless to you. I was the one to break the engagement." She said in her soft rasp, her voice muffled by the carpet.

Touga stared in shock at the girl, a noise like a choked sound escaping him. Closing his gold eyes, he steeled himself with a few deep breaths.

Kagome didn't move. If anything, Taisho-san seem displeased with her. She had just made him angry, she thought bitterly. Why couldn't she do anything right. Biting her lower lip and clenching her eyes shut to fight back the tears, Kagome tried to withdraw. She wanted to run back to her room and lock herself inside.

Once again, a hand on her shoulder stopped her flight. Kagome cringed. He was going to hit her. She tried to curl up to make herself as small as possible.

"Kagome," Touga said gently, "who else is at the house."

Kagome hesitated, then began to list everyone who was currently there, minus her son. Surely, if she had mentioned Hoshimaru, Taisho-san would take him away. She wasn't ready to part with her son just yet. She was being selfish but she couldn't help it. She loved Hoshimaru with every part of her being, and he had yet to learn to hate her. She couldn't bear the thought of him realizing how useless she was and despising her. So she would part with him when he was ready, but not yet. She just wanted to keep him a little longer.

Touga's jaw clenched at the mention of his eldest. So, Sesshoumaru was at the shrine as well. It was surprising to learn of how many people were at the shrine, but he had figured that Sakuya had invited them in order to celebrate Kagome's return.

He looked down when he felt tremors under his hand. Kagome was shaking. He realized instantly that she thought he was mad at her. Quickly, he knelt and tried to assuage her thoughts of him. He wasn't mad at her, but rather at someone who deserved his anger.

"_Away, you useless bitch! I won't have you messing things up here!"_

"_Traitorous whore!"_

"_You don't belong here!"_

Kagome gasped. The voices were unbearable. Her head jerked up, eyes wild. All that registered in her mind was that silver hair and golden eyes were a threat to her. She shot up and pressed herself against a wall.

"Kagome, please calm down. I'm not going to hurt you."

Lies! Her mind was screaming at her. _He _said that. _He _said it before. _He lied! He lied!_

Touga was trying his best to reassure the girl of his intentions, but her eyes were wild and uncomprehending. Her mind had relapsed.

He reached out a hand, with the way her body was splayed against the wall, he knew she was on the verge of panic. He needed to calm her down before she hurt herself.

"_It hurts doesn't it? But you deserve it."_

"_You're worthless."_

"_I would never have thought that once I thought I lov-"_

"DON'T SAY IT!" Kagome shrieked, clapping her hands over her ears. The voices were merciless and scathing. She felt like she was being shredded from the inside. The pain was sharp and burning and she could feel that each time the voices spoke to her, a blade was cutting deeper into her flesh. At one time she had welcomed to feel of the cold metal biting into her skin, but now, she felt like she was fading. The images in her mind blurred until it became pitch black. Kagome fainted.

-:- -:- -:-

At the sound of Kagome's shriek the occupants of the house came bolting towards her. Inuyasha, Sango, and Miroku appeared quickly as they had not left the kitchen. Shippou and Sesshoumaru appeared a few moments later. Kikyou stood at the top of the stairs, but did not descend. She was still keeping an eye on Hoshimaru, who had miraculously fallen asleep once more.

"Tou-san!" Inuyasha yelped in surprise. His expression drooped for a moment, a reaction of seeing his father so suddenly since as a child he often got into trouble. He straightened immediately though, upon seeing Kagome's unconscious form being held by his father. "What happened?" He demanded angrily, his brash personality taking over.

"She fainted." Touga replied curtly to his youngest. He was still angry over the fact that his sons would try and hide something like this from him. "Though I would like to know why she would have fainted in the first place. Is there anything anyone would like to tell me?" He intoned in the dangerous, yet innocent sounding question only a parent could pose.

No one said a word. The intimidation ability of the older Taisho spoke volumes. They didn't need to say anything as the power of the "parent" had been established.

Shippou was the first to move. "Let me take her to her room." He said to the older man.

Touga stared at the young man. Could he have been the red-headed whelp Kagome had cared for in her younger years. It seemed that the girl had more power than he had realized for he recognized Shippou to be the Akatsune head.

"Akatsune-san, I am surprised to see you here."

"No need to be surprised, Taisho-san, as Kagome is my okaa-san." Shippou smirked openly. He respected Taisho Touga as both a powerful businessman and a good paternal figure. It was the eldest son of the Taisho's and him alone that he disliked.

Touga nodded and handed the unconscious woman to the young man. Unseen by all, Sesshoumaru's hands twitched and curled into fists at his sides. They were itching with want. He wanted to be the one holding Kagome, and he couldn't. He knew that at this point in time, Shippou, nor even his father, would allow him to touch the girl. He could tell by the look on his father's face that he was angry, if not infuriated. So, his father had figured out what had happened, a detached part of his mind mused.

-:- -:- -:-

After Kagome had been taken to her room, everyone else settled in the living room. Inuyasha sat with Sango and Miroku on the couch, while Touga and Sesshoumaru stood stiffly across from each other. An uncomfortable silence filled the room. The tension in the air was palatable and Sango and Miroku shifted in unease. Apparently, the Taisho sons were quite familiar with the ire of their father and were able to withstand it with much more ease than mere mortals such as they.

"Keh!" Inuyasha turned his head away. "If you're gonna yell at us, just make it quick instead of standin' around 'n' makin' us all nervous."

The sarcastic comment earned him a glare from his father. "Quiet Inuyasha, I shall deal with you in a moment." He said in a tone perfected through parental experience and brooking no argument. Touga turned his full attention to his eldest son. "I believe there is something we need to discuss."

Without turning to face his father, Sesshoumaru nonchalantly crossed his arms. "I believe that is a matter between Kagome and I, alone." He replied in a tone mirroring that of the elder Taisho.

Touga glared at his eldest. "We will discuss this now." He spoke with a tone of finality, and turned to leave, expecting his eldest to follow.

Sesshoumaru walked after his father, albeit reluctantly. When his father demanded a point, it was best to follow his wishes. Taisho Touga was not a person to be toyed around with, he knew this from personal experience. Unconsciously grimacing in remembrance of the authority his father had held over him as a child, and still currently held over him as an adult, Sesshoumaru followed his father into the next room.

-:- -:- -:-

Upstairs, Shippou had gently tucked his okaa-san into bed. He sat on the edge and gingerly brushed away some loose ebony strands from his mother's face. "I'm sorry, mama. I only wanted you to get better." He apologized softly. "When this is over, I'll take you back, and you can hide all you want, just get better. I promise I won't let anything bad happen to you, and I won't talk you into anything you aren't ready for." He vowed.

Refusing to let his apologetic tears fall, he bent over and gave his mama an affectionate kiss on the forehead, reminiscent of what she had given to him as a child. He watched his unconscious mother for a few minutes. She looked so peaceful at times when she was asleep. However, he knew that soon, Kagome would most likely be experiencing nightmares of the situation he wished she could forget.

Kagome had been scarred mentally and physically, and it hurt him to know that there was so much he could have done to protect her from that damage. If only he had paid her a little bit more attention, he would have seen how she truly lived. He could have saved her or even prevented it from ever happening. His fingers gripped and twisted the bed sheets in his fists in his unconscious rage.

"It's not your fault." A voice said softly from the doorway.

Shippou, surprised, looked up into the calm face of his adoptive aunt.

"There wasn't anything any one of us could really have done. You can't keep blaming yourself." Kikyou continued quietly. She padded over to where Shippou was, sitting beside him and gazing onto the unconscious face of her dear little sister.

Shippou gave a wry smile. His fists relaxed and Kikyou gingerly straightened the sheets. "Are you talking to me or you?" He asked sardonically.

Smiling weakly in return, Kikyou replied. "Both."

Turning his head to the side to scan the room, Shippou noted that Hoshimaru was no longer in the room.

"He's in my room." Kikyou said, answering Shippou's silent question. "Sleeping again." She added with a gentle smile.

Shippou allowed a brief chuckle to escape his lips. "Yeah, he does like to sleep. Me 'n' mama call it 'hibernation'. That kid can sleep like the dead." The grin faded from his lips as he saw Kikyou's expression harden. She stared at him through intensely questioning eyes. Suddenly intimidated by the abrupt change, the young CEO's own expression sobered immediately.

"So, you've known where Kagome has been this whole time." Kikyou said slowly. She wasn't accusing him, but merely stating the facts.

Realizing that he had let himself slip, Shippou bowed his head slightly. He turned to look back onto the face of his sleeping okaa-san. "It was her wish." He replied after a moment. "I would do anything to make her happy." He said resolutely. "She needed time. I tried to give her what she wanted." He spun to face Kikyou again. "I watched over her." He said, and in his silent zeal, Kikyou knew what the boy had meant.

Closing her own eyes slowly, Kikyou withdrew from the bed, her own head tilted downward. Kagome had tried hurting herself. She had been there when Shippou had first brought Kagome back from Sesshoumaru's home. She had seen the unadulterated condition in which Kagome had been left. The image would always be branded into her mind's eye. As much as she was a caring person herself, Kikyou found that she could not find it in her heart to fully forgive Sesshoumaru.

_She had rushed to hide Kagome from their mother's worried eyes. She had cleaned Kagome's wounds and changed her clothing, but her sister's empty eyes…hastily, Kikyou clenched her own eyes shut. Kagome had gazed blankly at nothing, and her haunting eyes could only convey the deep feeling of loss to whomever had looked into them. Kikyou had shielded the rest of the family from seeing Kagome completely broken. Her own empathic nature had brought her to the deepest depths of anguish by simply looking on her once cheerful little sister._

_At that time, had anyone else gazed onto the broken and desolate form of Kagome, they would only have felt the most genuine form of despair._

"I see." Kikyou said simply. She wouldn't have to say anything more to Shippou. She understood fully the task of which the boy had burdened himself. She embraced the young man in a warm hug. "Thank you so much Shippou-chan. I won't tell the others. Just take care of yourself and them." She knew that they would most likely be gone by morning. This was her last chance to say good-bye without alerting the others. "Please, try to keep in contact somehow. I promise I'll do all I can to help." With that, the shrine maiden stood tall, and strode out of the room.

Shippou's emerald eyes followed her as he sat unmoving, his shirt damp from the woman's silent tears.

-:- -:- -:-

Sesshoumaru and his father were standing where he had stood with Akatsune mere moments earlier. The two Taishos simply stared each other down, Sesshoumaru being the first to relent. He realized that he no longer possessed the right to fight against his father's word, or the word of any one else in his family or the Higurashi's.

Touga's eyes narrowed as he watched his son avert his gaze. Sesshoumaru was never one to back down from any challenge, and to have conceded so quickly, he must have done something which had disgraced him utterly. "I would like for you to explain to me what happened." He intoned, his voice void of emotion.

"I cannot." Sesshoumaru replied, his eyes shadowed by his bangs. "If you wish to discuss it further, ask the Higurashis, or ask Akatsune, but do not ask me."

"You are the one I am asking. I will not go to the others. This is a completely private affair, and I would like to have your side of it." Touga said coldly. It was not like Sesshoumaru to avoid a confrontation. His eldest would normally take it head on, in a calculating, yet still reckless manner. Sesshoumaru was absolutely merciless when it came to competition, it was one of his finer points in being a successful businessman.

Sesshoumaru stood wordlessly. After a moment, he raised his eyes to meet his father's once more. "I erred." He said and moved to walk back into the house. He did not need to stand on shrine grounds and rehash his past with his father. He wanted to correct his mistakes.

"Renew the engagement."

Sesshoumaru almost tripped over his own feet. He turned wide, shocked eyes to his father. Before he could reply, he heard an equally shocked gasp from behind him, followed by the sound of falling objects. He spun on his heel to see Higurashi-san and her son staring at them as if they were demons. Bags of groceries surrounded their feet, the contents of which had spilled all over the ground.

"Taisho-san…" Sakuya gasped, tears threatening to fall down her cheeks.

Souta's face was bright red in anger, but he held himself still and silent. It wasn't his place to yell, shout, and make a scene. Only his mother could speak to Taisho-san so easily, and he knew it. He bent quickly to gather to fallen groceries and carried them inside.

"Sakuya!" Touga started. He moved forward quickly, holding the woman still before she could flee into the house, for it looked as if she would try to lock them out. "It's for the best, believe me," he tried to reassure her.

"My baby, my poor baby. I won't let her be hurt again." Sakuya stared up into the Taisho's golden orbs. "I can't let her get hurt again. I'm so sorry, but I have to stop it. I won't let her marry…" She trailed off, but her eyes were on Sesshoumaru.

Looking and feeling out of place, the Taisho leader tilted his head in curt nod. He knew the feelings the Higurashi family harbored toward him, but he had tried to not allow it interfere with his own affairs. He would straighten things out on his own way. If they looked down upon him or if they hated him, he cared not. It was his business what he did, and it was his own business of which he would take care of by himself.

"I understand." Sesshoumaru said coldly, barely regarding the two adults. He strode inside the house purposefully and left the adults alone to try to re-plan out their lives. He had waited long enough. It seemed as if he had spoken with everyone in the household except the one he had really wanted to speak with. He would take care of it now. Kagome had to listen to him. If she didn't…a sharp cold feeling tightened in his chest. He shook it off. He needed to see Kagome. She was the only one who would understand. It was meaningless to explain to anyone else.

-:- -:- -:-

Souta was still in the kitchen, unpacking the groceries when Sesshoumaru walked past. He and his mother had gone out shopping to stock up for the week. Inuyasha had been sent back early from the shopping trip after he had filled too many shopping baskets with ramen. The younger Taisho did not seem to understand that ramen was not a staple food for all people. Though, Souta himself would confess to living off that stuff in his dorm, not that his mother knew that.

Souta ignored the man and continued unpacking the groceries and putting them away. He could only hope that the cold-hearted bastard was leaving and that his mother was talking Taisho-san out of another disaster. It hurt to know how useless he was, and he was technically the "man of the house." He couldn't even protect his sister when she needed it the most. So he would do what he could now, which was, unfortunately, staying calm, staying silent, and putting away groceries. It was all he could do, he thought bitterly.

-:- -:- -:-

No one saw Sesshoumaru ascend the stairs. They were each lost in their own thoughts and worries, all revolving around a single girl who had touched them all deeply.

-:- -:- -:-

Sesshoumaru, remembering the layout of the home easily, found Kagome's room. He turned the knob slowly, pleased to find it unlocked. He eased the door open, as to not make a sound. A shaft of light from the hallway pierced the darkened room not three feet, but Sesshoumaru's sharp eyes could make out the silhouettes in the room easily. He saw Kagome lying in bed against the far wall beneath a window. He slipped inside soundlessly and closed the door behind him.

He was surprised as Kagome shifted and sat up in bed.

-:- -:- -:-

Kagome stirred in her bed. She had been half-aware of when she felt a weight shift on her bed and Shippou leaning down to give her a final kiss goodnight before leaving. Then she remained still on the bed, unsure of what to do. When she saw the door open again, she assumed Shippou had come back, and rose to greet him.

Her eyes widened. _He_ was here. Why? Why was he in her room? What had she done now? Her breath quickened as her body tensed. She clenched the sheets in her hands and brought them up in a flimsy barrier to hide from him.

Sesshoumaru frowned at her reaction. She looked like a frightened rabbit with no place to run. He wanted to comfort her. He wanted to ease her pain so badly, but he knew that at the moment, _he _was the problem. It was a problem he would soon rectify. He crossed to room in easy strides, kneeling before her tense frame and panicked eyes.

"Kagome." He said in a voice so soft he could barely hear it himself.

She didn't reply. He hadn't expected her to.

"Please relax. I just want to talk." Sesshoumaru said, his eyes begging for her to comply.

Kagome shivered. She didn't understand. "I tried…" She whimpered. "I went away. I stayed away. I didn't think you would be here." She brought the covers up to her nose, hiding her eyes with her bangs. She didn't want him to see her shame.

Sesshoumaru felt his heart drop. "No." He breathed. "I take it all back. I would take everything back if I could. Just look at me." His voice was controlled, but his eyes were pleading with her. Kagome didn't move. She didn't look up. She didn't turn to face him.

Impatient, Sesshoumaru tore the blankets from her weak grasp. "Kagome, please."

Kagome yelped as she felt the covers being pulled from her. She trembled and scooted back on her bed, inadvertently cornering herself as she tried to avoid his intense gaze.

Sesshoumaru pressed forward as he watched her move back. He reached to take her hand. "I-"

"_Never touch me! I don't want your filth on me."_

Kagome flinched and fell back. She pulled her arms toward her chest and hunched over.

This was getting him no where. He couldn't have her shaking in fear whenever he tried to approach her. It was his fault, but he was trying to fix it, dammit! Sesshoumaru's form surged forward, and before Kagome could utter a frightened yelp, she found herself tightly encircled by a pair of strong arms. She was crushed to the other's hard form and was effectively immobilized. She froze, her body going completely rigid.

Sesshoumaru held the girl tightly. She felt so right in his arms. If he had his choice, he would shackle her to him permanently and never let her out of his sight again. His actions had caused him nothing but the horrible sense of guilt, regret, and loss. He wanted her to be with him, always. He bent his head to the top of hers and sniffed lightly. No matter what, Kagome had always smelled so nice, and even still she carried with her the gentle scent that could only be Kagome.

She was frail and thin. He could feel her thinness pressed against him. The bones were too prominent in her frame. He was pained at the thought of her starving herself. She was pale and her pallor was that of and ill or dying person, but she still managed to glow, almost ethereally. He admitted to himself that Kagome would always be beautiful in his eyes, no matter what.

Sesshoumaru waited for Kagome to relax. He wouldn't loosen his hold on her until he felt her own body ease. Her shallow breathing worried him, but he knew that he wasn't holding her tightly enough to suffocate her. It was her own panic that caused her erratic breaths.

"Please listen to me." Sesshoumaru whispered into her hair. "Just relax. I only want to talk."

Eventually, Kagome's body slackened in his hold. Though it was not because she felt more at ease in his presence, but rather that her weakened body had fatigued and she now lay limp in his grasp.

"Let me go." Kagome begged hoarsely. "Please."

Undeniably hurt, but not allowing it to show, Sesshoumaru released his hold completely. Kagome slid onto her bed and slouched on the edge. Sesshoumaru moved back on the edge to sit beside her, not near enough to be in contact with her, but close enough to touch.

The two sat in silence. Kagome stared at the ground. Sesshoumaru's gaze focused on Kagome, watching her unwaveringly. Kagome stood abruptly. Keeping her eyes shielded from him, she bowed low. "I'm sorry for disturbing you. I'll take my leave." She said, as if she had been the one intruding.

"No." Sesshoumaru stopped her. "You won't leave. Not until I've had my say." He reached out and grasped her hand, easing her back to the bed. "Just listen. I don't have much to say. I can't explain myself like I thought I could." He began, unsure of how to continue. He knew what he had wanted to do, to say to her, but now, he couldn't find the right words. He reflected over what had happened during the course of the day and he struck upon something he wished to speak with her about. "Your son made something quite clear to me today."

Kagome stiffened at the mention of her son before she realized that he had meant Shippou and not Hoshimaru.

"He had told me that you had forgiven my transgressions." He continued, not noticing her sudden fear at his mentioning of her son. "My actions were beyond unforgivable, and I cannot ask you to forgive them. But I would like to move from that and I ask you what I can do to make it up to you."

Kagome stood completely still. "What…else did Shippou tell you?"

Sesshoumaru hesitated. "He said that you still loved me." He answered straight-forward in an attempt to hide the rapid beating of his own heart. The sudden fear and apprehension which flooded him surprised him. He was panicking over her reaction. It had meant more to him than he had realized. She was everything to him at that moment.

Kagome was silent. She did still love him. She knew she shouldn't love him, she didn't deserve to, but she couldn't help it. She would always love him. Not knowing how to respond, she stiffened in fear of what he expected from her. What did he want her to say? Would he hurt her again? She hunched over, unconsciously trying to hide from his gaze. "Wh-what do you want?" She asked tremulously.

He looked at her sadly. She was so afraid of him, so completely terrified. 'I want you to love me,' he thought. "Forgive me?" He said quietly.

She paused, seeming to have come to a decision. Kagome's hand slipped lifelessly from his own hand. Ever so slowly, as if she were moving through tar, Kagome brought her hands up to her coarse brown sweater. She clasped the bottom hem and brought it up, revealing her pale white flesh to his eyes.

"What are you doing?" Sesshoumaru asked, alarmed.

Not answering him, Kagome removed her shirt and stood with only a bra to cover her chest. Sesshoumaru's eyes widened in horror as he stared at her body. Kagome was thin, thinner than anyone had realized. Her baggy clothing hid almost everything from everybody. Her ribs shown clearly through her skin. Her stomach had a wholly hollow look, and Sesshoumaru was sure that if Kagome had turned around, he would be able to make out the individual vertebrae of her spine.

The most surprising thing about her body though, were the scars. Lines crisscrossed her sides and back. Long, jagged, and star-shaped scars covered her body. It seemed only her stomach was untouched. What was worse, were her arms. On her inner forearms, innumerable lines were drawn. Some were neat parallel lines running across her wrist. There were more sinister lines flowing down her arm, following the veins. Kagome held her arms out to him so Sesshoumaru could see clearly.

She had tried to kill herself, Sesshoumaru realized in a dazed sense of shock and mortification. "I…" He couldn't say anything. What could he possibly say to the woman he loved? To the one woman he had hurt so badly as to drive her to try to end her own life.

In a demeanor that was eerily calm compared to her earlier fear, Kagome displayed to Sesshoumaru the fruits of what he had sown and reaped. "I forgive you." She said softly.

Gold eyes stared incredulous at her. How could anyone forgive the atrocities of which he had caused. He looked up into her face, which she had finally raised to meet his own and all thought came to a screeching halt. All of Kagome's fears had faded from her expression. Her face was now perfectly calm, almost serene. It was a perfect mirror of what his own face had been five years ago, only her eyes lacked life. She peered back at him through dead eyes. Her milk-white body and damaged flesh displayed to him as she stood still as a statue.

Sesshoumaru couldn't look away. He deserved it. He would never look away from her again. Grasping her exposed wrists, he drew her to him. She moved as lifelessly and as limply as an empty body would. She didn't resist him. He almost wished she would fight against, even her trembling in fear was better than this. He had killed something precious inside of her. It was something dear to everyone who knew her. He finally realized he had crushed her unyielding spirit.

Drawing the unresisting girl into his lap, he wrapped his arms securely around her waist. Resting his head on her shoulder, he allowed tears which had not fallen for the whole of his life to slide down his cheeks. He watched as the salty drops landed on Kagome's arms and slide down to wet her pants. He carefully wrapped her in her bed covers so she would not catch cold, and he held her tightly to him, wishing that somehow, she would get better and that she would regain the spark inside her that was her life.

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	6. Chapter Six

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**Chapter Six**

Touga was holding Sakuya gently by the shoulders at a respectable distance from himself. He waited until her tears had ceased falling before he led her silently to the Goshinboku. Like Kagome, Sakuya also had a special connection with the God Tree, and he hoped that by being near it Sakuya would calm down enough to listen to his explanation.

"Sakuya." He said sternly. "It is for the best." He enunciated carefully.

"I don't understand." She replied softly, her head bowed. "I know that you love your sons, but I love my children as well. I have to protect them. I won't let my baby to be hurt again. I'm very sorry Touga-san, but I have decline any advances for Kagome's hand. I won't make her do something she doesn't want to do."

"If she accepts his offer?" Touga questioned, raising a brow.

Sakuya shook her head slowly. "She won't. I know my baby girl. She won't accept it."

Tightening his grasp on her shoulders, Touga waited until Sakuya's gaze met his own. "Sakuya, please don't say anything until I finish. Please, just listen to me. Kagome is unwell."

Sakuya flinched, but kept silent. Touga forged on despite his own bluntness. "I've seen Kagome, and I've seen what you've tried to hide from me. I understand your hesitation in telling me what happened, but you must understand, I see Kagome as my own daughter.

"I first met you and your family personally when Kagome was only four years old. I've been there to witness your whole family grow up. I do not wish to intrude on your family, but I want you to know that I do view your children as my own, as well. I want only the best for them. Right now, what Kagome needs the most is to heal. She won't do that if you keep shielding her from all possible threats. She'll only become more distant and withdrawn from you." He said sternly, seeing realization dawning in the woman's eyes. Then Sakuya blinked, and her gaze softened again. She rolled her shoulders with impressive ease and slipped out of the man's grasp.

"Thank you, Touga-san. I appreciate your efforts, and I'm happy to hear that you share the same feelings as I do about Kagome, but my answer is still no. Please don't pursue this path in helping Kagome. I feel that there is something that Kagome is not telling us, and doing what you plan to do may only aggravate her condition." She offered him a gentle smile, her eyes watery with unshed tears. "I love all my children, and I'll do all I can to protect them. Nothing else is more important to me than their well-being. I know you understand this and you must feel the same way about your own children. So, you'll understand if I ask you to leave this alone." She said softly, in a tone imploring him to agree.

"Sakuya…" He looked at the diminutive woman worriedly. "I can't do that…"

The woman stood silently for a moment, her head bent toward the ground. Unsure as to what to say to the man, she shifted on her feet. Touga watched her motions intently, almost fearing that she would ask him to leave. After a few moments, Sakuya gently raised her eyes to his once more. "Please come inside Taisho-san. It's quite cold out."

Nodding with an expression akin to relief, Touga followed the woman into the house. He knew that for now, Sakuya wanted the discussion closed. They would go inside and make small talk and relieve the tension between them, but then they would reopen their discussion; him persuading her to renew the engagement and her trying to convince him that she could not.

As Sakuya slid the door closed behind them, he laid a hand onto hers. "Sakuya, I do believe we are beyond formalities. You know I don't like repeating myself." He said with a mock sternness.

A smile flashed briefly across her features. "Of course, Touga-san."

If he were thirty years younger, the man would have rolled his eyes. Sometimes, he wished that the woman would be less difficult.

-:- -:- -:-

Kikyou sat in Souta's room, idly straightening out the teen's neglected room as she waited. Shippou kept her waiting but a few minutes before he silently appeared, closing the door almost conspiratorially behind him. "Where's Souta?" He inquired softly.

A half-hearted grin flashed over her features. "He's downstairs. He doesn't need to hear this." Kikyou replied.

Shippou nodded mutely. He sat on Souta's desk, adjacent to the chair in which Kikyou was sitting. It was a habit they had formed some years ago. Kikyou, Shippou, and Souta would all gather in Souta's room in a sort of mini-council. They started it when Kagome had started to become a bit reclusive after her engagement. They had simply wanted to ensure her well-being, unfortunately, they didn't seem to have been very successful.

Still, old habits died hard, so after leaving Kagome, Kikyou checked up on Hoshimaru once more, before slipping into Souta's room. She knew that Shippou would check the room before leaving. It would give Shippou a chance to explain things in private.

Not knowing how to start, Shippou stared at the carpet and scuffed the heel of his foot.

"Is he _his_ child?" Kikyou asked abruptly.

Startled, Shippou whipped his head to face Kikyou, who was staring at the carpet herself.

"Yeah. He's Sesshoumaru's son."

Kikyou nodded in acceptance. She had figured it so when she first saw him, but she wanted confirmation. It seemed to make things much more concrete. "She never said anything."

Shippou shrugged. "Why would she? She never even told me until I found her in the hospital. Then again, she didn't exactly tell me that either. She was found going into premature labor in the streets." He said almost nonchalantly, however bitterness laced his tone.

Kikyou paled. "You didn't know either? I thought that you had taken her away."

Shippou shook his head, his ginger bangs swaying with the motion. "I went out to find her. It took months since Kagome had been determined to take only the most deserted and rural routes. I only found her when she was checked into a hospital. She had been found literally on the streets, on the Kumo side of Japan."

"What! The _Kumo_ side?" Kikyou stared with wide incredulous eyes. "How did she get so far?" It was well known that modern Japan had been divided by the three major corporations. The Higurashi Shrine straddled the border between the Akatsune and Taisho regions. To have reached Kumo land, Kagome would have had to crossed both regions. "How did she do it alone?"

Another shrug was her answer. "Kagome can be very strong when she puts her mind to something. However, that strength was working against us that time. I can only hope to keep a closer eye on her this time."

"I see." Kikyou's gaze returned to the carpet, studying the fibers with false intensity. "So, when do you plan on leaving?"

"Dawn or sooner. I'm going to take my private jet. Once it's ready, we'll leave."

"I see. Would you mind if I allowed the others to stay the night. They won't be awake to see her leave, but I'm sure it would comfort them to be able to at least stay a little closer to her tonight."

Shippou tilted his head, pondering her request. The more people there were, the more of a chance there was that they would be caught. At the same time, he understood how much Kagome was loved by all of them. He would at least, give them the hope of seeing her, spending one last night together. It was cruel and selfish of him to want to seclude her away, but he truly believed that it was the best course. "Sure. You'll explain to them, won't you?" The redhead asked her almost pleadingly.

"Yes, of course." Kikyou stood suddenly and wrapped her arms around the younger boy. His lean body stiffened before he returned the embrace. "Take good care of her."

"I will."

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Touga was sorely disappointed at his failure of trying to sway Sakuya's decision. She was adamant in her determination to keep refuse Kagome's engagement. He had his own reasons for wanting to renew the engagement, and Sakuya had her reasons to disallow it. In the end, they had reached a stalemate.

Though Touga, still wished that the engagement be brought to Kagome's attention. He understood Sakuya's determination; she didn't want her daughter to get hurt again. However, it was Touga's observation that Kagome had suffered so much under Sesshoumaru's poor treatment of her. He had thought that it would have been best if Kagome would at least see that not only did Sesshoumaru not think poorly of her at all, but that he desperately wanted her back.

Still, Sakuya had not wanted to risk further harm to Kagome. Understanding her point of view, Touga accepted her decision for the meantime, and took his leave.

On his way out, Touga noticed that Sesshoumaru's car was still parked in the lot by the base of the stairs, but he had not seen his son inside the house. Curious, he decided to rent a hotel room nearby so he could at least observe the happenings at the shrine. His home was across town, and he preferred to stay a bit closer, just this one night. First meetings generally were the most fragile and could lead to volatile reactions. He hoped that his sons would behave better than what he had already seen. He wanted to keep closer tabs on the Higurashi family. He held them very dearly, and considered them his own family. He wouldn't want to hurt them again, even indirectly.

-:- -:- -:-

Inuyasha, Sango, and Miroku were a bit surprised by Kikyou's invitation for them to stay the night, but they happily agreed. The living room was promptly transformed to accommodate them. Four futons were rolled out on the floor in pairs. It was decided that the girls would sleep side-by-side, and the guys would sleep across from them. The arrangement was more for Sango's sake than anything else for as she carefully put it, "Miroku has the worst sleeping habits if he's next to a girl." Realizing that she spoke from personal experience, Inuyasha and Kikyou readily agreed that the guys and girls would sleep separately, much to Miroku's chagrin.

Souta and Shippou had already been tucked in, though the two teenage boys had insisted that they were old enough to decide their own bedtime. Kikyou and Sango almost giggled as Inuyasha watched with a huge grin on his face as the two were securely fastened into their respective bed and futon in Souta's room. Kikyou gave them a wink as she left, but only Shippou would understand it.

Sango flopped happily down onto the futon and cuddled a fluffy pillow to her chest. She giggled suddenly. "It's almost like sleepovers when we were little, ne?"

Beside her, Kikyou sat down, hugging a pillow as well. "Yeah, I kind of miss those days." Somewhat more light-hearted at the thought that Kagome was going to be alright, even if she wasn't with them, Kikyou tried to relax and join in the with the more cheerful mood of her companions. They all had decided that moping would accomplish little, so they would wait until tomorrow to talk things out with Kagome.

"Me too."

Across from them, Inuyasha plopped onto his own futon. "Keh! Your girly sleepovers weren't so great. Now, when it was just guys, that was awesome. We stayed up all night eating ice cream and popcorn, and having pillow fights." He said with a superior tone.

Sango and Kikyou shared a look, then stared at the Taisho with eyebrows raised. "You called our sleepovers 'girly'?" They chorused.

Inuyasha flushed immediately. "I didn't mean it like that! I mean our pillow fights were real fights! Where we destroyed furniture and stuff!" He defended quickly.

"And that's why you aren't allowed anymore sleepovers, Inuyasha." Miroku quipped while sitting on his futon beside Inuyasha, with a sigh. "Personally, I much prefer the co-ed sleepovers. There are so many more activities one can do when the gathering isn't mono-genderic." He said, his voice low and insinuating.

A moment later found the man face first in his futon. "Men." Sango hissed under her breath as she went to retrieve the pillow that had gently sent said man into a peaceful slumber.

"We're not all bad, ya know." Inuyasha said in defense of his gender.

"No, I suppose you're right." Kikyou replied thoughtfully. Sango shot her a suspicious look at her tone.

"Damn straight." Inuyasha nodded and crossed his arms.

"Shippou and Souta are perfect gentlemen."

Inuyasha face-faulted. "Hey! That's not what I meant!" He yelled.

"Shhhh, Inuyasha, there are some people in this house who are trying to sleep." Kikyou chastised her fiancé.

Huffing maturely, Inuyasha fell on his side and pulled the blankets over his head. "Fine!" He pouted, his voice muffled by the cotton covers.

The girls snickered.

"He's really cute like that. Just like a kid." Sango grinned.

Kikyou gave an uncharacteristic snort. "Try being his fiancée and find out how cute you'll find it after a week."

The covers were thrown back as Inuyasha shot upward into a sitting position. "What's that supposed to mean!" He demanded. When the girls just rolled their eyes, he flipped back onto his futon with a huff.

Giggling, Sango and Kikyou tucked themselves into their own futons after turning the lights off.

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An hour had passed before Miroku stirred. He shifted and propped himself up on his elbows. Checking to make sure that the girls were indeed asleep, he nudged Inuyasha, who grunted at the movement.

"Wha..?" He slurred. "You didn't mistake me for a girl during your night-groping, did you?" Inuyasha asked, trying to blink the sleep from his eyes.

"Kami, no. I think that would cause me trauma to grope a guy." Miroku muttered. "I wanted to ask you, did you see Sesshoumaru leave?"

Inuyasha tilted his head. Thinking about it, he couldn't recall Sesshoumaru actually walking out the door or saying that he was leaving at all. Not that his half-brother normally announced his leaving, but it was odd. He hadn't seen Sesshoumaru since their father had asked to speak with him in private. Inuyasha shook his head, causing his friend to frown. "He probably left with dad, though. Don't worry about it." Inuyasha whispered, keeping his voice low, as to not wake up the girls.

Sango shifted, rolling onto her stomach. The guys stilled. Inuyasha had realized that Miroku must have had a good reason to wait for the girls to fall asleep before asking. He had not wanted them to be worrying needlessly. After all, those two were of the most protective of Kagome. When they didn't show any signs of waking up, Inuyasha continued. "We were all over the house before we went to bed. I didn't see him anywhere, and I seriously doubt that he went to bathroom for four hours. He's probably at home crying his eyes out cuz Kagome's here and he's not." Inuyasha rambled. He was babbling as Miroku's stare became more and more incredulous.

"I'm sure." He said softly. "Well, sorry for waking you up. Thanks." Miroku rolled over and pulled the covers to his chin.

"Keh. Was that all." He muttered to himself, wondering why Miroku had bothered worrying at all. Sesshoumaru was probably at home, he convinced himself, before falling asleep again.

Sango's eyes snapped open when the even breathing of the guys reached her ears. 'Sesshoumaru?' It was funny, she had decided not to think of him in her anger towards the man. He had obviously hurt Kagome in ways that no one had told her about, but she had forgotten about him until Miroku had mentioned it.

Being the fiance of a renowned hentai such as Miroku had given her a sixth sense at his movements. As soon as the man had shifted, she had woken up, but had kept still, wondering what he had wanted. After hearing their brief conversation she realized herself, none of them had seen Sesshoumaru for a while. Where was he?

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Sesshoumaru lay on his side, his arms secured firmly around Kagome's body. He spooned her form to his and gently nuzzled the top of her head. Kagome's breaths came out rapid and shallow, with no sign of slowing down and relaxing, yet Sesshoumaru refused to loosen his grasp. He wouldn't let her go ever again.

He pressed her form harder against his and tightened his grasp, somehow trying to reassure her, but her body remained limp and unresponsive, her breathing light and quick. She hadn't said a word in the few hours since she had shown him her scars. She hadn't even moved except when he had moved her.

He had tried to get her to speak, so do something. He had spoken softly, treated her as gently as he could, he had done everything he had known to do to try to reassure her of intentions, but she didn't seem to understand, or she was unwilling to understand him. In the end, he had simply lain down and curled her body against his own. If she wouldn't respond to him, he would just have to accept her being near him for now. There wasn't much else he could do.

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Cold. It was cold, so very cold. Inside her chest, she felt numb; the chilling numb that she usually felt before her skin heated and tears would fall, but they didn't this time. It was just cold.

The chill slid down to her stomach and settled. It felt like she had swallowed something terrible, but she couldn't bring herself to throw it up. She simply lay there, unmoving. Her eyes stared blankly and blinking only rarely.

A heavy arm restrained her movement. She barely registered it. She was waiting. The room had darkened, the moon hidden behind thick clouds and no longer able to illuminate the room through the thinly veiled windows. Kagome waited for the breath at her neck to deepen and even out, for the grasp around her body to slacken, and for mostly, the feeling that she knew she would get when Sesshoumaru fell asleep.

It would be the only time Kagome felt somewhat safe. Unknown to most people, Sesshoumaru was an intensely heavy sleeper. It was assumed he slept lightly, since he was prone to awakening at the slightest of noises or movements, but it was an illusion he upheld through many catnaps. When Sesshoumaru truly fell asleep, though it did not happen often, nothing short of a nuclear blast could wake him up. It was one of the many traits Hoshimaru had inherited from his father.

Kagome blinked slowly. She felt an easing of her shoulders, as if tension were rolling away from her. She exhaled. Her back was pressed firmly against Sesshoumaru's chest. She could easily feel the rhythm of his breathing. She shifted slightly and almost had the breath knocked out of her. Sesshoumaru's arm constricted so tightly and so suddenly around her midsection, that the air had been forcibly expelled from her. She froze for a moment, afraid she had miscalculated, but he made no other movements.

Gingerly, she tried to lift up Sesshoumaru's arm. Even unconscious, the man's grip was strong, and it required more than a little effort to remove the appendage from around her body. She slid from his hold and watched briefly as his arms had tried to regain the semblance of clasping something like before, but only found empty space. He seemed to grimace in his sleep. Realizing that Sesshoumaru must have been disgusted to have been holding her, even if he had been sleeping, she hurried away from him. Kagome went to her desk and pulled out a stationary. She hastily scribbled out two notes, slipping one onto the pillow beside Sesshoumaru's head, and taking the other one with her.

Kagome delivered her aecond note and slipped soundlessly out of the house. Everyone was tired, whether it was the stress or the day, or the soothing nostalgic feeling one go from being within Higurashi Shrine, everyone slept soundly, and so it was that not a single soul within the shrine noticed when Kagome crept out of the house, across the grounds, and disappeared down the steps.

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Slowly, golden eyes cracked to meet the sparse light of the rising sun filtering in through curtained windows. The sun had barely begun to rise, but with his sensitive eyes, it was already too bright. Silently grumbling to himself, Sesshoumaru rolled onto his side and threw his arm around air. Grasping at nothing where something should have been, Sesshoumaru sat up quickly.

At that moment, before Sesshoumaru could fully understand the situation, Shippou soundless opened the door, and froze. Golden eyes meeting emerald, the two men stared at each other in shock and surprise. The sound of the door clicking shut behind Shippou shattered their standstill.

"You! Where's Kagome!" Shippou demanded, rage and fear filling his features.

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened. He placed his hand on the mattress to push himself off the bed when he heard a crunching sound. Looking down, he saw a slip of white paper crushed beneath his fingers. A sense of dread instantly sent his stomach plummeting as he slowly lifted the paper to his eyes.

"What is that?" Panicking would do him no good, Shippou knew this, but still, he couldn't contain the emotion. Every motion the man made caused his hair to stand on end. Now Sesshoumaru was staring at a slip of white paper with a bewildered expression on his face.

"No…" The tortured noise came out of Sesshoumaru's throat, sounding like a strangled moan. "She can't…"

Fear dictating his every move, Shippou leapt forward, feeling like his heart had stopped, and snatched the note from Sesshoumaru's limp grasp. His emerald eyes faded into a dull tarnished cobalt as he read Kagome's neat handwriting: _I'm sorry._

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	7. Chapter Seven: Intermission

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**Chapter Seven: Intermission-The First Date**

Kagome made a face. She wasn't exactly happy with the arrangement, but it was something that her mom thought would be best for the family, and especially Shippou. Her mother had informed her earlier that she was to be engaged to the eldest son of Taisho-san. To say that the announcement was greeted with a small amount of shock would be quite the understatement. Kagome had been flabbergasted. But her mother had patiently explained to her the reasoning behind it. As much as Kagome did not understand, she knew that it was not a financial or political arrangement. Sakuya would never 'sell' her daughter. Instead, it was merely a forced introduction to push Sesshoumaru in the direction of marriage. If both parties found the arrangement too disagreeable, then it could easily be dissolved. Unfortunately for them, Touga and Sakuya were quite aware of the pride of their children. Neither would capitulate to the other. Instead, they would try to make the other back out, so it would leave them blameless.

With her limited knowledge mind, Kagome had decided to approach the arrangement as optimistically as possible, and quickly found all her hopes shattered. Did her intended have to be such a jackass? Kagome had met Inuyasha, but couldn't really remember the elder brother since she hadn't really seen him since she was seven. She couldn't remember much about him at all, so the two scheming parents had decided that it would be best if the two of them went out to dinner to get to know each other better. Unfortunately, Taisho-san had arranged the meeting, so now the couple sat uncomfortably in one of the classiest restaurants in Tokyo. It was all formal. Needless to say, Kagome was feeling like a fish out of water, but Sesshoumaru seemed right at home in a crowd full of stuck-up snobs.

Sesshoumaru eyed the girl warily. She was such…a girl! There was nothing mature or womanly about her at all! The way she sat, the way she stood, her childish pouting, even her tone of voice! She had no control over herself and was as wild as his half-brother. She could at least take the situation with a little dignity. His eyes narrowed. As distasteful as it was, he still would be the honorable man and marry the wench, even if he hated the situation as much as he already hated the girl. "If you would kindly unscrunch your face, I'm sure you would appear much more attractive than a mud-covered eight year old." He said blandly.

Stormy blue-grey eyes widened. "WHAT! It's better than looking like a pompous pretty-boy. I'll bet you spend three hours in front of the mirror every morning applying make-up to make sure your charmingly effeminate features are mirror-shatteringly perfect!"

Sesshoumaru scowled. "Pray tell, wench, how old are you?" He demanded coldly.

"'Wench'?" Kagome's jaw clenched. She growled under her breath. Then eyeing the attention they were receiving from the other restaurant patrons, she held back her outburst. She sat back in her seat stiffly and drank from a glass of ice water trying to calm herself.

As much as she wanted to take the water, pour it over Mr. Self-absorbed's head, then smash the glass onto his thick skull until the man no longer moved, she figured it probably wouldn't do to make a scene. Still, did the first words out his mouth have to be insulting to her?

"_So you are the wench I am to marry?" _

Just who did the asshole think he was, ok, so he was the heir to only one of the biggest industries of all Japan but…she was getting side-tracked.

Kagome gently set down the glass and shot Sesshoumaru a dirty look, which was promptly ignored. He was far too amused at her attempt at controlling herself. She was _such_ a child.

"Twenty-two." She muttered.

"Good. Then I cannot be accused of pedophilia when we are forced to be seen together in public." He replied, taking a sip of his own water with a superior air.

"WHAT THE HELL!" She screeched, standing up quickly.

"Your mouth is as foul as Inuyasha's." He grimaced distastefully. "Perhaps once we are wed, you should remain away from my bastard sibling. His terrible manners seemed to have rubbed off on you." He observed calmly.

"That's it!" Kagome chucked the water glass at the man's head and spun on her heel, retreating quickly out of the restaurant.

With reflexes borne of pure, natural athleticism, Sesshoumaru caught the thrown glass easily, not spilling a drop of the iced liquid. He raised a brow at the retreating woman before raising his hand to alert their server. "Check, please."

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	8. Chapter Eight

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**Chapter Eight: Four Years Into the Past Part One**

Jealousy was an ugly emotion. It ravaged and took over common sense, often when diplomacy was a most needed asset. Luckily enough, Kagome was never overrun by such an emotion. She was too kind and innocent to fall prey to its dark clutches, though many others were not. Unfortunately, sometimes, a person can be too naive and too trusting to realize that perhaps, they should not have so full-heartedly taken all things at face value.

-:- -:- -:-

Kagome watched Yura flirt openly with her fiancé. It didn't bother her in the slightest since she knew that he did not return his secretary's affections. Perhaps that wasn't true. It was getting annoying, those victorious smirks Yura would oh so subtly flash in Kagome's direction, as if she had won Sesshoumaru over. Kagome rolled her eyes. If she had not been forced into the situation, she would have welcomed Yura's advances on "her man". But, she and Sesshoumaru had been roped into the engagement, and thus obligated to 'get to know each other better'. That lead to them eventually accepting one another, no matter how minutely. The downside was now they were slightly, just slightly mind you, actually caring about each other, to an extent.

Six months ago, Kagome would have readily allowed anyone, no matter how bitchy they were, and even if they were a guy, to take Sesshoumaru off her hands. Sesshoumaru himself would have agreed vice versa. It was simply because, six months ago, they found each other's presence to be absolutely unbearable. However, time passed, and as people are want to, even unwillingly, the pair had become somewhat attached to each other. Now they simply 'put up' with one another.

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After many attempts to disengage the clingy female from his person, Sesshoumaru shot his fiancée a warning glance, glaring down the laughter in her eyes. His glare promised her a quick death if she did not correct Yura's misinterpretation of their relationship.

Mouthing the words "you owe me," she strode over to Sesshoumaru's form and looped her arms around his waist, tucking her head in the crook of his neck. "Sesshou-kun?" She asked innocently, completely ignoring the woman who was glaring daggers at her 'interruption.' "Can we go now? I'm hungry."

Rolling his eyes at her pathetic excuse, but snatching upon it anyways, he twisted rudely from his secretary. "Yes, we must get going now." He said robotically, trying to blot out the stupidity of the situation from his mind. "Have the Tsuki Tech merger papers on my desk by Monday." He said stoically as he strode out, Kagome still latched around his waist.

Once the doors leading to the floor of his office had closed behind them, Kagome instantly disentangled herself from him, muttering "I feel icky."

Meanwhile, Sesshoumaru raised a superior brow and eyeballed his fiancée with mocking contempt. "'I'm hungry'?" He repeated mockingly. "Childish."

Kagome glared back at him. "You shut up. It got you out of there, didn't it?"

"I would have much rather fended for myself if I had known of your feeble excuse-making skills."

Kagome huffed and crossed her arms, pouting in an unconsciously childishly manner. Secretly, Sesshoumaru found it cute and almost endearing, but he would never voice it aloud. Instead, he simply sneered at her immature actions. "If you have finished your little tantrum, I believe we should get some lunch." He said, while opening the door for Kagome.

Surprised by his unexpected genteel action, Kagome gaped. Sesshoumaru was sorely tempted to lower his head and discover how her petal soft lips tasted beneath his own, but held back. He simply smirked and guided her out the door to his car.

The couple stopped at a casual diner. They had not gone to a formal restaurant since the debacle of their first date. It didn't matter much to Kagome though. She much preferred casual settings to the formality of high living. She was grateful to the Taisho for taking them to her preferred level of eating establishments, and didn't much care if he did for her sake or the sake of salvaging his reputation, lest she make another scene.

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It was when the pair were leaving the diner when it happened. If Kagome hadn't been so startled, she would have found it funny. She had just been pondering the peculiarity of Sesshoumaru's sudden 'kindness' when she was bowled over by a masked man, clutching a bag to his chest. A thief! The man's eyes were wide and panicked. Fear dripped off him in torrents. In his adrenaline haze he dropped his bag and snatched up Kagome to use as a hostage. He dragged her into the diner just as the sounds of the sirens approached them.

The other occupants of the diner cleared out quickly as the thief brandished a gun at them. The owner, cook, and a waitress remained behind, trying to calm the man down in to releasing Kagome. Outside, Sesshoumaru was fighting against the current of fleeing diner patrons in an attempt to make it inside the diner to his fiancée. "OUT OF MY WAY!" He roared at the terrified people. They parted for him suddenly, as the immediate fear of his wrath belied their fear of getting shot by the nervous man inside the diner at the moment. He made it as far as laying his hand on the door handle when another hand jerked him backward. He whirled around angrily, seeking the one that would deter him from his goal.

A hard eyed officer stared at the intimidating Taisho coolly. Though a full head shorter than the CEO, the officer maintained his composure in front of the obviously enraged young man. "Sir, if you would please step aside, we can take control of the situation. We'll take the utmost care in seeing to that your girlfriend will come out unharmed."

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes. The officer was simply doing his job. But there was something about the man Sesshoumaru didn't like. "She is not my 'girlfriend.'" He hissed lowly, his golden eyes sliding down to the officer's nametag. "But you had best see to it that she does 'come out _unharmed_,' Officer Tanaka." He stepped back from the entrance and watched as the other officers surrounded the building. His eyes could peer through the lightly tinted windows of the diner, clearly seeing what was going on inside.

The employees of the diner had remained within the building, trying to help the hostage. Kagome was being held, the robber's arm draped across her neck and chest holding her shoulder, pressing her against his chest.

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Kagome could hear his wild frantic breaths as he panted wildly against her ear. She winced at his foul breath that blew across her. Kami, it was rancid and clung to her like high humidity. But as far as she could tell, he was far from malicious, just desperate and scared. Taking a calming breath herself, she laid her hands on his restraining arm, making him jump. So far she had been unresisting except for the tilt of her head away from his breath, so her movements had startled him. She ran her fingers up his arm. "It's ok." She said soothingly. "Don't be afraid."

"Sh-shut up!" The man cried, waving his gun erratically at the diner employees who were still in the area. "Y-you be qu-quiet!" He tried to command his hostage. Somewhere, along the way of dragging her into the diner, and fighting the crowds of diner patrons, he had lost his mask.

"It's alright." Kagome said softly. "We're not going to hurt you. And I can see from here that you're gun isn't loaded."

"W-what?" The man's eyes widened. "What are you talking about! Of course it's loaded! It's..." He seemed desperate in his belief that the gun was loaded and working. "I have to-!"

"Even if it was loaded, the safety's on. If you shoot that gun, the only thing coming out of it is a clicking noise." Kagome cut him off evenly. "Now, calm down." He wasn't a typical robber. There was something amiss about him. He was too jittery. Remembering her 'capture' closely, she realized that it wasn't until after he had seen Sesshoumaru that he had grabbed her. Was he gauging hostage options? No, there was more to it. "Why don't you tell us why you're holding me hostage?"

The man's eyes flicked around wildly. Beads of sweat flowed down his bare face. His appearance was gaunt with wild brown hair. "I have to!" He barked out, clearly frightened.

Kagome's brows furrowed. "Why?"

"He'll hurt them! He said I had to do this!" The man cried, still whipping around a semi-harmless firearm.

Ah, so that was it. This man was threatened into doing this. "Ok, calm down." She soothed. "It's alright. I understand. I'll cooperate, but first, I want you to calm down, and put down your gun. You don't have to let go of it, just make it so that it's non-threatening, ok?"

"You'll cooperate? You promise?" He asked, eyes wide with hope.

Kagome nodded sincerely.

The man complied, almost relieved that someone was in control of the situation.

When the man was calmed, Kagome looked up to the kind diner employees who had stuck around, trying to help her out. She flashed them a look of gratitude before kindly asking them to leave. They were hesitant, but Kagome assured them that she would be fine, and they would get this situation straightened out. The 'thief' himself remained strangely silent throughout the exchange. Eventually, the employees conceded, and left, but not before wishing her good luck.

Once they were alone, Kagome turned to look her captor in the eye, and smiled. He was still holding onto her, but his grip had lessened some what. "So, where do we go from here?" She asked innocently.

"Out back." He muttered. "He said that I had to take you out back, and give you to him."

"We're surrounded by cops, shielded by only a piece of transparent glass. Everyone will see you. Are you sure you want to take that risk of leaving the building?" Kagome asked. She didn't want to have to take unnecessary risks, but at the same time, she didn't want the man to get hurt.

"He's got my brothers, I don't have a choice!"

"Alright then. Lead the way, I won't struggle."

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Tanaka watched the scene with studious eyes. The employees had left, and the hostage seemed complacent. It was almost too easy. Then the theif proceeded to move to the back, taking his hostage with him. She went without a struggle. He bent down to his mic. "Target is on the move." He reported to the other officers. "Repeat, target is on the move. He's taking his hostage with him and seems to be moving toward the rear exit. Proceed with caution, I shall engage from the rear."

Shooting Sesshoumaru a wary glance, Tanaka hurried to the back.

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Sesshoumaru paid little attention to Tanaka. He was focused on the movements of the man within the diner, the man who was currently holding his fiancée. He noticed that she never once seemed to struggle, but rather she spoke calmly to the man. She now seemed in control of the situation, yet he knew that the officers would not observe it as he had. They did not know Kagome well enough. To them, she was just another incompetent citizen. He would have to intervene.

He made his way to the rear of the diner.

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Kagome was surprised. The back of the diner in fact lead to a hidden alleyway that was absent of any officers. She found it strange since she was sure that she had heard the order for all entrances and exits to have been secured.

The 'robber' sighed in relief. "Just like he said." He muttered.

Kagome gave him a puzzled look. So, he was supposed to meet someone back here, perhaps? Either way, she needed to get them both out of here. The first step, was to get him to trust her a little more. "What's you name?" She asked, making idle chatter. She didn't expect an answer, but had decided to just start talking and maybe he'd relax some more.

"Ryoukan." He answered. His eyes darted about the alleyway, searching.

Slightly startled, she nodded. "My name's Kagome."

"I know." Another abrupt, concise response.

She paused for a moment. "You were hired to kidnap me, and make it look like a hostage situation?"

"Yes." His grip tightened on her for a moment, fearing that his admission would cause her to flee, but Kagome made no move.

"Why?" She wondered aloud.

"Because he's a disposable unit." A sharp voice answered coldly.

Ryoukan all but leapt into the air, his arm constricting about Kagome so tightly that it forced the air from her lungs. He spun about wildly, spying another figure leering at him from the shadows.

"Hand her over, Ryoukan." The other man ordered. His voice made Kagome shiver. That man was evil, she could feel it. Was he the one who was forcing Ryoukan to do this?

"Goshinkishi!" Ryoukan shouted, surprised. Then, "my brothers! I need to know they're safe!"

"Hand her over." The shadowed man repeated, the tone icy.

The poor man trembled. "My brothers! Tell me that they've been freed." He shrieked, fear lacing every syllable.

The other man tutted. "So noisy. Mustn't attract attention to ourselves." He murmured. A silenced gunshot rang out.

Ryoukan fell heavily onto Kagome, his arms sliding limply to his sides. She gasped and staggered under his weight as Ryoukan groaned. His eyes glassed over, staring at her. "I'm sorry." He grunted out, tipping to one side and clutching his chest. A crimson stain had blossomed across his shirt. Kagome held the unfortunate man up, disregarding the fact that his blood was smearing onto her own clothes.

"Ryoukan? Oh Kami, no…" Kagome paled. "You monster." She hissed, glaring at the shadowed man angrily. "He was harmless! Why did you do that?" She clutched at Ryoukan, knowing that she was the only one who would mourn him. His brothers had probably already been killed. The shadowed man seemed the type to make empty promises.

"Target struggled, his gun misfired." The man said calmly, stepping out of the shadows. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped down the silenced gun he held and switched it with the one Ryoukan had held. "That's all the reports will say. Don't worry your pretty little head about it."

Kagome recognized the firearm he removed from Ryoukan as police issue. She looked into the face of the man who was now holstering his weapon. It was the officer from the front of the diner! The one who had been talking with Sesshoumaru. She noted his nametag. "Officer Tanaka! What are you doing?"

He ignored her question, grabbing her arm roughly. "Let's go, we need to move before they discover that something is amiss."

"I'm not going anywhere!" Kagome shrieked, kicking Tanaka in the shins. "Let me go!"

The man merely grunted, but kept his hold. He whipped out his handcuffs and skillfully cuffed her hands behind her back, then slammed her into a wall. "Shut up." He hissed dangerously into her ear. He used one arm to press against her back, forcing her front into the wall painfully. He stood behind her, gripping her cuffed arms brutally. "If I weren't under orders to bring you to the boss unharmed, I wouldn't mind shooting a few holes into you before I turned you over to him. Now move!" He shoved her ahead of him roughly.

She stumbled. "Bastard." She gritted out. "You won't get away with this."

Tanaka chuckled. "Foolish bitch. You should worry more about yourself. You're not going to a happy place. And believe me, once you get there, your beloved fiancé will soon be following."

Kagome stiffened. "What does he have to do with anything?"

"Everything, my dear." Tanaka gripped the back of the collar of Kagome's shirt, pulling so that it constricted about her throat. "I would like your cooperation in this though. It would make things so much more pleasant." He gave a mocking smile.

"I'll never cooperate!"

The man swiftly drew his gun and swung the butt of it against her skull. He hit her hard enough to break the skin and cause pain, but not enough to render her unconscious.

Kagome cried out as she was struck, falling to the ground.

Tanaka crouched in front of her. "You know, I heard you have a younger brother, an older sister, a mother, and a grandfather, all living in a quaint little shrine, right here in Tokyo." He said conversationally, looking thoughtful.

"A right, mighty shame it would be if something awful happened to them. It would probably end up in the reports as an unsolved case though. There are so _many_ unsolved cases every year. Your family's murder case would probably just go into a box and collect dust in the precinct archives." He grinned wickedly, enjoying the tortured expression that crossed her face. He laughed maliciously. "You are too simple, Kagome. Always looking out for others. It will only cause you pain you know." He hauled her to her feet by one cuffed arm. The cuffs bit into her wrists, drawing blood.

Silent tears tracked themselves down her cheeks. "Leave them alone! I don't care if you sick bastards take me, but you leave them all out of this!"

"Are you going to be a good girl and cooperate then?"

Something cold plummeted to her stomach. Kagome felt sick, but she wouldn't put her family into any danger if she could help it. She nodded.

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Sesshoumaru had stalked to the back of the diner, but not before meeting with much resistance.

A line of fresh-faced young officers had come racing toward him as he tried to make his way to the back. Adamantly, they pushed him backwards, trying to stave him off from the 'danger'. They had been ordered to relocate to the front as their target was on the move.

Sesshoumaru found it highly odd as he distinctly recalled Officer Tanaka ordering the men to the rear. Growling in frustration, he broke through the line of young officers, ignoring their shouts. He had to get to Kagome. There was something horribly wrong with her 'hostage situation.'

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Tanaka rammed the butt of his gun into her cheek, sending Kagome sprawling to the floor. "That was for struggling, bitch." He spat. He reached down and snatched up her arm, twisting it painfully behind her. She gasped and bit her cheek, refusing to scream for him. He only grinned.

In a practiced move, Tanaka swung Kagome's arm out from his hold, twisting in at an unnatural angle, and pulling with brutal force. Because of the handcuffs, more pressure was exerted on her limbs, and her whole body bent strangely. There was a sickening pop. He took great pleasure as her face contorted and a shriek found its way past her lips. He slammed her into the wall by her dislocated shoulder, smirking as a familiar crunching sound followed by her scream of agony filled the alleyway. "And that, my dear, was for kicking me. Now, we shall go, ne?"

He pulled her toward him by her uninjured arm, fully ignoring the white of bone poking out from her other arm. Kagome was dizzy with pain, barely registering her abuser. All she knew what pain and fear in that moment. Her body trembled with fear of his touch and his strength. He had broken her bones so easily.

She gave a hacking cough. Her chest heaved weakly. There was pain with every breath she took. Stumbling, she tried to keep up with the madman of a police officer as he forcefully dragged her behind him.

She made it two agonized steps before collapsing onto the man. He only snarled at her weakness. "Stupid bitch," he muttered before looping and arm around her middle to drag her.

Tanaka glared at the woman hatefully. How useless she was. He didn't understand her importance, but his boss thought she was valuable. However, all he saw was an annoyance. Sure she was pretty, but so were the girls under his boss's employ. In fact, they were prettier than she. So, why was she necessary? Was it because she was that Taisho's girlfriend? He didn't care. So far, his number one priority was to get her to his boss, relatively unscathed.

"You know," he said, almost cheerfully. "You're only a tool. We all are, all tools of big business. Taisho is using you for status. Just think of how the headlines would read, 'Billionare Giant seeks hand of penniless Shrinemaiden.' Ha! The public would eat it up. Once he's done with you, he'll drop you like a stone, if he hasn't already." He chuckled. "Just think of all the other girls that are throwing themselves at him as we speak. He's probably banging a good lot of them while he's working oh so hard bringing home the bacon at the office. You're much better off coming to the boss, with me. He might not treat you like that Taisho, but I'm sure it'll hurt a lot less when he dumps you when you're finished."

A wild smile was plastered across Tanaka's lips as he felt Kagome stiffen at his words. He wasn't exactly lying, as that was what he believed. But at the same time, having that heart-shattering news delivered so frankly to her was sure to make her more complacent for his delivery. He was convinced that, no matter how the Taisho and the girl acted, they did care for each other quite a bit.

A slip of white slid into his vision. Before Tanaka had a chance to register the white, he was sent reeling.

Sesshoumaru didn't bother to look at the fallen officer. His attention focused on the woman he cradled gently in his arms. Silent tears had streaked down her face, but she did her best to not cry out. She was holding her left arm at an awkward angle, and it sickened him to see that it had been both dislocated and broken. A white hot anger coursed through him as he held her trembling body against his own.

He noted that she was going numb with shock. Gingerly, Sesshoumaru lay Kagome on the ground, propping her up against the wall as comfortable as he could make her. He strode purposefully over toward Tanaka, who was just regaining his feet. Tanaka glared maliciously, swiping at the blood that was dribbling down his chin.

Tanaka spat, mildly surprised to see a glint of white from one of his own teeth go bouncing along the alley floor. "Heh, fancy meeting you back here, Taisho-san. And somehow, I had it in my head that you were a good law abiding citizen. Or is that just what you want the public to know?" He grinned, eyes flashing madly. "Look at you now, raising your hand against an officer of the law!"

Sesshoumaru ignored his taunts. His eyes only hardened at the man who had dared to harm what was his. His fists clenched at his sides. Eyes narrowed to golden slits, he closed in on the grinning madman. Tanaka only stood, swaying slightly. He gave an off-balanced lunge, which Sesshoumaru dodged easily. The Taisho was on Tanaka before the officer could blink, delivering a swift kick to the head, knocking him unconscious. He toyed with the idea of snapping the man's neck. He could easily claim 'self-defense,' but he opted against it.

He would much rather discover the person whom Tanaka worked under, and that was much easier found if Tanaka was alive. So he left the unconscious man in a pile of garbage and sprinted back to Kagome.

She was drifting in and out of consciousness.

He scooped her tiny body against his, rocking her gently as she shivered. He ran to the front, alerting the other young officers of what had transpired and called for an ambulance. They now rest on the curb, awaiting the arrival of the paramedics.

"Se-Sesshoumaru?" Kagome asked uncertainly, her blue eyes teary and unfocused.

"Yes, I'm here." He replied softly, trying to reassure her.

She buried her face in his shirt. "So, sorry…" She murmured. "They were doing it 'cause of you. To get to you…"

"I see." He tried to conceal the rising anger in his voice. How dare those bastards lay a hand on her. She was innocent! But…he knew that it was because she was close to him. He had expected something to happen, but he had not thought that she would be as hurt, nor that it would hurt him so much. Somehow, she had become so much more important to him that he had realized.

Sesshoumaru bent his head to lay his chin on her head. "It's alright. I won't let them hurt you again. It's my fault. But I promise you, that I won't let anyone hurt you. "

Kagome jerked her head away suddenly. Somehow, Tanaka's sharp words had come fluttering back to her. "You know…" She began quietly. "You don't have to marry me. It was something set up by our parents. We can break it off anytime, before either one of us gets hurt." Her eyes were misty as she tried to look him in the eyes.

Unconsciously, Sesshoumaru tightened his grasp possessively about her body. "No." He replied simply.

"It would be easier. I know you don't want to do this." Kagome looked down.

A muscle in his jaw tightened. "I'll decide what I want, Kagome."

Kagome flinched. It was strange to hear her name fall from his lips.

He stared at her suspiciously. "What did that man tell you?"

She didn't reply.

Sesshoumaru sighed. "It doesn't matter. He lied. That is the kind of man he was. Don't pay any heed to his words. If he said anything about me, don't trust him. I won't hurt you."

Kagome relaxed slightly. "Okay." She leaned back into his arms and allowed her eyes to shut. She wanted to trust him. She felt so right laying in his embrace. Kagome almost smiled. If she didn't know better, she would say that somehow, she had begun to care about him a lot more than as just a friend.

**End Part One**

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	9. Chapter Nine

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**Chapter Nine: Four Years Into the Past Part Two**

Seshoumaru arrived at his desk a prompt two hours before his workday was scheduled to begin. He liked to start his day out early and was actually in a rather good mood; though none of his inner emotion would ever be displayed on the outside. He hid his emotions well, subduing them all except for those subtle hints which a very select few could read, namely his father and his soon to be wife. He was in for a slight surprise to find his desk already inhabited by another.

A finely dressed woman sat at the edge of his desk, fingering through his rolodex of contacts. Shutting the door to his spacious office none-too-gently, he stalked up to the woman invading his workspace.

"Kagura," he hissed. "What are you doing here?"

The woman grinned, batting her darkly lined eyes in an outrageously flirtatious manner at the man. "Why, I decided to visit my favorite CEO, Taisho-sama..." She licked her lips.

"Enough of that foolishness. _Why _are you here?" He demanded, venom lacing his voice. The woman was an irritant. He would sooner disembowel her than chat with her, but the wench had her uses. She often, if not always, abused his rather generous conduct toward her, but soon he would be rid of her. Once the takeover of Kumo Inc was complete, he would discard the annoying bitch and be done with her.

Kagura chuckled. "My, my, my, Taisho-sama, as formal as always. Business it is then." She spoke with a lilt to her voice, flirtatious still, but much less so. She knew when to draw the line with the Taisho CEO, but found the draw to taunt him irresistible. Slipping her hand into the small purse at her side she drew out a thick white envelope and laid it on the desk. "Here are the Kumo financial reports. I'm sure you'll find them quite intriguing, especially that little dip in September. Seems, Onigumo-sama isn't as adept at reading the market as you." She flashed him a winning grin. "Later, big boy." Blowing him a kiss, she flitted out of his office.

Once the woman was out of his sight, Sesshoumaru dropped his briefcase at the side of his desk and snatched up the envelope. He sliced through the thick paper swiftly with a letter opener and scanned the reports with a critical eye. At reaching the end, he could hardly suppress a grin. It seemed Kumo Inc was taking more than just a 'dip' in the profits department. He leaned over his desk to press the intercom to alert his secretary. "Yura, cancel any meetings I have today and hold my calls. There is some business I'd like to attend to personally." He said, the smile audible in his voice.

"Of course, Taisho-sama." Yura's sultry voice replied.

Taisho Inc had taken a lot of heat in the few years before he took over the company from his father. It was when his father had the slight indiscretion with another woman that the company stocks had taken their own fall. At that moment, Naraku made his own move, and developed quickly into a power industry over Japan. Taisho Inc never fully recovered its own power. If it had not been for Akatsune maintaining its own ground despite set backs, namely Naraku's scheming in the death of the two Akatsune heads, the damage to Taisho Inc would have been irreparable. The Akatsune corporation had been able to overtake some of Taisho's ground and become the predominant business in Japan, much to Naraku's disappointment.

Sesshoumaru had waited fifteen years for Kumo to make a mistake. Naraku had finally erred, and he would swoop in and take over Kumo. Once the two companies were in his control, he would be able to regulate the flow of business and reinstate the true power of the Taisho's.

He was so close to his goal. It was more important now than ever before that he had no weaknesses. Kagome was the one person too close to him, and he knew that Naraku knew it. That corrupt officer at the diner had been one of his thugs. Though Goshinkishi was now locked away, he knew that there would be others out there after Kagome. For the time being, Kagome would be set aside, but only until his takeover of Kumo Incorporated was complete. She would be safer away from him. He would only keep her at arms length. Kagome would understand, he assured himself. It was only for a little while, and then, she would have nothing to worry about, ever.

-:- -:- -:-

Sesshoumaru was a businessman, first and foremost. Kagome was well aware of that fact. She was still important in his life though, but recently, Kagome had begun to wonder. He had been acting strangely, none more apparent than this morning.

She had laughed when he suddenly drew her into his lap at the breakfast table. He nuzzled her neck, and she tried to push him away before she broke down into a giggling fit. She couldn't help it if she was ticklish.

It was all in good humor, until she noticed the clock. Her expression fell. "Shouldn't you be off to work now?" She asked quietly, knowing that he would only be irritated later if she caused him to be late.

He stiffened suddenly. Noting the sudden change, Kagome didn't take her eyes off him. She had been expecting it. Recently, whenever she brought up the subject of his business, his expression hardened and he would become like a different person, a man seemingly to have been carved out of ice.

"Yes." He said curtly, his entire demeanor completely changed. "I should go." He stood causing Kagome to practically spill out of his lap. He gathered his things and was out the door before Kagome could squeeze in another word.

A slight frown tugging the corners of her lips, Kagome stood and brushed herself lightly. "Have a good day," she said softly to no one.

Kagome was used to his mood swings, well not completely. It still stung to be cast aside rather quickly when the subject of his work was broached. She knew she was second best in his life. His work would always come first. For a while, Kagome played with the idea that it was okay. She would be fine as long as he cared for her. Yet, over time, she realized that playing second fiddle hurt a lot more than she had imagined. She had come to the impasse where she knew she would either settle for second best forever, or she could drop the engagement entirely. If she carried on any further, Sesshoumaru would become such an integral part of her life, that if he ever left, she knew she would break.

-:- -:- -:-

It had been a while since they had spent time together, so at her first chance, Sango called up Kagome and demanded that they get together for the day. Thus it was, Kagome found herself seated outside a small café, sharing some iced coffees with her best friend.

They were giggling wildly about times long passed when Kagome heard her name being called out. She looked up to see a man waving at her from across the street.

"Oh Kami, is that Bankotsu?" Sango shielded her eyes with a hand. She squealed. "It is! Kagome! Go talk to him, now!"

Kagome floundered. "Sango, I haven't seen him since High School. It's amazing that he remembered me at all." She replied, flustered, but she managed a smile and a wave toward her high school friend.

Smirking confidently, Sango slapped some bills onto the table, snatched up her friend's hand and dashed across the street. "Please, you know he had the biggest crush on you in High School."

A crimson blush was Kagome's only answer.

-:- -:- -:-

Golden eyes narrowed. "What is the meaning of this, Kagura." He demanded softly, waving a casual hand at the 8x10 glossies covering his desk.

Kagura sighed, leaning over the desk from her perch on the edge. She placed a manicured finger on the surface of the images. "These are exactly what you ordered. Surveillance photos of Naraku's closest contacts. I was doing a follow up on Naraku's attainment of Nichiban Oil when they showed up. Bankotsu and Jakotsu, Naraku's two lead henchmen in the 'persuasion' unit of company acquisition."

The bulk of the images showed Naraku's less than legal dealings in obtaining the Nichiban Oil contract. It would be evidence that Sesshoumaru would use later on to deem the contract void with Naraku and obtain it himself. He had his eyes on Nichiban Oil for a while. Though it was a small company, it would be a highly important resource, especially in tandem with Tsuki Tech. He had calculated that he would be able to cut Tsuki Tech's expenditures by a third by merely providing the raw material and resource through Nichiban Oil.

The last few images of Kagura's file are what disturbed him. "Kagura, you were only to observe them within the confines of the dealings with Nichiban Oil. I have not hired you to take snapshots of them sipping coffee at a café." He said icily.

The woman smirked, her red eyes sliding over the glossies. "Consider them as a bonus." She replied with a smile. "After all, it's not everyday that you see your fiancée consorting with the enemy."

-:- -:- -:-

Kagome was humming happily in the kitchen as she chopped up the vegetables for dinner that night. Today would be one of Sesshoumaru's rare shorter days, so he would actually be home to eat dinner with her. She was startled to hear the front door slam open suddenly as she had not expected him home for another two hours.

She poked her head out of the kitchen with a bright grin. "Welcome home!" She chirped. She frowned when she laid eyes on his tired person. He looked stressed. Worry lines creased his brow and he appeared to be deep in thought, not even acknowledging her greeting.

Kagome walked over, removing his coat and briefcase from him before sitting him on the couch. She fetched a pot of tea she had been brewing for herself, a poured him a cup. "Sesshoumaru, you look like shit." She murmured while fussing over him. She had lain him back against the couch in what she deemed a comfortable position, fluffed up against about twenty soft pillows. "Sit there and relax until dinner. I won't hear a single word from you until I say so or I'll put chives in it." She threatened.

Sesshoumaru was a surprisingly picky eater. He did not like any food that was green. Some he tolerated, like green onions and wasabi, but they were among the very few. She smiled when he winced at the mention of chives. The little green vegetable was near the top of his 'inedible food list.' She ran back into the kitchen to finish preparing their meal.

Once Kagome was out of sight, Sesshoumaru released a long sigh. He removed about half the pillows and flung them away from his person, choosing to lean back on the remaining half. He loosened his tie and undid the first two buttons of his dress shirt.

Kagome acted if nothing was wrong. She was too innocent and naïve a person to be able to hold off such a deception as betraying him. He would give her the benefit of the doubt, he concluded. After all, Kagome loved him.

-:- -:- -:-

Kagome was straining. She had been visiting Bankotsu and Jakotsu with Sango for the past few weeks, but she always felt tired afterwards. Bankotsu and Jakotsu, though she had known them in High School, they would begin to act strangely when the subject of their work was broached. It seemed that they worked under some person named Naraku, and that he and Sesshoumaru were rivals in business. Kagome was completely unaware of it, however, and she just thought they were being silly. How could business be so cutthroat. She could never understand it since it would only result in hurt people, like Shippou.

They had been shocked to hear of her engagement to Sesshoumaru, however unwilling that it was, because they had witnessed how cold and distant the Taisho could be. It seemed like a strange match for their happy, and bubbly warm Kagome to be engaged to marry the heartless bastard.

They had made her promise not to mention her meetings with them to Sesshoumaru, and she agreed. She trusted them, and at the same time, she did not want to upset her fiancée simply by meeting with some old friends.

-:- -:- -:-

Sesshoumaru scowled. The pictures kept piling up! Almost every week Kagura would be perched on his desk, another stack of incriminating photos in hand for him to peruse. His anger and suspicion had grown slowly, but with his informant whispering almost silent accusations under her breath and into his ears, it was becoming difficult to ignore.

More so, Kagome never mentioned those meetings to him. Not once had she told him of meeting with Naraku's agents, either as friends, or commenting that she had run into somebody during the course of her day. Jealousy and rage began to simmer within him.

-:- -:- -:-

They were with Bankotsu and his group again. It was really amazing to discover that Bankotsu's old group from school, which he 'creatively' entitled the Shichinitai, were all employed under the same company. Kagome and Sango giggled as they were now walking in between the group of seven guys, each a bit more eccentric than the last.

It must have been a strange sight to see, as each of the seven would wear the most unique styles of clothing anyone would ever see, and placed in the middle of it all were two girls, about as average as one could get. Kagome knew they were attracting a lot of attention, enough for some people to start snapping photos.

Grinning, Sango snatched up her arm and drew Kagome into an array of strange poses for the photographers. While being drawn up into a certain artful pose, Kagome tottered unbalanced on one foot. Renkotsu decided that it would be a prime time for him to 'accidentally' swipe that unbalanced foot from beneath her, and he did so.

Kagome toppled over ungracefully, like so many stacked bags of flour, right into Bankotsu. She had a sneaking suspicion that Renkotsu had tripped her on purpose when she landed, lip first, onto Bankotsu's lips, her arms thrown around him in surprise when she had attempted to grab onto a non-moving object in her fall.

-:- -:- -:-

The photos were thrown in Kagura's face. She only smirked. "These pictures don't lie, Sesshoumaru." She drawled slowly. "Anyways, wasn't it you, yourself, who requested me to follow them further, even after you told me that you did not want to see them sipping coffee at a café. Is this more to your liking?" She grinned at his furious gaze.

"Silence, wench!" Sesshoumaru's posture was rigid as another photo underwent his scrutiny. It couldn't be true. She wouldn't betray him like this. Kagome was loyal!

As if reading his thoughts, Kagura sighed, idly crossing her legs. "She could be bored you know. You spend almost every waking moment at the office. A girl can't be expected to remain faithful if she's bored. It's just the way of the female. I mean, I certainly wouldn't be sitting there, waiting devotedly for you to return every night. I'd need a life." She said flippantly

But you're not _her_, he wanted to growl out, but something held him back. His own suspicion, fueled by jealousy was luring him into believing her words. Rationality forgotten, he ordered the woman out. He didn't want to hear any more from her serpent's tongue!

Kagura blew him a kiss as she made her way out, her hips swinging invitingly as she shut the door behind her.

Sesshoumaru all but ignored her. He dumped the filthy pictures into a drawer, shoving them out of his sight. Angrily, he stormed his way over to his private liquor cabinet. It held the drinks he would use to unwind at the office, but currently he was searching for harder stuff.

Kagome loved him. She would never betray him, ever! He berated himself, but a tiny distrustful part of him wondered…

-:- -:- -:-

Kagome all but leapt two feet into the air as the front door slammed open. Sesshoumaru was late, much later than he had ever been before in coming home. Kagome worried as she scuttled over to him. He should have been home hours ago! He hadn't called, and she had been unable to reach him at work.

She was shocked as she laid eyes on him. His hair was in disarray, his face had tired lines drawn across it, and his attire was a mess. He looked like a wreck, or he had been hit by one. His eyes were sunken and bloodshot. "What the hell happened to you?" She gasped as she strode over, intent on cleaning him up some.

He angrily slapped away her hands as attempted to touch him.

Kagome took a step back, her expression slightly hurt. "What's wrong?" She asked worriedly.

When she retreated, he advanced. He moved silently as she began taking steps backwards. She had noticed the heavy stench of alcohol all over him. He looked infuriated, and she didn't understand why. Had she done something to upset him?

Her heart leapt into her throat as her back finally made contact with a wall. She couldn't move back anymore. His arms came up around her, caging her against the wall. He lowered narrowed eyes to her.

"S-Sesshoumaru? What's wrong? Did I do something?" She questioned fervently. Her heart was thumping so loudly in her chest, she was afraid that it would burst out. She had never seen him like this before, and it frightened her.

His head lowered, bent down towards her so that his breath blew across her face. She winced. Whatever it was that he had been drinking, it must have been strong. What would drive him to drink like that?

"What do you want from me." He asked, demanding in so quiet of a voice, she had barely heard it.

"What?" Kagome was startled. She didn't want anything from him but his love. He knew that. Why would he doubt her?

"What do you want from me." He repeated, his voice dropping even lower.

"I don't want anything, Sesshoumaru. I just want you." She replied truthfully, looking him in the eyes.

"Liar." He hissed.

Kagome's eyes widened. He didn't trust her! Something had happened for him to change his mind about her so drastically, but for the life of her, not a thing came to mind as to what it could be.

Her shocked silence was enough for him to confirm that it was true. She didn't want him. He snarled, pressing against her, smashing her between the wall and his body. The deceitful bitch! He would prove to her just exactly who it was she was messing with. She would _never _betray him again! He would show her who belonged to who!

Sesshoumaru crushed his lips to hers. A demanding insistent tongue parted her lips forcefully. He pinned her body with his, his arms now free to tear the clothing off of her.

Kagome struggled. What was he doing! He wouldn't! She jerked her head to the side, ripping her abused lips from his. "Sesshoumaru! What are you-?" She couldn't even finish as she was spun around. Her face and body slammed into the wall. His head dropped to her neck and he bit down, hard. Kagome shrieked, more from shock than from pain. He BIT her! Had he gone insane?

"Shut up, bitch!"

She could feel her clothes being torn from her. She was held against the wall, her arms pinned under her. "Sesshoumaru! Stop! Please!" She cried out. She writhed futilely beneath him. Kami, he wouldn't! He wouldn't!

He bit her again, silencing her. Her blood flowed freely from the wound staining her tattered clothing as he hastily removed it.

She felt something hard press up against her. Kami, no! Tears streamed down her face as she silently prayed that he would stop. His stronger form allowed her no purchase in escaping. Still, her mind refused to believe it. She clung to the idea that he would never. He couldn't be that cruel. That forceful. He wouldn't. He wouldn't...

-:- -:- -:-

Sesshoumaru stood. He looked at what he had done. Her body was ravaged and lay limply on the floor. He hadn't stopped until she had fallen unconscious, unable to bear the pain. She had been a virgin, but in his blind rage, he had taken no consideration of her.

He felt no pang of remorse. She had deserved it. She had lied to him.

He had loved her. He had wanted to take care of her and have her beside him. He had needed her. Apparently, she had not felt the same. She had deceived him into believing that she had cared, but they were all lies.

He would show her how little he needed her now.

-:- -:- -:-

Kagome withdrew into herself. She did not go out. She made no more phone calls. She simply remained within the house, hiding herself.

She felt dirty. She couldn't believe that Sesshoumaru had done that to her, but she still couldn't leave him. She still loved him. She just knew that he was mistaken.

She watched him sometimes. She glided unnoticed in the shadows of the house. He would notice her rarely, sending a sharp glare her way. An emotion would spike within her, foreign in it's association with him. True terror would race up her spine, and she wouldn't know why. She shouldn't fear him. He hadn't meant what he did. He was just confused…

He wouldn't listen to her though. He wasn't ready yet. Kagome understood. So she remained within the shadows of the house, avoiding him. Fearing him. Loving him.

-:- -:- -:-

Sesshoumaru went out of his way to condescend to Kagome. He avoided her. He insulted her. He tormented her. Kagome didn't mean anything to him anymore. She didn't love him. She didn't deserve his affections. He would show her as such.

-:- -:- -:-

Outside, the world moved on.

The Shrine was prospering. Miroku and Sango were getting closer. Inuyasha and Kikyou were bridging on getting married. Souta was acing his way through High School. The family had high hopes for his college years. Shippou was becoming even more successful, and he joyfully shared his exuberance with her. Everyone was so happy.

Kagome was glad for them. She really was, so she decided that they didn't need to hear of her troubles with Sesshoumaru. It would only depress them. They deserved their happiness. So, Kagome faded from them as well.

-:- -:- -:-

The strain was slowly beginning to show on Kagome as she endured Sesshoumaru's emotional abuse while isolating herself. Her skin lost her healthy complexion and she had begun to lose weight. Her hair had lost it's luster. Her eyes had lost their sparkle. Her changes went unnoticed by either her or Sesshoumaru.

-:- -:- -:-

"You useless bitch, what do you think you are doing?" The scathing voice bit into her.

Kagome turned, pale. "I-I was just going to c-clean your room." She whispered, stammering, her throat too constricted to make out anything louder.

"No. Do no come near my things, wench!" He hissed. "Someone more trustworthy will be around to do that. You, get out of my sight!"

Kagome jumped and scurried away. She would never be so complacent normally, but his hateful gaze…It tore her up. She couldn't bear to see him hate her so. She couldn't endure his glare. It hurt her so much. Each time he looked at her with nothing but disdain in his eyes, something withered within her. The fear only grew as time passed.

-:- -:- -:-

Events came and passed. Sesshoumaru participated in each. He attended galas and gatherings that he would have normally avoided. Each time a different woman was draped across his arm. Each woman would be more exotic and beautiful than Kagome could ever hope to be.

He made sure that the 'date' for his evening would be brought to their house, so Kagome could play witness to the fact that she was unnecessary, she was below him. He could easily obtain a replacement for her that would be superior to her in every way.

The girls would all be coy, demure, gorgeous, and graceful. They would hold the attractive sway in their bodies, pinnacle specimens of the fairer sex. Any man would be reduced to a groveling puddle at their feet, and they were but dispensable novelties to him.

Kagome faded as she watched, silently. He was right. She could never hope to live up to such standards. She was just a plain girl from a small shrine.

-:- -:- -:-

Rumors began to spread of Sesshoumaru interest in Kagura. He had never openly announced his engagement with Kagome, so his 'infidelity' could not be denounced. He and Kagura had grown closer within the span of two months. He was the ever intimidating ice prince with the alluring fiery princess at his side.

Kagome was all but forgotten.

-:- -:- -:-

Sesshoumaru scowled. Recently, he was much more prone to releasing his temper. His inferiors cowered before him.

Important documents were missing from his desk. In the beginning he had thought that they had simply been misplaced, as the articles dotting his desk had been shoved aside for a morning rut with his secretary. Now he was able to conclude that they was gone completely.

He needed that packet. He called in Yura, demanding to know if anyone else had been at his office beforehand.

With a prudish grin, Yura promptly announced that Kagome had paid him a visit earlier that morning, to find him not present at the office.

-:- -:- -:-

Her friends had called her again, absolutely ecstatic in their news. Kagome plastered a smile to her voice and replied equally in their enthusiasm. She was happy for them.

So excited were they, that they didn't ask how she was doing. For that, Kagome was glad. She hated lying to her friends.

-:- -:- -:-

Sesshoumaru was absolutely livid. _More _papers were missing! He had heard that the day before, Kagome had paid his father a visit. She passed his office on the way to his father's office.

The deceitful bitch!

She was selling him out!

Kagura smiled when she handed over the next pile of photographs and documents. If it wasn't enough to damn Kagome yet, then this would be the clincher.

-:- -:- -:-

At first, Kagome attributed her morning illnesses to her stressed situation. She hadn't been able to stomach any food, she would constantly feel terrible and weakened. When a strange feeling began to grow within her body, she panicked. She tried to treat herself, hoping that what was growing within her wasn't what she thought it was. If it was true, she would only be scorned further, for bearing him something he did not want.

Eventually, she was drawn to the doctor's and her fears were confirmed. She hesitated where she was. He had to know, but she was aware that he would not be happy.

-:- -:- -:-

Kagome sliced through the vegetables with trembling hands. Though he no longer ate the food she prepared, she cooked anyways. She tried to keep occupied to still the growing desperation within her. She jumped at every sound. Every flick of the shadows startled her.

Her frayed nerves wouldn't be good for the baby, but she couldn't help herself. Her terror and grown out of control, nurtured by Sesshoumaru's emotional abuse.

-:- -:- -:-

Sesshoumaru stormed in suddenly. Kagome dropped her knife in surprise. It landed point down, embedded in the wood of their floor.

"Traitorous whore!" He roared, slapping her across her face.

She crumpled to the floor in shock. "Wh-what?"

"Selling me out to Naraku! What were you thinking!" He screamed at her.

Eyes wide, Kagome scuttled backwards. He was seething, absolutely white with rage. He had never hit her before, and from the look on his face, he intended to beat her.

Something had snapped within Sesshoumaru. It wasn't enough that she had betrayed his love, she betrayed his trust as well. She was working for Naraku, the man that she knew he hated above all else. Was this some petty revenge for her? Did she think it was a _game_!

She couldn't let him hit her, no. Their baby's life would be in danger. "Sesshoumaru! I never! Please don't!" She recoiled as he slapped her again, harder. She accidentally bit her tongue and the blood flowed from her mouth, spattering across the floor with the force of his blow.

"Shut up! I don't want to hear your idiotic voice!" He dragged her to her feet by her blouse and tossed her against the counter. She slammed against it, sliding down.

Kagome winced as the sharp kitchen blade on the floor bit into her side. A flash of horror raced through her. What if the knife hit her baby! She wrenched herself away from the blade.

Sesshoumaru misinterpreted her movement as one of retaliation. He bent down and caught the side of her head with his knee. Her teeth clicked sharply as her jaw snapped closed with the impact. His arms slid around her before she could hit the floor again, and swung away, throwing her back onto the counter. He wanted her in front of him for her punishment.

Kagome twisted awkwardly, catching the blade in her flesh anyway possible, as long as it missed her belly and it's precious inhabitant.

"Sesshoumaru, please." She coughed, wheezing. Crimson dribbling down her chin. He had to know! She couldn't endanger their baby's life! "I'm pregnant!"

He was deaf to her pleas. The world was fading into red before him. The pleasant sound of her flesh and blood smacking against the surfaces of their kitchen were strangely soothing to his ears. It eased the pain within him.

He grabbed her arms and twisted, all too aware that her shoulders were weakened since they had been dislocated once before. He took satisfaction from the jerking pop he felt as he pulled her arms out from their sockets. He dropped her unceremoniously, ignoring her screams.

"Hurts, doesn't it?" He asked, sneering. "Well, you deserve it."

He wouldn't listen. She couldn't fight back. He was too strong. If she tried to flee, he would only catch her and slam her into the floor, counter, or wall again. The impact would be jarring and hazardous to their child. She had to take the blows. She fell, almost docilely to his abuse. Moving only to make sure that it was herself, and not their baby, that felt the brunt of his ire.

He saw her submitting to his rage. "You're weak. _Worthless_."

His hands encircled her throat like a vice. Her breath hitched once before her airway closed. Silent tears leaked unseen down her cheeks as she looked at him. _I'm so sorry baby. I'm not strong enough to protect you._ Her eyes closed slowly in defeat.

Red clouded his vision. Sounds faded to the pounding beat of his blood in his ears. When he came to himself again, Sesshoumaru glared at the mess he had made, the mess of his 'fiancée.'

"Disgusting." He murmured, curling his lips in disdain. "I never want to see you, or anything of you, ever again. Get out. Get away from me. You don't belong here, you never did." He hissed, his heart constricting.

He stepped over her broken body, ignoring the screams of his shattered heart. She had hurt and betrayed him. He never should have gotten close. This would serve him right. Never again would he be so mistaken. She had learned her lesson, and so had he.

**End Part Two**

-:- -:- -:-

-:- -:- -:-

-:- -:- -:-


	10. Chapter Ten

-:- -:- -:-

-:- -:- -:-

-:- -:- -:-

**Chapter Ten: Four Years Into the Past Part Three**

Shippou was aghast.

It had been sometime since he had last heard from his okaa-san, and when he had heard from her, she didn't sound normal. She was usually more perky and gleeful, but in their last phone call, his okaa-san's cheerfulness sounded strained, forced.

At the time, he had been busy with his own company, and chalked up her strangeness to her being tired. He would be tired too if he had to live with Mr. Hardass Snowman like she did. Guilt-tripping now, he decided to pay her a surprise visit to make up for the time they had been out of contact. He couldn't wait to see her and her expression at seeing him so suddenly.

No one had answered the front door, so he walked toward the back door. He knew that his okaa-san usually had the back door open, as it was near the kitchen and she liked to have the sunlight streaming in. He was a little startled to find the back of the house dark as all else, but the kitchen door was unlocked, so he let himself in.

He fumbled through the house a moment, searching for the light switch. Finding it, he flicked it on and blinked a few times as his eyes adjusted. Once his eyes regained focus, he all but screamed.

Kagome lay on the floor in pool of her own dried blood, dead to the world.

Hurriedly, he bent over her, seeking signs of life. Finding a faint pulse, he gave a sigh of relief before checking the extent of her injuries. She was covered in cuts and bruises. One arm looked to be dislocated. Her breathing was shaky and uneven, each breath a struggle. He feared that she had a broken rib or two. She was drenched in her own blood, now sticky and dry. What kind of monster would do this to her?

He looked about the kitchen. Her blood was spattered across the floor, countertops, table, walls, even the damned ceiling. His blood boiled at the sight. If he ever caught the bastard who did this to her, he would rip out his intestines and strangle him with it. Shippou ran to the sink, collecting a washcloth and a bowl of warm water. He moistened the cloth, and gently cleaned Kagome of the blood. He knew that it would cause her even more pain if he tried to move her while she was encrusted in her own dried blood.

"Okaa-san? Okaa-san? Can you hear me? Are you ok? Kagome!" He called out to her while tending to her, his voice rising in pitch as the panic grew within him. She lay on the cold tile floor, eyes staring out unresponsively, lifelessly.

He winced as he cleaned out a particularly deep cut. He peered at it. She was lucky that though the cut was deep, it had not severed any tendons or deep muscle. For the most part, most of her wounds looked to be only flesh wounds which would heal, but scar. Her dislocated shoulder could be reset. Hopefully, her broken ribs had not caused too much internal damage. She would be fine, physically, but mentally, he feared the worst. She looked totally broken.

He cursed Sesshoumaru. Where was that damned man when she needed him? Didn't he know that Kagome was hurt? She looked to have been there for hours! Shippou studied the room. He took that back, she had been there for a day or two at least…in that time, Sesshoumaru would have been blind to have not noticed…but that would mean…

He grit his teeth, lips pulling back in a scowl. He threw the towel angrily against a wall. **DAMN **THAT **BASTARD**! HOW COULD HE **DO **THIS TO **_HER_**!

Kagome seemed to react to his anger. Her head swiveled slightly, the slowness of her movements revealing the amount of pain she was in. "Shippou-chan?" She asked absently.

Shippou was at her side in an instant. "Okaa-san? Okaa-san? Are you ok?" He clasped her hands in his.

She flinched momentarily. "Yes, I'm fine. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?" She asked shakily, her voice trembling.

Emerald eyes widened. Rage bubbled within him. Kami, was she _afraid_ of him? He silently cursed Sesshoumaru to Hell in all the agonizing ways possible. "Don't think of work now, okaa-san! What happened to you?" He asked, trying to restrain his anger so as to not scare her.

"Nothing I didn't deserve. You should leave, Shippou-chan. He'll be very angry if I'm here." She murmured, her eyelids drooping. Lack of nutrition and blood had severely weakened her, but Shippou was just happy she was still alive. By all rights, she should have been dead from her injuries and neglect.

"Okaa-san, you're not making any sense." He picked up the thrown cloth, gingerly wiping at her wounds.

"Very mad. I have to go. I need to…" She drifted off, eyes closing.

"Okaa-san!" Shippou shrieked in blind panic.

Her eyes fluttered open, terrible, dull, grey eyes. They stared out hollowly. "Oh, mustn't forget. I have something to do…then I have to go…"

"Go where Okaa-san?"

"Leave…he wants me gone….I need to…" Her voice faded to inaudible whispers. Shippou bent down to hear, his ear millimeters from her moving lips. His expression darkened at what he heard.

The bastard had beaten her because he thought she had _betrayed _him! The fool. Kagome was the purest soul ever to walk the earth! And he wanted her gone! Very well, he would see to it that Sesshoumaru would **_never_** be able to lay a hand on Kagome ever again!

"Okaa-san?" He knelt so that he was eyelevel with her. He spoke in soft, reassuring tones. "I'll help you. I'll do it for you. Just tell me what to do."

-:- -:- -:-

Two months had passed since he had last seen Kagome. Two months since he had left the woman, injured, bleeding on the kitchen floor. He had since then drowned himself in women and alcohol. Neither satiated him. Instead, they left him feeling ill. A terrible feeling had been growing in the pit of his stomach. It had intensified into an agony so strong, he felt as if it would have torn him apart. Life simply no longer seemed to be worth living.

Sesshoumaru sat, slouched in a chair. He idly twirled a delicate glass of wine between his fingers, before setting it aside in search of a stronger beverage. He had lost weight. His appearance had become almost gaunt, his eyes a bit more dull than their normal piercing gold. He no longer carried himself as strongly or as confidently as he had before. His whole appearance had a weary and worn look. He was utterly miserable.

Only two months without Kagome, and he was already contemplating leaving everything behind. Nothing seemed worth the effort. He no longer cared. His empire was in order, his fortune secure. There was nothing for him.

He had spent the past two months renting out the most expensive penthouses in all of Tokyo. He had done everything possible to try to rid his thoughts of the woman who had betrayed him, but her hurt, broken image would not leave him. It seemed branded into his mind, never fading. It would replay in his mind, over and over. He could see her body fall, collide into the side of the counter. There was a glint of metal he had not noticed at the time, but now he realized that she had repeatedly landed on a kitchen knife.

Kagome had always kept the kitchen impeccably clean, and all the utensils ready to use. The knives had all been sharpened to a keen razors edge. In his inner eye, he watched as she twisted her body oddly at every impact. Her sides and back always taking the blow. She protected her front. He had not understood why, but at the time, it hadn't mattered to him. She had betrayed him, sold him out to his rival in business. He had wanted her to suffer, to feel the pain she had caused him.

Her lips had moved soundlessly. She had tried to speak, but his ears were awash with the sound of his rushing blood, his furiously pumping heart. He wouldn't listen. He didn't care. She had betrayed him, hurt him, broken his heart.

But now, he wondered, had he erred? Looking back, she had never actually seen any of his business associates. She stayed out of his business circles. The only time she had ever seen his work was when he, himself had called her over, or when his father had. Slowly, a painful, dawning realization came upon him. What reason would Kagome have to betray him? What did she have to gain? Kagome could have cared less about his money. She never once involved herself in his business. In fact, she found his whole occupation arduous and boring. She had even thought it deplorable at one point, his ruthless manner in buying out others and underselling the competition. She was too satisfied with her simple way of living. Had it been her choice, she would have gone out, and run a simple store, like a bookshop or some other quaint boutique.

The blood drained from his face. It had been haunting him more and more as the weeks had passed, his reasoning behind Kagome's betrayal. It seemed too convenient. Kagura had always been a good informant, but when her accusations became less probable, he had wondered.

Then she had produced the evidence to damn his fiancée. There were missing papers, papers which had disappeared after Kagome's visits. But Kagome had only visited around when Kagura had, and he only noticed after Kagura had left. There were pictures of Kagome talking with associates of his rival companies. Such pictures would have been easily forged, manipulated, or even planned out by simply having the associate walk up to Kagome and strike up conversation while someone took secret photos. Kagome's kind nature would never turn away someone who just wanted to talk.

The other evidence had been subtly planted around Kagome, small details that only he would notice. Kagome herself would never have noticed something like a moved file or missing disc. But she was a perfectionist in all things neat. If she had actually plotted against him, she would not have been so careless as to leave behind such evidence. Too easily he had let himself be fooled, to be goaded into believing of her betrayal. Had he been thinking rationally, or at all, he would have clearly seen that Kagome was totally innocent…

The sudden fear gripped him. He had been tricked, and he had probably pushed away the only person on earth who would have loved him unconditionally! The glass of liquor slipped from his numb and lifeless fingers. Kami, what had he done? He had raped her in his anger. In his pain, he had beaten her. He had to go back. He had to apologize.

Sesshoumaru stood, snatching up his car keys on his way out. It was two-something in the morning, but it didn't matter. She had to know that he didn't hate her, he wanted her, he missed her, he loved her. He had never stopped loving her. Sesshoumaru had thought that by trying to slake his lusts with other women, drowning himself in alcohol, he would be able to dispel his thoughts and feelings for Kagome, but they all left him feeling hollow and miserable. At first he had hated himself for being such a fool for not being able to forget about her, but now he clung desperately to his memories of her. He wanted nothing more than to be able to return home and have her there, waiting for him with that glowing smile on her face. Oh, Kagome had always been beautiful, but when she smiled, she was positively radiant.

Home.

The word echoed in his mind painfully. Home was supposed to be a place where one felt the most at ease, the most comforting place, a sanctuary. Home for him was with Kagome. He needed to go back. He needed to be with her. He _needed _her. Without Kagome with him, his life had fallen to pieces too quickly. He never should have doubted her. Guilt had steadily eaten through him until he was now completely hollow inside, aching with need to be with Kagome. He missed her smile, her touch, her love. He wanted to be reassured that she would always be there for him. She had promised to never leave him. She promised!

Sesshoumaru forewent the elevator in favor of the stairs. He wanted to get to her as quickly as possible. Rather than waiting for the lift to take him to the bottom, he flew down the steps, even though he was on the top floor of a twenty story building. Desperation and need fueled him as he ran out into the parking garage. It was raining, and the streets were dimly lit, but he barely noticed as he leapt into his car and gunned it out of the garage. He took the turns at speeds way over the limit, his hands and feet mechanically directing the machine. He knew his way home by heart. His mind was elsewhere, on Kagome.

He saw the large building looming up ahead of him. The familiar house where Kagome was. He remembered when he came home from work, she always greeted him at the door, grinning like mad. The house was always well lit and warm. He would wonder what mischief she had been up to while he was away. It was strange to him how quickly he had come to expect her welcomes over the first four months. He never realized how much he would miss it when she was gone. He jumped from his car, barely remembering to turn the engine off.

Once at the front door, he fumbled with his house keys. Oh Kami, he was nervous. He was afraid. What would he say to her? What would she think? Would she forgive him? Could she? No, it didn't matter. He just had to know she was safe and alright. Even if she didn't forgive him just now, he would keep her by his side and win her over again. He just needed to see her once more. It physically hurt him to not be able to see her, feel her, know that she was beside him. He wanted to snatch her up and hold her soft body in his arms. He wanted to feel her, know she was really there, really real, really his. Kagome, Kagome, Kagome. Her name sang in his head in some eerie song. He should never have hurt her. She never deserved it. He was such a fool!

Shaky fingers fumbled and dropped the keys before he took an unsteady breath to try to calm himself. He retrieved his keys and slid the correct key into the slot, turning it. He could hear the tumblers move as the door unlocked. He took another breath and laid his hand on the door knob. She hadn't changed the locks. She didn't hate him enough to keep him out of the house. That was a good sign. Now, only the door separated him from her. He threw the door open in an uncharacteristic outburst of excitement.

The inside of the house was cold and unlit. He shook his head, it was nearly three am, of course she wouldn't be awake. Kagome would be tucked into bed, sleeping like any normal person. A small part of him had almost expected her to be on the couch, waiting for him, book in hand, and a smile on her face.

He raced upstairs, toward the room they had shared. Two flights up, to the right, down the second hallway, third room on the right. He was face to face with the smooth mahogany door. He placed his hand on it's cherry finish and slowly pushed to door open. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the absolute pitch darkness of the room, but when they did, all he could do was blink. It was empty. The bed was perfectly made, no telltale lump to indicate a sleeping person. Had she fallen asleep elsewhere? Kagome was sometimes prone to falling asleep in the strangest of places. He had once found her asleep in the pantry, her hand curled about a can of soup.

He checked the next room, and the next. He searched the entire third floor, then the second, then the first. His mind roiled in panic. Where was she? He couldn't find her! Was there some other room or place he had neglected to check? He ran madly through the house, calling her name and flicking on every light in the residence. Then he noticed, he finally saw how totally empty the house was. Photographs, furniture, even some decorations were gone.

He slowly went from room to room. He flicked through photo albums. There were still some pictures in them, but any single photo containing a Kagome had been removed. Her clothes were gone. The furniture she had picked out for the house were gone. Even her favorite foods were missing from the fridge and pantry. Anything that had been Kagome's was gone. The entire house was bare except for that which had belonged to him.

She had been terribly meticulous in her removal of her belongings. There was nothing in the house to ever prove that there once had been a loving, kind, and gorgeous woman living there. Sesshoumaru ached in knowing that now he had nothing to remember her by.

Sharp, accusing words slapped him in the face.

_"I never want to see you, or anything of you ever again!" _

They had been his own words, and she had taken them to heart. Oh how he regretted that those painful, scathing words had ever slipped from his lips.

He slumped lifelessly onto the couch. It was a couch he had chosen for the living room. Smooth black leather to contrast the white plush carpet and clear glass table. The small, colorful vase of flowers which Kagome kept on the table was gone. He stared into nothingness and hung his head morosely.

It struck him now, everything in the house was covered in a fine, even layer of dust, showing that no one had been in there for some time. The whole house was dismally quiet. Even with all the lights on, the house lacked warmth. The wetness from running in the rain caused him further chill.

No, he wasn't home. This was just a shell of a house. Without Kagome, this house meant nothing to him.

Kagome was gone.

**End Part Three**

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	11. Chapter Eleven

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**Chapter Eleven**

"I'm gonna **fucking strangle you**! I'll chop off your legs, rip out your intestines, and use your lungs as seat cushions! Then I'll tear out your colon and force feed it too you so you can **FUCKING **taste your own **FUCKING SHIT**!" Inuyasha was screaming, flailing in unbridled anger while both Shippo and Souta tried to hold him back. His face was bright red with rage as tears streamed unnoticed down his face.

He was angry, hell he was pissed. He couldn't believe what a total idiot his brother was. Yet he was angrier at himself for letting it all go unnoticed. It seemed as if he had ignored Kagome in her time of need, and it tore him up inside. He was angry, hateful, and filled with a terrible sense of self-loathing. "**I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOUR GUTS, SESSHOUMARU!**"

For his part, Sesshoumaru sat immobile in the middle of the couch. His hands hung limply in between his knees and he seemed to stare blankly at a spot two feet from him. The things around him, the shouts, the screams, the tears, the people, all went unseen by his eyes. Something deep inside him was screaming. It was the most agonizing feeling he had ever felt. Never in his life had he ever been so very..._wrong_.

Kagome was Kagome, and had always been just Kagome. She never lived up to anyone's expectations but her own, and even then, people found her to be quite surprising. He should have trusted her, it was all she ever asked. She never asked for his money, only for his affection, his love. All she ever asked from him, to ther very end was his trust, and he had denied her even that. No matter how perfect she was, he had been seeking her flaw. The one fault she possessed which would deem her inferior in his eyes. He had wanted to be able to look down on her, to know that he was better. But the feeling of superiority never came when he was with her. Instead, he felt complete, content. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. She made him feel so happy.

In return, he scorned her, betrayed her, hurt her, broken her. She had given everything to him, and he broke her. Such emptiness ate away at him. The coldness, the bitterness...he loathed himself. She was his everything, and he realized that far too late. Even the emptiness that he felt when he found out she was gone could not have compared to the searing, burning, lacerating feeling of self-loathing within him. She had only tried to make him happy, but he couldn't see it. He couldn't see past his need to be better than everyone else, it was what had fueled him for so long. But with Kagome, he only needed to be himself. He never needed to prove anything to her. She was different. Without her, everything seemed sterile and lifeless and...not worth living for.

Something seemed to shatter within him and his sharp profile deflated. He sunk into the couch cushions, not caring about his appearance. It was pathetic he knew, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing was worth it. Without Kagome, there wasn't anything for him anywhere. Even if she was here, in the same room, beside him, he didn't deserve her. She was such a pure and loving creature, and he destroyed her. She was a shell, fearing him, and not being able to see her own worth, all because of him.

-:- -:- -:-

Shippou struggled beside Souta to get the younger Taisho under control. With the way the man was carelessly flinging his limbs about, he'd hurt them or himself. His green eyes slanted to look at Souta. The boy's face was held in tight control, his lips pressed into a thin line, but he could tell from the whiteness of the boy's pallor, Souta was absolutely furious. He had never seen the boy truly angry before, he had been a rather open and happy child, like his mother and Kagome.

It was obvious to Shippou that not even Souta was aware of all of the transpirings between Kagome and Sesshoumaru. It was a carefully kept secret between himself and Kikyou. Now it was all in the open. His eyes shifted to look at the others in the room. Mrs. Higurashi seemed to be in a state of shock. Miroku was livid, sitting stiffly with his hands curled into tight fists in his lap. His violet eyes flashed with a brilliance he had never seen before. Sango couldn't even look at Sesshoumaru, her eyes averted to the floor and her jaw clenched tightly. Kikyou kept her calm facade. She had moved to her mother in attempt to comfort the aging woman.

Of anyone, it had been Mrs. Higurashi who would have needed to hear the truth the least. She was simple and kind hearted woman, often refusing to believe in the darkness of others. She had such a pure and optimistic outlook, that discovering what had happened to her beloved daughter would cut her the deepest. She had not been there for Kagome when she was in pain. Everyone had seen and believed Kagome's smiling face, never looking past the fragile mask. It seemed that they were all together in refusing to believe that Kagome was unhappy. She was always there for them, smiling, giggling, and giving them her unconditional love no matter what they had done. And they failed her.

It took a few moments to realize that Inuyasha had ceased his futile struggle. Inuyasha shrugged off the loosened grasps of the boys and turned to face his 'older brother.'

"Ya know, I always knew you were a jerk, Sesshoumaru. But I had always believed that you knew when to draw the line. I guess I was wrong." He said quietly, his voice devoid of emotion. He walked over to where Miroku sat and slumped beside his best friend, his body seeming unable to support him any longer.

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Kikyou's mind had ground to a halt. She had never expected Shippou to have told everyone, he just looked so mad. He had wanted Sesshoumaru to suffer, to relive his guilt. But, it seemed that not even Sesshoumaru had been fully aware of all of the details of what had come to pass.

Far from looking guilty, Shippou only looked depressed for causing the others to suffer as well. They had all played an unintentional part in harming Kagome. Kagome had been strong and brave, and too entirely selfless to care about herself. They never truly realized the depths of Kagome's selflessness until just now. Her head drooped a few notches. Kagome never knew how much they loved her back, or else she would never have had to gone through it alone. Even the birthing of her first child was done almost totally alone...

The flash of silver by her elbow caused Kikyou's head to snap up suddenly.

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"Kikyou-ba-chan? Where is okaa-san?"

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The small, quiet, innocent voice of a child rang throughout the room, forcing all of its occupants into utter stillness. Unaware of the commotion he had caused, Hoshimaru continued to tug on the sleeve of his auntie, asking for his mother.

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Kikyou sputtered, her voice locking in her throat. KAGOME LEFT HER SON HERE! What was she thinking! So lost was Kikyou in her own tumultuous thoughts, that it didn't register with her that everyone else in the room had their eyes trained on the small child who had his small hand wrapped around her shirt sleeve.

"Kikyou-ba-chan?" Hoshimaru questioned again when she didn't answer him. "Where is okaa-san?"

So very slowly, everyone in the room, except for Shippou, Kikyou and Sesshoumaru, openly gaped at the child. Their gazes turned from the child to Sesshoumaru, and back again. Hoshimaru shifted, unused to such attention. He hid behind Kikyou. "Kikyou-ba-chan." He whispered. "Who are all the people?"

Kikyou gulped, her eyes slipped over to Sesshoumaru, gauging the man's reaction.

Sesshoumaru appeared stricken. The child. The child! It couldn't be, but the evidence was irrefutable!

The child possessed the trademark white hair, unique to those of Taisho blood. He had called Kikyou his aunt, so it had to be Kagome's son, but...the child wasn't Inuyasha's! His half-brother would have never cheated on his beloved Kikyou. His father had never expressed any romantic interest in Kagome.

Sesshoumaru's panic-addled brain churned slowly. That left the only other living male Taisho...him. Oh Kami, no. Not after what he had done. After everything he had already put her through, she...she bore him a son!

He had raped her! He had beat her! He had almost killed their child in his misplaced ire. Something terrible clicked in his mind. He remembered vividly, her limp body falling, smacking against the counter, landing atop the sharp kitchen blade repeatedly. The way her body twisted so strangely, he had not wondered at the time, but now, it made sense now. She had been protecting their unborn child. She had tried to tell him. He hadn't listened.

Kami, no!

He had almost killed their son! He had almost killed her! How could she have forgiven him? He was a monster. He brought a hand to his face slowly, disbelieving of himself…he was disgusting…sickening to look at…

It never should have happened. A child, borne from that terrible night of his own jealousy. The child, within her, growing, and her own weakened body taking the brunt of his anger for the thought of her betrayal. It just couldn't be…he should never have been so mistaken. He had neglected her…abandoned her…

She had suffered so much, and she was all alone! Four years, raising a child by herself. Suffering by herself. NO!

His heart clenched, his throat constricting so tightly he found it difficult to breathe. His hand curled into fists, nails breaking the skin. Blood dripped slowly from his hands. The pain was almost refreshing…

It just couldn't be true…so wrong…so wrong…He didn't deserve her, but she didn't deserve to live alone and in pain…not like that. He couldn't leave her to live like that anymore. Kami, even if she hated him with every fiber of her being, he swore he would never let her alone ever again. She would never be so unprotected, so vulnerable…

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Sesshoumau leapt to his feet and dashed wildly for the door. He was suddenly side-tackled to the ground. He looked up to see his younger sibling pinning him to the floor with the most enraged look across his features.

"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!" Inuyasha roared into the man's face. "You're such a fucking COWARD! You know who that kid is, and you're going to fucking run away! Shit, if it weren't for the fact that every kid needs a father, I'd so fucking happily relieve you of you innards and make outtards of them!" Inuyasha was visibly shaking in his anger. How could his own brother, who always spouted shit about honor and pride, go and abandon his only child. It disgusted him to be related to such a worthless asshole.

"I wasn't running away, Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru said calmly, but his eyes belied his inner turmoil. A pained expression flashed across his face. "I need to go find Kagome. She couldn't possibly have gotten too far. She's had less than a nights travel. I can bring her back." He reasoned.

Inuyasha refused to let his brother up. He head dropped, his bangs hiding his eyes. "No." He replied. "You're not getting anywhere near her again." He said, his voice low and laced with anger. "I won't let you." He whispered harshly.

"Inuyasha!" Kikyou called, startled by what she had heard her fiance say. "You don't mean that. It's not fair to Kagome."

"Kagome? Kagome! Do you see Kagome here anywhere! NO! And you KNOW she would be if it weren't for this sonuvabitch!"

"Okaa-san is gone!" Hoshimaru's shrill voice startled everyone. Inuyasha leapt off Sesshoumaru as if he had been burned. They had forgotten he was there.

Kikyou looked down. She had covered Hoshimaru's ears with her hands when she had heard Inuyasha begin his rant. Apparently he had been too loud for her hand-earmuffs. She moved her hands from his ears to his shoulders and turned the child to face her. "Don't worry. Kagome didn't leave you. She loves you too much." She said comfortingly, giving the child a hug. A slip of white caught her attention. "What's that?" She asked the child, indicating the small white envelope he had clutched protectively in one hand.

Hoshimaru beamed. "Okaa-san gave me a letter. I know it's for me 'cause it has my name on it. Mama taught me how to read my name!" He said proudly, holding the envelope in front of him so his aunt could see his name, clearly written across it.

Kikyou's eyes focused on the letter. She smiled. "May I see it?"

Hoshimaru hesitated for a moment, then handed over the letter. "Ok, you can see it, but only if you read it to me, ok?" He said, making a deal in his childish wisdom.

Kikyou nodded, still smiling. "Of course." She took the letter and tore it open. Her eyes quickly scanned over the contents of the note. Her face paled.

"What is it!" Sango asked worriedly. She had kept her peace, but she wanted to know what Kagome could say to frighten Kikyou so badly.

"Okaa-san? Could you please take my nephew out for some ice cream? I'm sure he'd love it." Kikyou said, a hand on Hoshimaru's shoulder, a false smile plastered across her face.

A frown flitted across Sakuya's expression. She looked to the boy. He seemed so afraid and clueless. He was clutching Kikyou's sleeve, afraid to let go and face all the strangers alone. Ice cream enticed the child, but he was afraid. He was a darling child.

"Ano...Kikyou-ba-chan? I wanna go with Shippou-nii-san..." He said quietly.

Kikyou kneeled. "Don't be afraid of my okaa-san. She's your obaa-chan."

Hoshimaru's eyes widened. Grandmother? He had always wanted grandparents. "Really?"

Kikyou nodded. "Yes. Now, go get some ice cream."

The boy grinned brightly up at her and ran to his newfound grandmother. He stopped a few feet from her and shifted awkwardly, still shy. At Sakuya's encouraging smile, he launched himself at her in a hug. "Hi, obaa-chan!"

Sakuya couldn't suppress the grin as it spread across her face. "Hi there." She ruffled his hair. "Time for a snack?"

"Yeah!" He replied enthusiastically. He turned back to Kikyou, his brows furrowed in concentration. "You'll read me my note when I get back, right Kikyou-ba-san?" At her nod, he grinned and turned his attention back to his obaa-chan. "I've never had ice cream for breakfast before!" He said excitedly.

Sakuya mentally winced at her daughter's choice of treat for the boy. Perhaps when they got back, she would make something much more nutritious for the growing lad.

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Once Sakuya and the boy were gone, Kikyou was all but pounced upon.

"Well, what does it say?" Impatient voices demanded.

A frown crossed her face instantly. She sighed and held the note out. Eager hands snatched it up, and it was passed around. Disbelieving eyes scanned the note, not wanting to accept what was written.

_Hoshimaru,_

_I want you to know that I love you, and will always love you until the end of my days, but, I'm not worthy enough to stay by your side. You were actually borne from a father who carries a much more prominent name and will be more worthy of you than I ever could be._

_You are my perfect child, my darling star child, and I love you. I do this for your own good. You're old enough now to no longer need me, and I see that it is time that you saw this as well. If your father will not accept you because of my tainted heritage, I am sure that my other family will love you for me. They are kind enough to see past my misdeeds and take care of you._

_For now, I will leave you in the care of Akatsune Shippou, for I know that he will not turn you away as he has taken care of me for so long. I'm so sorry if you think I am abandoning you, but I do it for your own good. One day, when you are old enough, you will see how completely useless I would have been to you, and you would have been glad to have left my defiling presence._

_I would send you my love, if I was sure that you would not be disgusted. I'm very sorry for holding you back. I'll love you silently forever, but I'll understand if you never wish to see me again._

_-Kagome_

"She can't….she can't possibly think that that's true…" Sango gasped, the first one to break the tense silence. "I-I mean, no one would have loved him more than her. There is no one on earth more capable of such unconditional love than her!"

"I'm afraid that is what she truly thinks, though." Miroku replied softly. "After all, she would not leave her only child if she did not believe it was better for him." His eyes were cast downward.

"Well, she's wrong!" Inuyasha stormed angrily. "We'll just drag her back here and prove her wrong! She's wrong, she's wrong!" His hands curled into fists, brows furrowed in his tantrum.

He couldn't believe it! She ACTUALLY left her child behind. And for what? Because his worthless asshole of a brother couldn't get his head out of his ass long enough to see the beautiful creature that was Kagome. If he could, at that moment, he would have happily dumped his 'brother' off into a hole somewhere, and traded his miserable presence for Kagome's. He would have done it in an instant. He glared at said sibling, who had drawn into himself silently. The man could not have looked more dejected, but Inuyasha didn't care. He seethed inwardly, hoping that his half- brother was suffering.

"I looked for her." Sesshoumaru said quietly. His words seemed out of place in the room. The others glared at him, an almost silent reprimand, saying that he had no right. "I looked for her." He repeated, slightly louder.

"Tch! After two months!" Shippou glared at the man.

Sesshoumaru slowly turned his head toward the younger man. His gaze was questioning.

Shippou closed his eyes and crossed his arms. "When you left Kagome, she was broken, physically and mentally. Did you really think, that after everything you've done to her, that I would let you get within a hundred miles of her?" He hissed.

"You…hid her from me!" Golden eyes blazed, his glare accusing.

"Of course! I did it to protect her!"

"She needed no protection from me!" Sesshoumaru stood, towering over Shippou. Anger swelled within him. The need to retaliate bubbled forth. It wasn't right! He knew he had been wrong! But he was going to correct that mistake NOW. This whelp had every right to stop him, but his rationality had evaporated in favor of anger. He needed to prove to them that Kagome no longer had ANY reason to fear him ever again! "I just wanted to talk, to apologize. I would **never** hurt her again."

"Bang up job, you're doing there." Shippou waved an arm in the air. "I don't think that you've heard a single word I've said, have you?" He poked the taller man in the chest. "You don't care about her enough, not nearly **enough**! Everything you've done has been done to ease your own fucking conscience! Not once do I think that you've _ever_ had Kagome's best interests at heart! You're a soulless monster!"

"You don't think that I love her, do you?" Golden eyes narrowed.

"I don't think you're capable of _love_ Sesshoumaru, not one bit." He turned away angrily.

A hand snaked out, latching onto Shippou's arm, spinning him roughly. "You're wrong." Sesshoumaru hissed, his eyes burning with emotion.

Shippou regarded him coolly. "Prove it." He hissed back, shaking free from the other man's grip. He walked over to Kikyou. "I'm going to go find Kagome. When I come back, I'm taking Hoshimaru with us. I'll see you." He muttered before stalking out of the house.

Kikyou could only nod mutely. Shippou's fire and cold rage had startled her. She had never seen the younger man look so angry in her entire life.

"By the way, _Taisho-san_," Shippou lilted mockingly before walking out of hearing range. "I'll see to it, personally, that you are never going to get any form of custody over Hoshimaru, _ever_." With that he slammed the door and was racing across the shrine grounds.

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Kikyou looked at the rest who remained. They were shell shocked to say the least, not that Sesshoumaru didn't deserve it, but they never expected such cruelty from the boy. She saw Souta look over in her direction as if to say 'now what?' It was a good question.

Inuyasha stomped about angrily. "Ok, she HAS been gone for only one night. We can still find her!" He proclaimed, eyes hardening in determination. He WOULD find her this time. Kagome deserved so much better than what she had been put through. He glared darkly at his 'brother.' Sesshoumaru was currently slinking away. He growled.

Sesshoumaru looked up, giving him a challenging glare. 'Just try to stop me. I'll find her.'

"Not if I find her first, asshole." Inuyasha muttered, stomping off.

Sesshoumaru sniffed. There was absolutely no way in hell he was going to allow her to slip through her fingers again. She meant so much more…so very much more than he could ever possibly have known. She was his everything, and he was intent on proving as such. Ignoring the cold glares he was receiving, he gave a quick bow and departed.

No way. There was no way Kagome would be getting away from him. Sesshoumaru bolted down the shrine stairs as soon as he was out of sight from the others. He couldn't lose her. Not again. Not after all this. It wasn't right. She deserved so much better. He would have to show her. He would prove to her that he had been so very wrong…

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Shippou was startled. He had been absentmindedly running down the shrine steps when he had reached the bottom, and a hand grabbed his arm, bringing him to a swinging halt. Blinking, he recognized the person who stopped him, and almost recoiled at the rage he saw in his face.

"Is it true?" Touga demanded, fury barely concealed in his voice.

"Uh…er…" Shippou was rattled. He had yet to see the famed former CEO truly lose his temper. Judging by the way Touga glared at him, seeking answers, he hoped he never had to play witness to that event. "Yes." He managed to squeak out, his mind finally processing the question. Apparently, Touga had heard him reveal the story behind Kagome.

Touga grimaced. He closed his eyes, stepping back. He turned his head to the side. He had heard Shippou tell of the events. It was shocking to hear of it. He had never expected Sesshoumaru to behave in such a depraved and foolish manner, ever. His son was a blasted fool. He had half a mind to strip Sesshoumaru of the business and give it to Inuyasha, but that would have been foolhardy. His youngest was not responsible enough to maintain the Taisho business. He did not want to see his hard work flow down the drain needlessly.

"I see." He murmured indistinctly. "Very well then." Seeing the boy slightly on edge, he thanked him before stepping into his car and driving off. Shippou wasn't lying. He had confirmed that himself by simply observing the boy. Since that was the case, he would simply keep it to himself.

He was aware that they all loved her, but Kagome wouldn't understand. She had not yet had enough time or have been placed in a soothing environment enough to have healed. The years of her isolation had only made things worse. She had been left alone to think and further convince herself of her uselessness. What she needed was someone else, someone unaware of her past to be able to smile at her and tell her that she was loved. She wouldn't find that at the Shrine or with her friends. They would only smother her with affection, further burying her wounds, but not healing them. For that reason alone, he would keep Kagome's location a secret.

He had seen her escape that night, from his son's arms. He had not followed, but rather he ordered others he trusted to follow her. He would keep an eye on her, to make sure she stayed out of harms way.

He had wanted to find out for himself what exactly it was that would cause her to flee from the people who loved her so. He almost regretted learning the truth.

-:- -:- -:-

Shippou trotted on. Hoshimaru would be safe at the Shrine. The child would stay there until he found Kagome. He was certain that he could find her. He had found her the first time. It was his hope that she had returned to the cabin. He would go there first. Kagome didn't have very many options of places to flee to that he wasn't aware of.

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After a week of fruitless searching, Inuyasha became desperate. Everyday that passed, Kagome would be further and further out of reach. He was sure that Shippou had not yet found and hid her, since Hoshimaru was still present at the Shrine, although the child was not happy. He pined for his mother each day, not understanding why she would leave him.

He and the others had been working together, but it was difficult. Kagome had traveled alone, and on foot, yet no one had seemed to have seen her, and she left almost no traces of herself behind. Experienced trackers like Sango had difficulty following her path before it faded to nothing.

Eventually, he had been forced to aid Sesshoumaru in his search, simply because Sesshoumaru had the financial backing able to conduct a wide-scale investigation. He had tried to drop the animosity he felt toward his older sibling in order to better work with him for the sake of finding Kagome.

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Sesshoumaru had a purpose this time. He wouldn't drown himself uselessly in alcohol or women. He wanted neither. The only thing he needed was Kagome.

Sesshoumaru had put everything into his search, not caring for the cost. In the end, he had found that his best lead came from Shippou himself. The boy was silently tracked and the cabin Kagome had resided in for the past four years had been discovered.

Without waiting for the others, Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha ordered a plane and boarded it, flying halfway across Japan to the Akatsune hunting cabin.

Apprehensive, Inuyasha pounded on the door, trying his best to not to get his hopes up.

To his surprise, the door opened almost immediately and a chair came sailing out of it. The two Taisho brothers jumped aside, the chair smashing harmlessly into the dirt behind them. Before them Shippou stood, looking haggard and worn. His eyes blazed with anger. "What the **fuck **are you doing here!" He screamed, his voice hoarse.

Inuyasha's eyes widened. The kid looked like absolute shit. He obviously had not slept in days. What the hell happened to him? They had not slept either, but Shippou looked on the verge of a vengeful collapse. His whole body shook with violent tremors. It took him only a minute to realize that those tremors were caused by silent sobs.

"Shippou?" He asked worriedly.

"OUT! GET OUT!" The boy screamed. "DON'T COME NEAR HERE!"

"Shippou." Inuyasha stepped forward, but the boy flailed. He turned questioning eyes toward his brother, who, although appeared stoic, was worried himself. Something was terribly wrong.

Shippou collapsed, hands covering his face. She was gone. She had left. Everything of hers was gone from the cabin. He had no idea how she had been able to make it to the cabin and leave before he got there, but it was gone. All gone. Sobs wracked his body as he lay, crying brokenly in the doorway.

Inuyasha hefted the weeping boy easily, carrying him inside. Once they were inside, Inuyasha concluded that Shippou had probably been at the cabin the whole week. Everything inside was a total wreck.

Sesshoumaru shut the door behind them. Inuyasha lay the boy on the couch and absently noted the bareness of the room. Sesshoumaru was much more quick on the uptake. He recognized the signs of Kagome's desertion, after all, his own house had felt quite similar after she had left. He also noticed the ripped out garden behind the cabin. It must have been her garden. Kagome was no longer here, but she had been.

He ran upstairs, hoping for clues the Akatsune had not yet found.

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Inuyasha looked over the younger boy worriedly. Shippou clung to his shirt, almost desperate for stability. "She's gone Inuyasha! He took her!"

Inuyasha stiffened. "What!"

"He took her! Naraku has her!" Shippou sobbed, curling up into a small ball. He was useless, he couldn't help her. It was just like when his parents died. There was nothing he could do! Kagome was too weak to fight Naraku off, and he didn't know enough about him to save her! He was losing her all over again.

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One room on the second floor, Sesshoumaru found, was completely empty. It was just a wooden shell. He assumed that it had been Kagome's room. He noted a strange black spot under the window sill. It was oddly suspicious in the otherwise bare room. He strode over to examine it. The spot was a spider's silhouette that had been branded into the wood. Sesshoumaru snarled. It was Naraku's trademark. He gripped the wood tightly in between his hands and violently ripped it from its holdings.

Photographs spilled out from a hollowed place the sill had hidden. Each was an 8x10 glossy in a terribly familiar style. Kagura had taken those photos! He snatched them up, glaring at them. They were snapshots of Kagome from four years ago up to night she had left the shrine last week. Sesshoumaru clenched his jaws, stifling the scream of outrage.

Naraku had been watching Kagome the whole time, knowing about her and taunting him. Kagura had been part of his employ, and she played the double agent, loyal to Naraku throughout the whole ordeal! The bitch! After he had realized his folly, he had tried to hunt down the lying bitch, but Kagura had all but disappeared. He knew now, she had fled to the security of her employer and vanished.

He angrily hurled the photos across the room. He picked up the broken window sill and pitched it against the walls when the flimsy paper did not cause satisfactory destruction.

He felt disgusted. The feelings of self-loathing, the guilt of what he had done, his own revulsion at himself, it all came crashing down on him. He fell to his knees in defeat. It was wrong. So wrong.

He gripped the splintered wood from where he had torn off the sill, not caring about marring his flesh. His blood dripped to the floor heedlessly. Dulled golden eyes stared out the window blankly.

Everything was wrong…he hated himself more than ever at that moment. He hated himself for allowing it to happen. If he had just trusted her more, instead of those around him. If he had set her value higher than his own business, than himself. If only he could have seen past his own greed and selfishness…If he had loved her like he should have…

He could have protected Kagome. He could have treated her like she truly deserved. He would have treasured and trusted her, and she would be with him. She would have been alright.

Instead, a pair of crimson eyes and a white gloating face had watched over her. He had kept her in his dark shadow, knowing of her, and tormenting her through him. Sesshoumaru had been used for foul and disgusting reasons, while blaming her the whole time. Now she was out, alone, and probably falling into the hands of the one he hated more than himself.

She would believe his lies about her friends and family not wanting her. Her head would be filled with thoughts of her own worthlessness and uselessness. She wouldn't be taught to see her own value, instead, she would be used as a tool in Naraku's malicious games. She wouldn't return to Sesshoumaru. No. She wouldn't come back again. He had truly lost her this time.

Naraku had played them all.

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	12. Chapter Twelve: Epilogue

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**Chapter Twelve: Epilogue**

Kouga was talking animatedly with Ginta and Hakkaku as he sped down the highway. He was still stewed over the fact that he had been roped into picking up the Southern Co Propriety Packets. It was a job no one wanted since it required one to drive practically halfway down Japan to get the damned papers that were too valuable to be faxed, but had to be picked up personally. So, he ended up dragging Ginta and Hakkaku with him as misery loved company.

It had been four years since he had to retrieve the packet last, Naraku picking on someone else for the delivery for the past few years.

He had turned his head to scowl at Hakkaku for his bad humor when Ginta let out a surprised shriek. Kouga's head whipped around, cobalt eyes widening, he slammed on the brakes. There was a body on the road!

"Shit!" Kouga cursed. This was just like four freaking years ago. He prayed that this time, the girl wasn't pregnant or something. He pulled over onto the side of the road, Ginta and Hakkaku following as he made his way out of the car.

The woman was curled on her side, passed out on the shoulder of the road. Gingerly, he flipped her over and brushed the hair from her face to get a better look at her. "Kami…" It was her! "Get a bottle of water!" He roared, picking her up and cradling her in his arms bridal style.

Hakkaku scrambled for the water while Ginta ran ahead of Kouga, opening up the car doors and lowering the seats back so that the girl could be lain down for examination. She wasn't looking too good at the moment.

Kouga couldn't believe his eyes. It was really her! Kagome…

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Her eyes opened slowly, blinking often to adjust to the sudden brightness of the room. Kagome found herself staring upwards at an unfamiliar ceiling. The disembodied sensation of distance washed over her. She had made it far. She had no idea where she was, but, perhaps this time, she was far enough to not be found again.

Soft brown eyes stared down at her. She followed the expression to look upon a concerned face. He looked somewhat familiar, but Kagome couldn't recall from where she had seen him before.

"Higurashi-san?" He asked, his voice soft and gentle. "How are you feeling?"

Kagome's lips parted, a choking gasp being emitted.

"Oh! How thoughtless of me!" The man grinned sheepishly, flushing. "You're dehydrated." He moved across the room toward a pitcher of water. Once he was far enough, Kagome noted that he wore a white coat. She assumed he was a doctor, meaning, she was back in the hospital.

Fear shot through her. If she was in the hospital then that meant that she could be found again! The people at the hospital would have tried to contact her family. They would find her! No! She couldn't let that happen! They deserved better than for her to be burdening them with her presence. She began to struggle upwards, hoping to make it out of the hospital before they came. She didn't want to see their disappointed faces. Their faces would be filled with disgust at her. She wouldn't be able to bear it.

"Higurashi-san!" The surprised voice startled her from her struggles. The doctor rushed over, all but spilling the pitcher onto her in his haste. "What are you doing? You must rest!"

She looked up into his earnest face. Something about him was familiar. He was bent over her, a concerned expression spread across his features. "Higurashi-san?"

Her brows furrowed. She had seen that face before, that expression…"Hou…jo-kun?"

The man's face brightened immediately. "You remembered!" He beamed, then scribbled something down on his clipboard, muttering something about trauma. "I'm so glad to see you again, Higurashi-san. It's been so long!" He exclaimed, grinning, returning his attention back to her. "I'm surprised you remembered me, it's been over ten years. Well, actually, a little over four years, but you were unconscious that last time." He babbled, while carefully mopping up the spilled water on her with a soft towel.

Kagome could barely understand him in her haze. "What?"

He started. "Oops." He remarked, blushing. He quickly poured her a glass of water, setting a straw in it and placing it on the tray before her. "Drink and rest, Higurashi-san. I'll be back in a few hours. We can talk then. Bye!" He waved, leaving with a sort of dreamy, absent-minded, expression on his face.

Kagome sighed, leaning back into her bed. She was exhausted. She could barely move. Her eyes closed of her own accord. Silently and unnoticed, tears slid down her cheeks. Why did she have to be found?

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Houjo had barely closed the door fully before Kouga was on him and questioning. "Is she alright? How is she? What happened to her? Is she sick? Injured? Pregnant!"

His clipboard being the only defense in between himself and Kouga, Houjo held it up shield-like, his eyes wide and startled. "Ah, yeah. She's just weak right now. Malnutrition and dehydration are her largest problems. I'm worried about her mental condition though. Her body will heal with care and time, but…she seems unstable." He silently checked some notes on his clipboard. "I'm worried." He frowned thoughtfully.

Kouga growled. "I am too! It doesn't seem right for her to be like this…I wonder what happened. Where ever she came from, she shouldn't be allowed back. It doesn't look like she's been treated right."

Houjo flushed a little. He agreed with his friend. It didn't seem right at all. The Kagome he remembered had been a bright and loving child, whom he had a not-so-secret crush on…He blushed darker. Coughing slightly, he caught Kouga's attention, which had previously been focused on glaring at the innocent and unsuspecting hospital floor tiles angrily. "I…I don't think I'm going to report it to administration." He began quietly.

Kouga's cobalt eyes widened. Mr. Always-By-the-Book wasn't going to play by the rules? It was surprising to say the least. But he held his silence to allow the doctor to continue.

"She recognized me. I don't know how much she remembers though. I think that we can transfer her into our custody until she's well enough. She should remember you too. So, I was thinking, once she's dismissed from the hospital, she'll stay with you and we can keep watch over her until she's better. Her condition seems to only have deteriorated from before. She's not any better." He stated grimly.

The two men frowned. They both remembered last time. Four years ago, Kagome had fallen under their care. In the strangest twist of déjà vu, Kouga had found Kagome's limp body on the side of the road. Luckily enough, the nearest hospital wasn't too far, and Houjo had been stationed there, though neither of the men knew it at the time. Both had been childhood friends of Kagome, along with Miroku, so many years ago, but they both had to move away from that neighborhood due to family or job-related issues.

Ah, the shock and horror of seeing her again after so many years. Not even six years later, and they run into Kagome again, and it was in one of the worst situations ever. She had been badly injured, looking as if she had been beat. At some points, she had received treatment, but not from a hospital. Bandages hung old, loose, and limp around her injuries, doing more harm than good at that point. She was dirty, exhausted, and completely dispirited. It had taken her a few weeks before she regained consciousness, and the first thing she tried to do was to cut herself with her own IV needle. Kouga and Houjo had been mortified.

In their panic, Kagome had been restrained. They quickly tracked down her relatives, and Akatsune Shippou had been contacted. The boy rushed to her aid. He had looked so earnest and horrified at the same time. He cared for her, they were certain of it. When Houjo had revealed to him of her pregnancy, the young man nodded in understanding, his lips sealed in a tight, grim line. He quickly paid all of her medical expenses and asked that the matter be kept private. Houjo agreed and set about to take care of the paperwork with help from Kouga. It was a well known fact to both men that Houjo was a terrible liar.

Months of recovery and setbacks passed. Kagome tried several more times to kill herself, coming dreadfully close to succeeding many times. It seemed that she had gotten better, learning that cutting along the veins caused blood to flow faster and stronger. Shippou had allowed for her to be restrained, but refused the allow her to be sedated in fear of the baby's dwindling health. She went into labor two months premature.

The whole time, Shippou had kept silent about what lead her to this condition. When questioned, his face would flush a dark red, furious at the memories, but he remained silent. Somehow, he had avoided police involvement, and Houjo, trusting the young man's judgment, decided not to press the issue with the authorities. Once the infant's condition was stabilized, and the mother somewhat under control, the three vanished from the hospital.

In hindsight, Kouga knew he should have tried to track them down, tried to find them, but he also knew that the Akatsune had taken them into hiding. He was probably trying to hide Kagome from the man who had hurt Kagome. He sighed. Kouga understood, he really did, but seeing Kagome hurt again didn't make him feel any better. This time around, he and Houjo would be the ones to watch over her. They wouldn't contact her relatives. They had already been unable to protect her twice. Kouga would make sure it wouldn't happen a third time.

-:- -:- -:-

Touga sat in his car in silence. It had only been a few days since Kagome's initial disappearance. However, Myouga had done a good job in keeping track of her. Something was definitely manipulating Kagome's movements. For a while, she even vanished from Myouga's skillful tracking. She had been found again, in the same hospital as before. It made him edgy. Too much of it was coincidental, and he didn't like it. As much as he wanted to rush the hospital and demand Kagome's release back to her family, he was sure that it would be the wrong thing to do.

He had researched the background of the two men who seemed specific in watching over her. They had been childhood friends of Kagome. She had been close to a group of three boys and her sister. Houjo and Kouga had moved away about ten years back, leaving her with Miroku and Kikyou as companions. A few months after that, Sango had moved in with her family. A year later, Kagome's father had died and through their own manipulations, Kagome somewhat befriended Inuyasha, but Sesshoumaru had still been an estranged factor to her.

Reviewing her life, Kagome never had much choice in the matters before her. It seemed that everything had already been decided for her, whether it was fate, or her mother's, or his own doing. He sighed heavily. It wasn't right, and it wasn't fair.

He looked over the files he held in the passenger seat. They were Kagome's medical records. She had suffered more than he had anticipated, her mental state as fragile as a sheet of sugared glass. Her body had been repeatedly broken. It was a miracle in itself that she had been able to move as though uninjured. He assumed that she had simply masked the pain. He knew she wasn't taking any painkillers or medication. She never visited the hospital unless forced. Even then, she behaved only in front of the doctors. Once she was released home, she immediately reverted into a state of passive self-infliction. She wouldn't treat her injuries, nor would she hinder them. She let them heal completely on their own, hoping that perhaps one day, her body would quit, and she would not longer be able to heal.

It made Touga sick. It was his son's fault for forcing her into this state. It was his own fault for believing that Sesshoumaru would not be so stubborn or stupid. He had not watched over Kagome enough, thinking that it was Sesshoumaru who needed help more. He had not taken into account that Kagome, who had suffered much loss already, would be looking for someone to love her back as she loved.

His jaw set, Touga started the ignition. He carefully shifted the car into gear. He wouldn't interfere with her life anymore. He only seemed to be harming her, and that was the last thing he wanted for the poor girl. The Houjo and Kouga seemed to be good men who would take care of her and aid her in healing. They would watch over her, help her, heal her. He already saw that they cared deeply for her. They loved her, and they were what she needed. He would have Myouga keep and eye on Kagome, but he would do no more. If Sesshoumaru were truly intent on finding her, he would do so on his own. Touga would not help him. With a heavy heart, but a strong resolve, Touga drove away from the hospital.

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_**End**_

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SM: There is a sequel to this. _The Pain of Losing Again_. The link for it can be found in my profile page.


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